HOPE… (by Salome Shoombe)

HOPE.., what a word, they say never lose hope & hope should be the last thing to die in a man. Hope is positive & hope is good is what we have been made to believe… I don’t wish to argue against it for I am a positive person & I support all that is good, but there is always two sides to a story which many people don’t bother to look at. Hope can be bad…, Hope can be evil… example being if u are stuck in a dysfunctional, abusive relationship & hoping he will change (that is the story for many woman)… eish…, I have seen what hope can do… & at times it has not been a pretty picture. Hope “can be” (& I repeat the word “can be”) one of the worst evils you can do to a man for it can prolong the torment of a man, it can prolong his suffering… Dont hope in hopeless situations!!! It is sometimes important to declare a situation hopeless, pick up the pieces and move on.
Positive thinking can fool us at times. We hear people say: “All you need to do is think positive & everthing will be okay, or if you are not winning the battle you are simply not trying hard enough. When hope is used as a disguise for positive thinking, people are deluding themselves. Hoping can be totally unrealistic. Hoping for instance that our politicians will not lie to us & that things will improve is an excuse not to do anything about it. Hope is a form of naive optimism, as are other positive thinking myths, which include positive thinking being a cure to all our problems, enabling us to achieve anything & not require knowledge and action in order to bear fruit. Books like “The Secret” make it seem like all you have to do is be positive & you will achieve your dreams. Optimism is necessary, yet it is not sufficient. Skills & knowledge will do the trick & taking action because far greater than the law of attraction is the law of action. The power of positive thinking exists within certain parameters which require us to be realists & not dreamers. Have vision but look into the future realistically. Forget being naively optimistic and rather focus on a more rationalised approach. Be positive not that there wont be any obstacles, but that you will be able to handle them when they arise.
To those in abusive, dysfunctional, messed up relationships, or maybe you’re dating a married man, or one of those guys that like having their bread buttered on both sides, having his girlfriend & u being his side-dish… (examples are endless)…, stop hoping he will change, stop hoping he will leave her for you, especially when he is married, stop hoping he will leave his wife for you… HE WON’T!!! Open your eyes & get out of there. End the relationship & end your suffering. Realise that every ending brings with it a brand new beginning. The end of an abusive relationship can be the start of a transformation & new beginning. We have all heard the saying that when one door closes, another opens. Often we are so busy holding onto the closed-door that we are not able to enter new chapters that are just waiting to unfold, all because of Hope… Let go!!! Who knows, one day your ex will see you “happily married!!!” (& say: “Damm, I messed up”…..)