· By Herbert
· It takes the Heart to Truly Love! ( A repeat by request)
How often do you do or say something that you do not truly mean with your heart? The heart is all that matters when it comes to relationships. If you love from the heart, I pray to God that, He gives you someone who also truly loves from the heart. Perhaps you told your husband or wife that you loved them, but you really did not mean it. You just said it to make them happy. Well this is a good start. It is better than not saying anything at all. But wouldn’t it be so much better if you could say it and really mean it? The word heart used in the verse above is the same Greek word used for soul. So that means you must involve mind, emotions and will all together to do something from your heart.
This means that when you do something by an act of your will, you should be able to have the right thoughts in your mind, and the right feelings and desires in your emotions. When you make love are you thinking about how much you love this man or woman that you are joining with in body? Or are you trying to think of some other person whom you would rather be making love to?
Are you just doing this because it feels good, or are you doing it as an expression of all the love that is inside of you? This is what it means to do something from your heart. And it could just involve a change in attitude. How do you change your attitude? By simply choosing what you will keep in your mind. And how do you change your feelings? By keeping the right things in your mind. When you express your love to each other, do you let the fantasies come into your mind like you do when you think about romance? Do you think about how wonderful your spouse is, and how you cannot wait to be with them?
Or do you complain because he came home too early from work and messed up your plans? Did she mess up your plans by insisting that you fix that broken door NOW? You did what you spouse wanted you to do. But did you do it from your heart? Think about it the next time you do or say something to the person you chose to spend your life with. Are you doing this from the heart or not? If you have a problem doing this, then why not take Paul’s advice, and do it as though you are doing it for the Lord? Perhaps this will release the faith, hope and love that you need to truly do everything in your marriage as from your heart.
Ignite the love
Human nature is strange! Something that means the world to you at the beginning will suddenly no longer mean the same to you after a while.
Let me give you an example. Supposing you have earnestly desired to buy a Cadillac for years! You’ve thought about it and dreamed about it, and suddenly the time comes for you to get your hands on one. You’re so excited! You think it is the best thing that has ever happened to you! You feel big and important and just want to drive around in it at every possible moment! But things begin to change. After a few month, suddenly the novelty and the feeling of being so special, begins to wear off. It is no longer so important to you, and you begin to take it for granted. When you need to go somewhere you just get in the Cadillac and drive. Hey, it’s your car. It’s what you drive. It’s nothing special! Now you are probably aiming for something better again. Why am I talking about driving elite cars on this marriage article? Because just like you can earnestly desire a car, a house or an overseas trip, the chances are you felt the same way about meeting and marrying your husband or wife. You really desired him or her badly, and you felt unfulfilled until you met each other. When you finally met and began to date, life became wonderful! You felt like you were walking around in heaven! Your heart’s desire was fulfilled. You were in love, and you felt like you could never live your life in any other way! But then what happens? Reality hits in! Pressures of life come upon both of you, maybe some kids arrive on the scene, and things are not quite the way they were before. You don’t feel the same excitement you did before, when your spouse phoned or arrived back from work or a business trip. You become busy with your life and go on your way, and while most of the time you are happy enough, often that spark has gone!
Get back the love spark.
It’s really not difficult to do. I want to propose a little test to you, which will very likely amaze you as you look at the results! You need to do it:
Especially if you are unhappy in your marriage and are struggling through it
If you are relatively happy, but there is no real excitement, and you are taking your spouse for granted
In other words:
Everybody Needs To Do This Test!
How do you do it? It’s simple:
Each of you must take a piece of paper and a pen. Now, sit down and begin to write down everything that you love about your spouse! When you first met him or her, what was it that made you get butterflies in your stomach when you just saw him or her? List everything that you can think of – what you loved in the past and what you love now. When you dated, did she always wear that beautiful perfume that made her smell so gorgeous and feminine? After you met him, did you love the way he always encouraged you after a bad day’s work? Did you love the way she smiled at you when you were feeling stressed, and made the sun shine in your life? Did you love the way he was such a gentleman and made you feel so special when you went on a date? Once you have written everything down, then hand the sheet of paper to your spouse and let them read how you see them. You may be amazed to find little things and habits about you that you didn’t know were appealing to your spouse!
The point of this exercise?
Firstly, you will remind yourself of all of those special things in your spouse that you have probably forgotten about or taken for granted. You will begin to stir up exciting and positive emotions about your spouse once again. You will begin to see them in a different way, and will see what a special person the Lord has given to you! The exercise can also lead you to begin communicating more! You may find yourself really opening up to your spouse and pouring out more that is in your heart that you feel about him or her. Just remember one thing: Keep it positive! You are not having a slinging match and telling all the negative things about your spouse. No, rather you are investing in the positive side of your marriage/relationship instead.
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