Driving your partner into someone’s arms unknowingly.
By Herbert Mtowo
Many a times I get people asking me what does it really take to have a faithful partner? My answer is most often misunderstood, by many. It takes you to have a faithful partner, yes I mean you as the other partner in the relationship, and secondly it takes you, your principles and who you are as a person. The problem with most relationships is that they are gradually dying a very slow and painful death. The small things that we ignore are the ones that have destroyed and are destroying love.
Like I said in my last article on faithfulness, the challenge to be faithful isn’t a men alone issue now but more and more women are found to be struggling to be faithful, in their relationships. I argue with my friends on this delicate topic. I firmly believe, both the two partners contribute to the unfaithfulness of the other. The small attention, small things that couples or partners used to do together to keep the fire and hold them together, are washed away as the relationship matures or grows old. It is the responsibility of both partners to keep each other from straying, into bed with another man or woman.
Go through the role play and check if you have not contributed one way or the other to what your relationship is currently going through. Other relationships have been reduced to more of having routine sexual intercourse, the spark is gone, people are too busy with so many other responsibilities which are also draining the fire and spark out of their relationships. I find it difficult that most couples only touch and feel each other when they are in bed, yet feeling and touching cannot be reduced to a mere formality to such levels. I talk to couples and some say they haven’t kissed each other in the last couple of months, they argue that they don’t find the time anymore or the spark to kiss and fondle isn’t there anymore. Take a look at yourself and see if you aren’t going down just like everybody else is. Read this role play below, enjoy it.
Herbert arrived at work on time as always. As he walked in the door, he was greeted by the secretary of the little company he worked for.
Janet was not a raving beauty, but she sure knew how to make herself look good. Today she was wearing an outfit that really made her figure stand out. Her hair was neatly styled to enhance the shape of her face, and the right balance of powder, eye shadow and lipstick made her look really attractive.
Herbert was a happily married man, and he was not in the habit of looking at other women. But the sight of Janet and the way that she presented herself, was something that any normal red- blooded man would notice.
He did not lust after her. He just felt something stir inside of him. He tried to imagine Mary, his wife, dressed and made up like that. She looked really good when she did. Then, pushing aside the natural male response to a beautiful woman, he walked to his office and sat down to work.
Before long, the tasks of the day began to fill his mind. Phone calls, projects, letters, emails to reply to and all of the usual daily activities kept his mind busy. In the middle of his intense activity, he was interrupted by a knock on the door. It was Betty, a co-worker, needing a file that was on his desk.
He looked up to see her leaning over his desk. She had a lovely smile on her face, but that was not what caught Herbert’s eyes. She was wearing a low cut dress, and as she leaned down to pick up the file, he could not avoid looking right down the front to see a sight that he should not have seen.
"Pull yourself together Herbert” he said to himself ", you should not be affected by other women."
But he was affected, and no matter how much he tried to fight it, he found a strong desire rising up inside of him. He and Anne had not made love for over a week now. It seemed that they were both living in different worlds at times, and they just did not get time for intimacy.
But now a strong desire was beginning to arise in him to be intimate with a woman. Not just any woman though. As lovely as all these other women were, it was Mary that he loved. He looked forward to going home to be with her.
Herbert shut out of his mind all the pictures that the enemy had started to put there. He was not going to give in to the spirit of lust that was attacking him right how. He thought of his lovely wife. He pictured her in his mind, with her hair brushed and arranged, and her makeup done the way he liked it.
He could see her wearing that red dress he had bought her. She looked so good in it. She was so beautiful when she smiled sweetly. He knew what he was going to do when he got home. He was going to take her right away to the bedroom and express all the love that was burning inside of him.
As the day progressed, it seemed that Herbert bumped into one beautiful woman after another. Even when he walked past newsstands on the way to his car at the end of the day, it seemed as though the women on the covers of the magazines were calling out to him.
The journey home seemed to last forever. He could not wait to get home to his lovely wife. She would look so lovely, just to please him. She would greet him with a smile on her face. She would welcome him into her loving arms.
These thoughts were still in his mind as he walked into the front door of his home. He nearly tripped over something that had been left lying on the floor of the hallway, and it soon became apparent that not much had been tidied up in the house today.
“Hi Honey, I’m home!” he shouted
There was no response, so he walked though into the living room to see where his wife was. The sound of the television blaring showed that she was probably watching something. Sure enough, this is where he found her. She was sitting watching TV, and when he walked in and tried to say something, he got an immediate “Ssshhhh, I am busy” from her.
It did not take long for him to see that she had made hardly any effort on her appearance. The dull and faded old top she was wearing was still wrinkled and had probably been lying around un-ironed for some time. Her baggy pants made her look much fatter than she really was and was hardly flattering for her figure. Her plain face contained not a trace of makeup, and her straggly un-brushed hair added to the sloppy appearance.
Herbert loved his wife. But any visions of making love to a beautiful woman vanished like smoke in the air. The scowl on her face when he tried to say something to her made her the most unattractive woman he had seen all day. He thought about Janet, who had looked so good all day at work, and Betty, whose body had stirred him. He thought of all the smiling, beautiful women he had met and talked with during the day.
Walking to the bedroom, he threw down his briefcase, kicked off his shoes, and sat down on the comfortable chair in front of his computer. Perhaps there was something of interest in his email box. There certainly was nothing of interest in his home tonight.
What bothered him the most though, was that Mary did not consider him important enough to at least make herself look a little more attractive for him. She was more interested in other things. He felt hurt and disappointed. We both play a part when it comes to faithfulness, you either drive your woman or man away into someone’s arms or you keep them in your arms happy, loved and appreciated. Its the small things that start the paths of destruction and many people only realise when the damage is very difficult to repair. Watch the small things that eat your joy like cancer slowly destroying the body. We all nee help, when it comes to these small things which we just ignore. Many relationships/marriages are dying a very slow and painful death, and the people involved not realising, the death of lo