Why do you want to marry ?
With most marriages ending in divorce, it is important to take a self inventory as to who you want to get married. In my talk to several people, I have discovered that people have really wild and at times crazy ideas about why they want to get married. In this article I am just sharing the fundamentals that should motivate me and you to get married. Several movies have been done on this matte rand what comes to my attention quickly is “Why did I get married?” “Why did I get married too? “am sure there are several I can mention but these two and many others try to bring out to the open some of the reasons why people get married. So to avoid much of the heartache and pain and not ask the question regrettably ,”Why did I get married?, you can as well ask yourself now, “Why do I want to get married ?” This will go a long way in making your heart and mind sure of what you want to get into before you do so. Read this along and give us feed back.
Its important to know that today, one out of two marriages will end in divorce, and that’s not so good statistics to deal with. The church one of the mandated if not most recognized organs to prepare people for marriages is also not sure what has hit it too, with several if not sky rocketing divorce cases amongst its own people. Many people fail to ask themselves why they are getting married and end up marrying for the wrong reasons. Love, of course seems like the best reason. However, it is not hope that doesn’t scare you off will explain as the article goes on . One of the best if not the most important reasons to get married is for companionship. To have a successful marriage, both partners must have a genuine companionship. Of course, there are several reasons why a couple should not get married even if they do have companionship but there are basic and important reasons like stated here. It must be said and emphasized that, love is not an overnight thing, it takes time to grow in love, the process continues several yrs even after getting marred.
People are born with a desire to be loved and give love. It can be the most fulfilling feeling in the world. However, marrying simply because of love is not a good idea. Yes, it may sound very romantic. In fact, it is one of the main reasons people get married. Love alone is not a good reason to get married. Marriages succeed when there is a strong foundation of companionship built by the couple. A strong foundation for marriage includes compatibility, trust, and communication. Couples should ask themselves three questions to decide if marriage is right for them. First, are we compatible? In a marriage, the definition of compatible slightly changes. It is more than liking the same activities, same foods, same movies and music, etc. Being compatible in a marriage is having the ability to adapt to changes. People constantly change from day to day and will continue to do so in marriages. Work, children, and in-laws are just some of the changes that occur in a marriage. The key is to be on the same page and know how to deal with your relationship when you are not.
Second, do you trust one another? Marriages without trust are marriages that end in divorce. Having your partner’s trust is a must have in a relationship. If there is the slightest doubt in either of the partners’ mind, then there is no trust. Relationships thrive on trust and cannot survive without it. Third, is there communication? Lack of communication can destroy a relationship. Communication is very important in a marriage. Married people need to communicate all the time. Talking only when times get rough or not talking at all only hurts the relationship. The lack of communication is also a leading reason for divorces. Divorcees commonly complain that the other partner never listened or avoided conversations with them. Communication is vital to the relationship. If you never communicate, how will you know if you are compatible and if you trust one another?
If you and your partner are able to answer these questions honestly and to one another’s satisfaction, marriage is a good idea for the two of you. Having compatibility, trust, and communication in your relationship will build the strong foundation of companionship you need for marriage. However, if one of these factors is not present, getting married is not a good idea. Marriage between two people should only occur when all factors are present. It is never a good idea to get married for the wrong reasons. Reasons not to get married include getting married due to love at first sight, sexual attraction, to cure loneliness, as an act of rebellion, rebound love, out of obligation, pressure, pregnancy, and for financial gain. Marriages based on these reasons most likely result in divorce. While for some people, one or all of these reasons may seem like the best thing, but they are not. Some of these reasons are selfish and do not Love at first sight. Ah, what a feeling! You smile constantly, have butterflies in your tummy, and may feel impulsive. Impulsive enough to get married. Getting married based on love alone is the number one reason not to get married. Love at first sight can be a temporary feeling. The things you do like running off to get married while under its spell can have lasting negative effects. No foundation has been built to support the marriage. Therefore, the marriage has no backbone and will most likely end in divorce. Also, marrying from lust at first sight is a bad idea as well. Marriages based on sexual attraction do not survive. Sex is one of the several factors that keep the flames of love burning and not thee only one. Its important to have an open mind to be able to develop strengths in every area of your relationship. Its sad that many people are just enduring and not enjoying marriage.
No one wants to be lonely. Marrying someone simply to avoid being alone the rest of your life is wrong, not only for you but for your mate as well. People fear being alone and will jump into a marriage quickly to avoid it. Chances are you will still be lonely only now you will be lonely in a marriage. These types of marriages have no foundation of companionship and usually result in unhappiness leading to divorce take in the considerations of the other partner’s feelings. Whether you are marrying as an act of rebellion or rebound, neither are a good idea. The acts are selfish. Getting married as a way to get even with someone, parents and/or ex-lover, only hurts the ones who love you and yourself. Rebelling into marriage can have a negative impact on everyone involved. Marrying someone while on the rebound is unfair to the other person. It is easier for someone on the rebound to fall in love because of the need to be loved. People on the rebound tend to marry the wrong person. They are in love with the idea of being in love and not the actual person. Rebound marriages can hurt the other partner who actually may be in love with the rebounded. The rebounded can also be hurt once they realize the mistake they have made.
You should never feel obligated or succumb to pressure to marry someone. These kinds of marriages usually result in divorce. Some couples marry when one of them feels obligated to stay in the relationship or feels too guilty to break it off. Marrying someone to please others is not a good idea. Giving in to pressure from family, friends, society, and/or your partner will only cause you unhappiness. These kinds of marriages are disappointing and commonly result in divorce. Marrying to avoid being a single parent is never a good idea. While pregnancies out of wedlock are on the rise, so are divorces. Many believe that by getting married because of pregnancy they are doing the right thing. Yes, a child does deserve two parents in their life. However, if a divorce can be avoided then it should. Divorces can turn bitter and have lasting negative effects on children. There are people today, whose behaviors is a result of the effects of the divorce that happened between their parents many, many years ago. Will have article mainly on that one of strange and difficult behaviors in relationships.
Things have changed now, such that today is not like several years ago, when people fell in love and got married. Marriage appears to have developed into a sort of business as people are becoming more materialistic. People in my parent’s generation got married without looking thoroughly at each other’s papers, mostly following their hearts. But this is like a fairy tale now. People in my generation prefer following their heads to following their hearts. They look for a partner with a certain job, income, appearance, or means ― and this is called "being realistic." Being realistic is often considered being smart. But being realistic should not mean putting less importance on love and more on papers. Being realistic should mean being aware of the importance of love in marriage. If we are not looking for a marriage that will fall apart within a few years, we have to realize that love is the only thing that helps keep the realistic marriage together. The purpose of marriage is getting distorted nowadays. The purpose of marriage is to be faithful and share life together for better or worse. Today, it seems that marriage is being used as a tool to attain something we want. When marriage is used as a tool, it can easily lead to an unfaithful marriage, and it is quitecommon for married people to have affairs. Although not everyone starts their marriage with impure intentions, people who lack love towards their partners are more vulnerable to being unfaithful. If marriage is not the result of love, but rather a tool, it is very difficult for the partners to feel guilty about being unfaithful. It is time to rethink the purpose of marriage in order to achieve happy marriages.
A strong bond, built by love, leads to a happy marriage. My parents had been in love for 10 years before they got married and they were very much in love when they did. Not every marriage can be perfect. They, of course, have had many difficulties keeping their marriage intact. But the strong bond, so called love, was the only thing that helped them to get through all these difficulties. Every time they wanted to give the marriage up, the great love they share always made them think twice and get back together. It is also impossible to have a happy family without having a happy marriage. Having a family is like building a house. If the first floor is not firm enough, it is impossible to build the second floor. Marriage should be the outcome of love and having a happy family should be based on having a happy marriage. Showing an example of a happy marriage to offspring can also result in another happy marriage in the next generation. If we want to have a happy marriage, we have to start to consider what is important in marriage. Love is the most valuable asset of all.
Lastly, marrying for financial gain is wrong. Many men and women marry for financial gain to escape their current financial situations. This is perhaps the most selfish reason to marry someone. These marriages almost always result in divorce with hurt parties on both sides. Marrying for any of the wrong reasons is a recipe for disaster. Marriage is about commitment. A serious commitment between two people should never be taken lightly. Make sure you are marrying for the right reasons and not the wrong ones. Take time to ask yourself today, ‘Why do want to get married ?” Check for the signals before you commit yourself to a long boring, lifeless and tiring marriage.
Marriage is not a fancy dream. Let’s be realistic."