Love and finding it. What is love?
A student asks a teacher, "What is love?"
The teacher said, "in order to answer your question, go to the wheat field and choose the biggest wheat and come back. But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick." The student went to the field, go thru first row, he saw one big wheat, but he wonders… maybe there is a bigger one later. Then he saw another bigger one… But maybe there is an even bigger one waiting for him. Later, when he finished more than half of the wheat field, he started to realize that the wheat is not as big as the previous one he saw, he knows if he has missed the biggest one, and he regretted. So, he ended up went back to the teacher with empty hand. The teacher told him, "This is love… You keep looking for a better one, but when later you realize, you have already miss the person…"Hope you guys there you aren’t missing on finding real love, take your time and juts make sure you don’t miss it hey.
"What is marriage then?" the student asked.
The teacher said, "in order to answer your question, go to the corn field and choose the biggest corn and come back. But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick." The student went to the corn field, this time he is careful not to repeat the previous mistake, when he reached the middle of the field, he has picked one medium corn that he feels satisfy, and came back to the teacher. The teacher told him, “This time you bring back a corn. You look for one that is just nice, and you have faith and believe this is the best you get…This is marriage.
It is important that we are able to find love at the appropriate time in our lives. They say you find true love once in your life. I still don’t know how far true this is, but there is an element of truth in it. Most people are unaware of the fact that there is a biological root for the feelings you feel and the way you behave while you are either in love or falling in love. Understanding the empirical roots of what we perceive as love sheds light on why relationships can be so torturous and addicting. Researchers have outlined the neurological effect of falling in love with a person, from the initial “crush” to long after the relationship ends. Love has quite an impact on the way the brain would regularly function otherwise and, just like alcohol; your judgment is the first thing to be impaired. Love even alters the activity of various neurotransmitters and hormones in the brain that alter behavior in ways comparable to some psychological disorders.
Biologically, love begins as lust in the form of the sex hormones testosterone and estrogen. These hormones create that initial desire for a person in the same parts of your brain responsible for primal survival drives. One study demonstrated that testosterone levels in men can shoot up by as much as one-third after even a casual chat with a new female acquaintance, which means that “love at first sight” may occur more often than not, in a general sense. Further casual interactions trigger the release of dopamine, a neurotransmitter associated with happiness, in the brain, which, in turn, triggers more testosterone, and thus the fall begins.
The next phase of falling in love involves the secretion of b-phenyl ethylamine, which deters negative judgment to whoever you are in love with. This naturally occurring drug makes any paramour more likely to observe only the good characteristics of their lover and ignore the poor qualities. This is why some people choose to stay in an abusive relationship for masochistic amounts of time. Humans are biologically predisposed to bear biased judgment in favor of their lover. When it comes to your brain, falling in love closely resembles addiction and other disorders. You can experience relationships with relatives on a very deep level. Your emotions are stronger and more intense than most people’s. When you care, it reaches to the very roots of your soul. Family is a serious matter. It must be noted that,Compatibility is a real phenomenon and it is crucially important in relationships. However, scientists are still learning about all the time. No one has the perfect answer yet. But it’s important to check compatibility in your relationship. How compatible are you with your partner?
It’s extremely difficult to explore the ingredients for compatibility on a series of “first dates.” Most people meet others through place of employment, through family or friends or just by accident. Thus, people naturally meet others with whom they’re similar. But, similarities alone don’t make a lasting and satisfying relationship. Differences can be healthy – as they can add spice and balance to a relationship. People need access to a large dating pool in order to meet and explore people with a range of similarities and differences in relation to themselves. Most people have a simplistic idea about compatibility, which draws from the apparently contradictory theories of similarity, (“birds of a feather flock together”) and complementarity (“opposites attract The bottom line is that relationships are held together over time because of compatibility, not chemistry, passion, love style, sex type or dating persona. Compatibility is a psychological concept, not an inherently hard-wired and unconscious phenomenon between two people that stems from uncontrollable chemical reactions in the brain. It is important to be compatible, though this can take a lot of time to cultivate it and get to that level of great compatibility, it is achievable.
To be continued: