Tipping Point—- In Marriage and Relationships

Tipping Point—- In Marriage and Relationships

Marriages start out on an exciting note, full of happy expectation. Yet some of those marriages end up on the trash heap. At some point from the engagement to the divorce something went wrong. Whatever the challenges are that lead to a failed marriage other marriages weather the storm and come through stronger. So, along the way from the proposal to the decree nisi there is some telling moment or development that tips the scales from success to sabotage; from freedom to failure; and from celebration to shame. So, we’re looking for the Moment of Truth in Marriage, where that tipping point is encountered.

The Moment of Truth is that point in the couple’s journey where they make a decision, balk at a hurdle, draw a line or otherwise change the course of their relationship. What started as delight became bogged down with disappointment. Strife replaced celebration and the couple began to move toward the death of their marriage. Now, the tipping point is not the same for each couple. Some couples know that it is all over by the end of the honeymoon. Other couples work together for thirty-five years before ending their marriage. For some there is a major shock, such as unfaithfulness, that bombards the relationship. For others some subtle, slow process sets in that eats away at the union. This makes it hard to come up with a simplistic “tipping point” definition.

Attitude Not Action

The tipping point, or Moment of Truth, when a relationship takes a turn toward its own destruction cannot be built on an action. Marriages have proven to be incredibly resilient. Marriages have survived and even flourished after such tragedies and traumas as abuse, violence, and adultery, death of a child, financial ruin, war, betrayal, attempted suicide, mental breakdown, and more. The tipping point, then, is not an action. Instead it is an attitude. The attitude may spring to life in response to an action, but it is wrong to blame the action. Others have endured the same treatment, circumstances, disappointment, and stress and so on, without destroying their marriage. So it must be firmly stated that the problem is NOT the action. However, when a wrong attitude comes into the picture it can be poisonous, impossible to endure and persistent to the point of total destruction. The tipping point is the point at which a wrong attitude takes root, setting the course toward ultimate ruin.

Biblical Warning

Since the Bible is supremely relevant and current, we should expect it to speak clearly to this issue, and it does. There is a serious warning given in the New Testament which is probably directly linked to the Moment of Truth, or Tipping Point in marriage. The Biblical warning is that people MUST give grace to one another. Specifically they are to give each other the “grace of God”. That means that they are to forgive each other, accept each other and be considerate of each other, in the same way that God is gracious to all of humanity. God gives sunshine and rain to both the good people and evil people. God is gracious, even to people who are campaigning to prove that God does not exist. Humans, then, are to be ever willing to tolerate and be gracious to each other, just as God is.

But the warning goes further than that. The Biblical warning is that if a person fails to provide God’s grace to others the only alternative is that the evil attitude of bitterness will spring up in their life and lead to all kinds of problems. “Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord: Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled” Hebrews 12:14,15. Let me paraphrase that text for you this way: “Be at peace with everyone. And keep yourself holy. If you are not holy you will never see God. Be diligent to keep on giving God’s grace to people. If you don’t a root of bitterness will spring up within you and agitate you. A root of bitterness will make trouble for many people around you.”

Key Moment

The key moment in any marriage is that moment when one or other of the couple decides to stop giving grace to the other. When one person makes the internal decision, “I’ve had enough of that”, “I’m not taking any more of this”, “I won’t forgive them this time”, or something like that, they have tipped the marriage into the path toward destruction.

It is possible for a couple to come close to that point several times, and still survive. If the person tips back, changing their mind and forgiving, extending grace, accepting the one they had decided to reject, then they can undo the damage that has been done. But when they come to that point and decide to stick on that track, that’s when the end has been determined.

The Grace of God

The most valuable ingredient you can bring into any relationship, then, is the grace of God. A couple which has determined to always forgive and extend grace to each other will be able to ride over the ups and downs of their relationship. Remember that bitterness only springs up when someone has determined to stop giving God’s grace. As long as the graces of forgiveness, compassion, acceptance, sacrificial commitment and such like are poured into a marriage that marriage can weather any storm or strain. When the attitude turns from one that gives grace to one that digs in with hardness of heart, bitterness takes root and poisons the mind, attitudes, decisions and relationships. Remember, the problem is not the actions experienced, but the attitudes taken up in response to those things.

Moments of Grace

Protect your marriage with moments of grace. Tip your marriage toward success and indestructibility. Determine, with God’s help, to give grace to each other. Determine to continue extending grace, God’s grace, no matter what. Instead of having Moments of Truth and Tipping Points that turn your marriage into dust, have Moments of Grace and multiple Turning Points which turn your marriage back to God’s grace and God’s miraculous provision for your happiness and joy.

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Laila and Majnu.

Laila and Majnu.

Laila and Majnu is an eternal love story that has a tragic end. These two young lovers sacrificed their love for each other, as they couldn’t be together. Such selfless was their love that they did not hesitate for even a minute when it came to laying down their lives for each other. The love story of Laila and Majnu is a very famous one and is no less than a legend. The love affair of Laila & Majnu is known to be so tragic and moving, which made them a household name. Even today, people know them as Laila Majnu; the "and" in between is missing.

Love Story of Laila and Majnu.

Laila was a beautiful girl born in a rich family. Being no less than a princess, she was expected to marry a wealthy boy and live in grandeur and splendor. But as they say, love thinks from the heart and she fell in love with Majnu, a poor lad. Their passionate love for each other knew no bounds and no logic. As fate would have it, the two lovers were banished from seeing each other. Laila’s parents married her off to a wealthy boy and she lived in a big mansion. She couldn’t bear the separation and committed suicide. Majnu became a madam and ultimately died on Laila`s gave.

The star-crossed lovers immortalized their feeling of love for each other by giving away their lives in the name of love. Their agony is felt by many in their hearts even today, when the heart-rending saga of Laila and Majnu is narrated to them. The story of Laila-Majnu has several variations. In India, it is believed that Laila and Majnu breathed their last in a village in Rajasthan, where they took refuge. Their graves are believed to be located in Bijnore village, near Anupgarh in the Sriganganagar district. A rural legend in the area holds that Laila and Majnu originally belonged to Sindh, from where they escaped to these parts of India and finally died in the Indian Territory.

Another variation of the romantic tale of Laila and Majnu pictures both the lovers meeting in school for the first time. Majnu is captivated by Laila’s beauty and falls in love in her. He is beaten by the schoolteacher for being more attentive to Laila than studies. As their families learn about this, the lovers are separated. However, they meet when they grow young. Laila’s brother Tabrez warns her against marrying Majnu. Mad about Laila, Majnu murders Tabrez, and is arrested. Laila is married off to some other man, who challenges Majnu to death as he gets to know Laila’s inclination towards Majnu. While Majnu is killed by Laila’s Husband, she kills herself on learning of Majnu’s death.

Antony and Cleopatra

Antony and Cleopatra

One of the most famous love stories by William Shakespeare, the love saga of Antony and Cleopatra is a truly a fable of worshipping your beloved. Antony and Cleopatra epitomize that love is another name for sacrifice. Their love story is among the most tragic ones, where both the lovers die instead of living ‘happily ever after’. ‘Antony and Cleopatra’ is among the most popular plays by Shakespeare. Enmeshed in the spirit of undying love, the tragic love story of Antony and Cleopatra is an example for all the modern lovers. It teaches them about selflessness in love and giving the ultimate sacrifice for a loved one.

Love Story of Antony

One of the most famous women in history, Cleopatra VII was the brilliant and beautiful last Pharaoh of Egypt. She was proficient in nine languages and a skilled mathematician. She is often considered to be a stunning seductress though she was studying to be a nun. She became the mistress of the famous emperor Julius Caesar. After he was slain, she saw his best friend Marc Antony, one of the rulers of the Roman Empire, and fell in love almost instantly. Their love affair progresses, but Antony returns to Rome on being informed that his wife is dead, and the pirates are raising an army to rebel against the triumvirate. Pricked by a sense of duty, he feels compelled to share his part of responsibility for the Roman Empire.

Back in Rome, Antony is forced to marry Octavia, while his heart still rests with Cleopatra. When Cleopatra gets to know about Antony’s marriage to Octavia, she is enraged in the beginning. However, as soon as she learns that Octavia is plain and not as beautiful as Cleopatra herself is, she feels secure and confident of winning back Antony once again. After settling for a truce with pirates, Antony returns to Egypt and crowns himself and Cleopatra as the rulers of Egypt. He is angry with the other triumvirs for not giving him a fair share of Roman Empire. He raises an army to fight against Octavia’s brother, Octavius Caesar, one of the triumvirs.

Enraged by Antony’s treatment of his sister, Octavius also prepares for the battle. The battle begins at the sea and Cleopatra pledges to assist Antony with her fleets. Cleopatra, however, leaves Antony in the middle of the battle and flees with her ships. Antony goes after her leaving his army without a commander. However, their differences are soon resolved and Antony pledges to fight another battle for Cleopatra, this time on land. Fighting all the adversities and despite all the threats, Anthony and Cleopatra married in 36 BC. While fighting a battle in Actium, Antony got false news of Cleopatra’s death. Shattered, he fell on his sword. When Cleopatra learned about Antony’s death, she was shocked and committed suicide by getting herself bitten by a poisonous snake.

Achieving gretaness through serving

Achieving greatness through serving.

|By Ozias Mucheriwa

It is somewhat interesting though heart-rending to see how people yearn for greatness with no regard for the principles that lead to greatness. More often than not, they contradict the principles of greatness by following the course of shallowness e.g. self-aggrandizement. Let us take a walk together and explore the art of greatness and one of the principles that govern it.

Greatness is a by-product of the process of serving. In business we strive to have as many customers as we can serve, although others go to the extent of luring more than they can serve, of course to their own detriment. When your customers are in need of your services you work tirelessly until you have satisfied yourself that they have received the service which they deserve. You also do this to maintain customer loyalty. A doctor on call can be called during the early hours of the morning when the majority is snoring and goes to save life. The greater the number of lives they save the greater they become. The more people you serve the greater you become and consequently theBy fatter your wallet gets in the process.

This principle has been reiterated since time immemorial. Christ the master teacher taught it, “And whoever will be chief among you, let him be your servant.” Calvin Coolidge further unravelled it. “No person was ever honoured for what he received. Honour has been the reward for what he gave.” On 20 January 1961, John F. Kennedy in his inaugural address breezed through this principle’s neighbourhood, “…ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country.” If you babble about how great you are in your neighbourhood no one will believe you but if you serve many, no one can doubt your greatness.

How does this principle work? You may ask. As all other people are going about their usual businesses, great musicians spend hours singing and dancing in front of no audience perfecting their talents so that when the time comes to serve they will be able to perform at their best. Apart from perfecting their voices, they go through rigorous practice and physical exercise to remain physically fit. The later is true for athletes and other various areas of endeavour. While others are enjoying, they are agreeing to be servants of their fans but when it’s time for competitions or winning of awards they become the great ones.

Now, in business we all know that the more clients you have, the more money you will make. In other words, the more individuals, organizations and institutions that you serve the greater you become. This also means that the more customers you have, the more masters there are for you to serve, and as certain as night follows day, the higher your income level becomes. A common axiom in business is, “customer is king.” Agree to be a servant to as many as you can and you will discover your seeds of greatness hidden therein.

Step by step life is a clinch

Step By Step Life Is a Cinch

By Ozias Mucheriwa

When you want to set on a journey you do not wait until all the traffic lights turn green before you to start off. As one door opens you enter and wait for the next to open until you go through all the doors. Nature will never align all the pins before you at one time. They say that a journey of a thousand miles began with one step.

The majority of people on the planet today is content with the lives that they are leading. For some, the leanness of their purse is a source of constant worry and anxiety. Their deteriorating health conditions, collapsing relationships and an apparently bleak future are all factors making life unpleasant and unbearable for them. You could be identifying with some of these circumstances and seeing no solution in sight. It is sad to note that the average individuals are literally doing nothing to improve their conditions. Instead they resort to mourning and complaining. Complaining, it has been said since time immemorial, will not help alleviate the problem, rather, it saps all the energy to act out of your being.

Whatever situation that we find ourselves in, there are small steps that we can follow to extricate ourselves. These steps vary from one situation to another, but the truth is, through a consistent application of fundamentals people can slowly see themselves moving away from their unpleasant circumstances to the sunlit paths of joy and happiness. Overweight people who want to shed off some weight usually get discouraged by seeing the scale tilting in a significant way to the wrong direction and then think that it will take a lifetime before they normalize. They will probably try to do a one year process in a week’s time and get discouraged. It is only some small consistent steps that are needed to implement the changes necessary.

If it is the condition of a lean purse then one has to look at his or her spending habits and start to take small steps to rectify them. The most important part being the implementation of a different way of doing things and in this case a different approach to handling finance. There are many ways through which one can increase their earning ability and also cut some spending habits without necessarily waiting for a financial dilemma before a free spender is morphed into a skinflint. It all starts with small steps towards making a change in areas where change is imperative.

The main idea here is doing something that takes you to a place and not to sit grumpily with crossed fingers hoping for the situation to improve or the government to change policy or that guy to die before you can progress in life. Nothing outside of ourselves will ever guarantee an improvement in our situations. You cannot afford to wait upon political redeemers to improve your circumstance. It is only you that has your best interests at heart and only you can start taking small steps towards a change in your life. Politicians are also fighting to achieve their own ends and boost their poll numbers. Your destiny is in your own hands hence it is only you who can do yourself a favor by taking small steps.

Small steps towards your goal is what will take you there. All the traffic lights will never be green for you to start on your journey. Start now to take small steps towards altering your destiny.

Is it Really true you wanna go ahead and marry your partner?

Is it true you wanna get married now and to your partner?

"Will you marry me?" These four words can make it or break it. Not only is the question a big deal, but also the way you ask it is a BIG DEAL. Taking the decision of marriage requires extensive thinking with a cool head. The decision of marriage is best left untreated if you and your lover are not in the right frame of mind. There has to be some understanding and some chemistry between the two of you to make it work. Don’t make yours and somebody’s life a pain by taking this decision with whom you are not compatible. Marriage is the most delicate relationship that we have because all other relationships are nurtured through it, so we should be wise and very knowledgeable of what we want to get into before we do. Hope these tips are very helpful, as you grow in love, but take your time and make sure you will not ask and regret why did I get married or “ Why did I get married too?” So you better ask yourself now, “Why do I want to get married?” If these questions can be answered now before you do, a lot of heartaches and regrets will not be regretted and experienced in life. All the best, have a fabulous one.

Proposing Marriage

  • Agreeing to the constitution of marriage is taking your love to the next level. If both of you are very much in love with each other and are looking forward to spending your life together, marriage is surely on the cards.
  • Have you discussed with each other about your personal goals and aspirations? If yes, then the next important question is are you willing to do what it takes to make this relation work? If the answer to the second question is even yes, you can start thinking of tying the knot.
  • Marriage brings with it additional responsibilities. Are both of you in the right frame of mind to take up the challenges post marriage? This is a very important question and need a lot of thinking to be done.
  • Before thinking of getting married, both the partners should feel the need to have a family of their own. In case such feelings runs down the spine of both of you, and the two of you are looking forward to spending family time with your beloved, this is it.
  • It is very important to be financially stable and sound before thinking of delving into marriage. Taking the present time into consideration, both the partners should be independent and earn a decent amount to sustain a family of your own.
  • Apart from being monetarily secure, you need to be emotionally strong. Marriage is not limited to the two of you. It is a union between two families. Both of you should be game to take up the responsibilities and challenges. You should also be emotionally strong to resolve matters and take charge of the new found status.
  • Know for sure that marriage is very different from dating. Things which seemed cute and adorable during the dating phase can turn out to be extremely daunting. Both of you should take into account that certain things would definitely change after marriage. If the two of you have already calculated the difference pre-marriage, it would be easier post-marriage.
  • Lastly, the word "Marriage" should no longer gives you goose bumps! In case you have agreed to all the questions listed above, you would definitely not have any!!

Breraking off without hurting.

Breaking off without hurting.

Rejection always hurts. No matter how much you sugar coat the truth, it always upsets the two souls who used to be in love. It is definitely better to end relationships amicably instead of fretting and fuming and making it even more difficult to go apart. No doubt it will be extremely painful and difficult to let go. But, if you are where you think your relation is not going the right way and you are thinking how to break off without hurting, you have come to the right place. Read on tips for breaking off without hurting yourself and the other person. This is a serious challenge in our days, people are breaking now and then and the impact is felt by so many around them, and we have created a society of victims with the way we break up.

Breaking Up Without Hurting

  • Make it Personal – NEVER break the news through a phone call, e-mail, or text message. It becomes even more rude and very impersonal and tells the other person that you don’t really care. Sit and talk to each other face-to-face and sort things out amicably.
  • Choose the Right Location – Deciding on the correct location is very important to ward off any uncomfortable feelings and any inconveniences. If possible decide on a neutral location like a café or if this is not possible, do it at the other person’s house. This is because if you do it at your place, it will be like asking him to leave your place after the formalities are over. Breaking off at his place will be easier as it will be you who is physically leaving.
  • Be Honest – Being sincere and open about your feelings and talking about why you feel it is not going to work out is the best way to end a relation. Instead of going back in time and arguing what went wrong with the other person, it better you say what you feel. Don’t hide your feelings and be honest about why you are feeling uncomfortable in the relationship.
  • Specify Reasons – Give a strong reason to support your break up. It is not wise to keep the other person wondering as to what went wrong. No one wants to think that they were just used as a time pass. Remember, what goes around, comes back. Someday you could be in the same position.
  • Control your Temper – This applies not only to the person who is giving the news of break up, but also the person at the receiving end. There is no need to get worked up and get angry at each other. Calling names and screaming does not help, it only makes things worse. It is okay to get upset and cry if you are feeling miserable. But creating a scene and making a further mess of a delicate situation does not help.

Knowing if he is in love with you.

If you want to know if he loves you?

So, you have known this guy for quite some time now. You love being with him and never feel lonely when he is around. Your face breaks into a smile at the very mention of his name. The first person you think of when you get up in the morning is him. But does he feel the same way about you too? Guys are finicky when it comes to admitting that they like a girl. And more often than not, they end up losing the girl just because it is too late to tell her that he is in love. Just to make it easy for both you and him, we bring you sure shot signs that he loves you. Read on about ways to find if a guy likes you and how to know if he loves you.

Ways To Tell A Guy Likes You

  • He takes interest in your day-to-day life. He asks how your day was and feels concerned if anything is wrong.
  • His behavior suddenly changes when you come around. He suddenly mellows down and becomes a bit quieter while chatting with his friends. Dead give away!
  • He remembers almost every small thing that you say. It shows how special you are.
  • He calls up just to listen to your voice and gives a silly reason when you ask as to why he called.
  • He insists on meeting up every now and then and admits how much he loves being around you.
  • He is good with everyone, but with you he goes that extra mile to ensure comfort.
  • His body language changes when you are there. He displays affection through subtle hints like stroking your cheek slightly, taking your hand in his palms and being less stiff.
  • He tries to be overtly friendly with you and takes that extra step to know more about you, your family and your friends.
  • When he praises only about you to his friends and family, it means he has got special feelings for you.
  • Friends are a total give away. If his friends treat you in a special way or say something about the two of you being couples, you know he is in love.
  • He looks in your eyes and you feel there is something special about it. He has this shine when he is looking at you.
  • He keeps looking at you when you are around and shy’s away when you look at him directly.

These are some sure signs that tell a guy really likes you. But do not confront him as soon as you find these signs in him. Give him some time to realize that he loves you. On the other hand, you can show him in your own ways that you like him too. You will know the right time to confide, you just do!

Surviving a Distance relationship. Final Part.

Surviving a Distance relationship. -Final part.

Ask anyone about the ways to endure long distance relation and you will know that it is enough to drive you to the borderline of insanity. Handling the absence of your partner is something that only the tough ones can go through. But then desperate times can bring out the best in anyone. Also, the hope of meeting your beloved someday keeps you smiling and braving the distance. Read further on to know how to make a long distance relation survive and make it easier for both you to remain in love forever.

Photographs
Make a scrapbook of your partner’s photographs. If you can, take print outs of his/her photos and stick it on your bedroom wall, or put it in a photo frame by your bedside. At least, you will get to "look" at him/her whenever you feel lonely and are missing him/her terribly. This will lessen some of your longing for him/her.

Communicate Daily.

Make sure you talk to each other daily, even if it is for 5 minutes. If you cannot talk, use the Internet and send mails daily. It need not be anything special. Just talk about did your day go and ask how was his/her day. Tell something that stood out or something that made you feel good in the entire day. Strike a conversation like what you would have done had you guys been together.

Little Things do matter.

So what if your beloved is 3000 miles away from you? You can always sense what your beloved uses in his/her daily life. Buy that cologne he uses, or get those aroma candles she loves. That way, you can always feel that he/she is right there, near you. Learning about their daily lives is a great way to keep the relationship healthy. .
Plan your meeting together.

Keep the excitement alive by planning your meeting together. That way, both of you will treasure the moment you will get to meet and will be looking forward to it. Make a list of things-to-do together when you meet. It will keep you from sulking till the time you are apart and you can always make plans to make your meeting special.

Set a limit of your absence.

When you set a particular deadline of the time you are going to be away from each other, you will not be as depressed as you will know that your wait is limited and will be satisfied by the mere feeling that someday you will be united again. You wouldn’t be bogged down with the thought that you would have to wait forever.

Surviving a Distance relationship. Final Part.

Surviving a Distance relationship. -Final part.

Ask anyone about the ways to endure long distance relation and you will know that it is enough to drive you to the borderline of insanity. Handling the absence of your partner is something that only the tough ones can go through. But then desperate times can bring out the best in anyone. Also, the hope of meeting your beloved someday keeps you smiling and braving the distance. Read further on to know how to make a long distance relation survive and make it easier for both you to remain in love forever.

Photographs
Make a scrapbook of your partner’s photographs. If you can, take print outs of his/her photos and stick it on your bedroom wall, or put it in a photo frame by your bedside. At least, you will get to "look" at him/her whenever you feel lonely and are missing him/her terribly. This will lessen some of your longing for him/her.

Communicate Daily.

Make sure you talk to each other daily, even if it is for 5 minutes. If you cannot talk, use the Internet and send mails daily. It need not be anything special. Just talk about did your day go and ask how was his/her day. Tell something that stood out or something that made you feel good in the entire day. Strike a conversation like what you would have done had you guys been together.

Little Things do matter.

So what if your beloved is 3000 miles away from you? You can always sense what your beloved uses in his/her daily life. Buy that cologne he uses, or get those aroma candles she loves. That way, you can always feel that he/she is right there, near you. Learning about their daily lives is a great way to keep the relationship healthy. .
Plan your meeting together.

Keep the excitement alive by planning your meeting together. That way, both of you will treasure the moment you will get to meet and will be looking forward to it. Make a list of things-to-do together when you meet. It will keep you from sulking till the time you are apart and you can always make plans to make your meeting special.

Set a limit of your absence.

When you set a particular deadline of the time you are going to be away from each other, you will not be as depressed as you will know that your wait is limited and will be satisfied by the mere feeling that someday you will be united again. You wouldn’t be bogged down with the thought that you would have to wait forever.