The struggle to stay on top.

The struggle to stay on top.

One thing I have personally realized is that pain is a part of life and growing up. Though it is and can be very unbearable it is one of the difficult experiences that we all go through and which we struggle to endure and neither do we have answers to it. The idea that grievers develop a relationship to their pain, as if their identity hinged on regarding themselves as unhappy. Many people become so familiar with those painful feelings that they are afraid to let them go. If it were not so sad, and if it did not have such dire consequences, one would be tempted to draw a cartoon of someone clinging desperately to a horrible looking creature called "pain," terrified of losing it. And yet, that is exactly what it looks like.

Some of us have very long-term relationships to pain. We may have unresolved "loss-of-trust" experiences from childhood that keep us in an almost perpetual state of acceptance of pain as a permanent condition. Many of us keep dragging the unfinished relationships of our past into all of our new relationships, and then acting surprised when they always end the same. We may be ill-equipped to deal with the feelings caused by the end of each new relationship, and we may be unaware that almost all of our past relationships are incomplete or unresolved.

Some of us are able to acknowledge that we have sabotaged many relationships. While we have the intellectual awareness that we are the common denominator in the sabotages, we find ourselves unable to change our behavior. If the intellect were the key to successful recovery then we would be able to think ourselves well. We would be able to understand ourselves into better actions. Clearly that does not work. Unresolved grief is cumulative and cumulatively negative.

Incomplete relationships create unresolved grief, and…. Unresolved grief creates incomplete relationships...

Incomplete relationships can cause us to limit our lives, can induce us to sabotage good relationships, and can encourage us to keep choosing poorly. Unresolved grief becomes a relationship to us as unworthy of happiness. We must learn how to grieve and complete relationships that have ended or changed. It may sound simple, and it is simple. Why then, do so many people resist taking the simple and clearly defined actions of Grief Recovery? The opening paragraph of this article referred to how familiar we become with our pain. Familiarity can create a powerful illusion that change is not necessary, that growth is not possible, and that where happiness is concerned, 20% equals 100%.

"Am I equipped for happiness?" Yes, but I am much more familiar with pain. As the direct result of years and years of practice, I am expert at identifying and relating to pain. Happiness is an unwelcome intruder in how I relate to myself. We have all searched desperately for the key to happiness. While it may sound simplistic to say that we held the key, ourselves, all along, it is true. Access to our own happiness is directly linked to our ability to grieve and complete our relationships with people and events, as well as our ability to grieve and complete our relationship to the pain we generate when we are reminded of the unhappiness we have experienced in our lives.

Many of us say, over and over, that if only this or that would happen I could be happy. The thing might be love or money or success or fame. And yet, how often do we get the very thing we wanted and wind up as unhappy as we were before, and even more disillusioned? To rediscover your ability to be happy, you must go back and grieve and complete all of the incomplete relationships from your past. As you do so, you will begin to find your normal and natural desire and ability to be happy. You may have heard people talk about stripping away the layers of an onion; we prefer the analogy of stripping away the leaves of an artichoke, and discovering your heart inside.

QUESTION: I have had many painful loss experiences in my life. Sometimes I feel as if there is no way I can ever let down my guard and allow any positive or happy experiences in.
ANSWER: In clearly identifying your behavior as a habit, you increase the probability of growth and change. The idea of changing a habit is probably less intimidating than the idea of changing a behavior. In truth, most of our behaviors are habits that we have practiced so well and so often that they seem like our nature. Many of our survival habits were developed when we were quite young. Often we are managing an adult life with the limited skills and perceptions of a small child. As we grieve and complete the events and the behaviors of our pasts, we become open to our ability to be happy.
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The struggle to stay on top.

The struggle to stay on top.

One thing I have personally realized is that pain is a part of life and growing up. Though it is and can be very unbearable it is one of the difficult experiences that we all go through and which we struggle to endure and neither do we have answers to it. The idea that grievers develop a relationship to their pain, as if their identity hinged on regarding themselves as unhappy. Many people become so familiar with those painful feelings that they are afraid to let them go. If it were not so sad, and if it did not have such dire consequences, one would be tempted to draw a cartoon of someone clinging desperately to a horrible looking creature called "pain," terrified of losing it. And yet, that is exactly what it looks like.

Some of us have very long-term relationships to pain. We may have unresolved "loss-of-trust" experiences from childhood that keep us in an almost perpetual state of acceptance of pain as a permanent condition. Many of us keep dragging the unfinished relationships of our past into all of our new relationships, and then acting surprised when they always end the same. We may be ill-equipped to deal with the feelings caused by the end of each new relationship, and we may be unaware that almost all of our past relationships are incomplete or unresolved.

Some of us are able to acknowledge that we have sabotaged many relationships. While we have the intellectual awareness that we are the common denominator in the sabotages, we find ourselves unable to change our behavior. If the intellect were the key to successful recovery then we would be able to think ourselves well. We would be able to understand ourselves into better actions. Clearly that does not work. Unresolved grief is cumulative and cumulatively negative.

Incomplete relationships create unresolved grief, and…. Unresolved grief creates incomplete relationships...

Incomplete relationships can cause us to limit our lives, can induce us to sabotage good relationships, and can encourage us to keep choosing poorly. Unresolved grief becomes a relationship to us as unworthy of happiness. We must learn how to grieve and complete relationships that have ended or changed. It may sound simple, and it is simple. Why then, do so many people resist taking the simple and clearly defined actions of Grief Recovery? The opening paragraph of this article referred to how familiar we become with our pain. Familiarity can create a powerful illusion that change is not necessary, that growth is not possible, and that where happiness is concerned, 20% equals 100%.

"Am I equipped for happiness?" Yes, but I am much more familiar with pain. As the direct result of years and years of practice, I am expert at identifying and relating to pain. Happiness is an unwelcome intruder in how I relate to myself. We have all searched desperately for the key to happiness. While it may sound simplistic to say that we held the key, ourselves, all along, it is true. Access to our own happiness is directly linked to our ability to grieve and complete our relationships with people and events, as well as our ability to grieve and complete our relationship to the pain we generate when we are reminded of the unhappiness we have experienced in our lives.

Many of us say, over and over, that if only this or that would happen I could be happy. The thing might be love or money or success or fame. And yet, how often do we get the very thing we wanted and wind up as unhappy as we were before, and even more disillusioned? To rediscover your ability to be happy, you must go back and grieve and complete all of the incomplete relationships from your past. As you do so, you will begin to find your normal and natural desire and ability to be happy. You may have heard people talk about stripping away the layers of an onion; we prefer the analogy of stripping away the leaves of an artichoke, and discovering your heart inside.

QUESTION: I have had many painful loss experiences in my life. Sometimes I feel as if there is no way I can ever let down my guard and allow any positive or happy experiences in.
ANSWER: In clearly identifying your behavior as a habit, you increase the probability of growth and change. The idea of changing a habit is probably less intimidating than the idea of changing a behavior. In truth, most of our behaviors are habits that we have practiced so well and so often that they seem like our nature. Many of our survival habits were developed when we were quite young. Often we are managing an adult life with the limited skills and perceptions of a small child. As we grieve and complete the events and the behaviors of our pasts, we become open to our ability to be happy.

The art of making love Part 3

The art of making love Part 3

1. Breasts: The most erogenous spot on a woman’s body and also the one that causes the most impact on a man’s psyche are breasts (certainly, in competition with a pair of hot legs). Kiss the area above and under the breast softly. Don’t be in a rush to reach to the nipples. Eventually, you will reach there. Stimulation of breasts can set the mood for her to experience the big – O. Keep teasing the nipples in a soft manner. Ensure that she is enjoying (she must be). Spend quality time in kissing this nerve rich spot.

2. Back of the Knee: Yeah, back of the knee is an area for certain and instant arousal. She may find it ticklish at first, but have fun doing it. Cover her entire back of the leg and slowly move your finger on her calf and leg, tickle at her at the back of the knee.

3. The Back: Her back, well, is another area that can enhance arousal and give maximum pleasure. Give her a gentle rub down, gently massage between her shoulder blades kissing softly and passionately at intervals. Give her back some passionate kisses and the occasional nibble too.

4. The Stomach: A flat sexy stomach (ahh…) is certainly a loved spot to kiss and hence you can kiss her stomach all the way through navel. Kiss, kiss and kiss.

5. Fingers and forearms: Well, fingers are a way to communicate and holding her fingers in your hands, slowly caressing them and tickling it all through the forearms. Kiss her forearms and make her feel want more.

More foreplay tips include, massaging her body with good smelling oil, taking a shower together or applying oil on each other’s body. Once you are done with the foreplay part and remember the time limit is not fixed. It all depends on how long you want to carry the act and the intensity you want to build. Now, that foreplay is about to end, you can move on to the next stage.

Talking Dirty.

Talking dirty is another way to enhance sexual pleasure and is an important aspect of how to make love. Since you know her body, you must know what your piece-de resistance is). Some examples of dirty talking are, ‘baby, you smell so delicious, can I just take a bite of you.And then some more or ‘I love smelling you, sniffing your body…can I have it’. Or, you have no idea how much I want you, right now. It certainly is an erotic way to pep up things in the bedroom. Use dirty talking as an effective tool and don’t let the power of words go waste. They work at the right time, at the right place and at the right moment! And when you will say to her, all you wanted to say, if not in these moments of prime intimacy.

Give her oral sex.

In the endeavor to learn ‘how to make love to a woman’, you’ve got to learn oral sex. Oral sex for many couples is the best option to start love making. It depends on your comfort level. If your partner loves oral sex then you can, for sure entertain her. Oral sex enhances takes you to heights of pleasure before switching to the final act. Be slow in performing oral sex. Slowly lick the outer edges of her genital area and make enhance her pleasure. Once she is aroused, you can carry on the act of sucking and licking as long as she wants for it. For better orgasms, oral sex is certainly a great booster. With sweet, passionate and juicy kisses, you can really turn her on. Once she is aroused and stimulated to a level that she wants you…and I mean she really pulls you inside herself (practically), it’s a sign that you both should proceed for the finale.

The climax.

Now, that you both just want to be one with each other, you need to slowly begin the sexual intercourse. Men on top or the missionary position is certainly one of dominating love positions for men and it enhances the pleasure by giving her maximum sensation. When it comes to her turn, women on top is one of the oldest forms of sexual positions and in this case, since she is aware of her G-spot, she can easily experience a wonderful orgasm. And there are whole lot of things to try as your intimacy advances and you both become more aware about each other’s body. There are hundreds of sexual positions that couples can try as they graduate in their physical intimacy level.

Massage To all women.

How to make love to your husband or boyfriend? Ladies, if this question is on your mind, then you must ensure that you know some tips on how to turn a guy on before love making. It has to be understood that proper communication creates a great chemistry between lovers and so bringing each other in the mood becomes easier. So, the bottom line is to understand your partner. For those who’re seeking love making techniques for the first time, they must ensure that they’re ready for first time sex, both mentally and physically. Following safety precautions is important to safeguard sexual health and is an important aspect of how to make love for the first time.

Last but not the least, by now, you must be aware of how to make love to your partner. One important thing to understand is that love making is certainly a blissful experience and so when it ends, you certainly will feel different. Don’t miss this opportunity to tell your beloved how dear she is to you and how much you love her…to express more aptly..Cuddling and snuggling beside you, I’m lost, intoxicated by your smell, bewitching eyes and then some more. All I want is you and your love. As I hold you in these arms, I feel you so close and with these arms, I promise to hold you forever…"

This isn’t meant to be a formula, but foundationally, so that people can go into a world of discoveries too. Making love still remains scared and precious in the eyes of God, and thus we all should understand that it’s not proper to just go give our bodies to very man or woman we bump into. There are so many attachments’ to go along with it. The reason why we now have sugar daddies is because most men don’t eat well and this affects their sexual performances with their wives, and we also have women who have become sugar mums because their men can’t satisfy them anymore. But there is no excuse to all of this, women be very careful of what your man puts into his stomach, if you are to keep the fires burning between the sheets at home. There is no excuse in life absolutely, no excuse whatsoever to cheat. God wants us to be faithful and He has given us the ability and capability to be faithful. God bless folks, let’s be the generation of men who say, it’s possible to be faithful to one woman till death and the women who can say it’s possible to be faithful to one man till death.

The art of making love Part 3

The art of making love Part 3

1. Breasts: The most erogenous spot on a woman’s body and also the one that causes the most impact on a man’s psyche are breasts (certainly, in competition with a pair of hot legs). Kiss the area above and under the breast softly. Don’t be in a rush to reach to the nipples. Eventually, you will reach there. Stimulation of breasts can set the mood for her to experience the big – O. Keep teasing the nipples in a soft manner. Ensure that she is enjoying (she must be). Spend quality time in kissing this nerve rich spot.

2. Back of the Knee: Yeah, back of the knee is an area for certain and instant arousal. She may find it ticklish at first, but have fun doing it. Cover her entire back of the leg and slowly move your finger on her calf and leg, tickle at her at the back of the knee.

3. The Back: Her back, well, is another area that can enhance arousal and give maximum pleasure. Give her a gentle rub down, gently massage between her shoulder blades kissing softly and passionately at intervals. Give her back some passionate kisses and the occasional nibble too.

4. The Stomach: A flat sexy stomach (ahh…) is certainly a loved spot to kiss and hence you can kiss her stomach all the way through navel. Kiss, kiss and kiss.

5. Fingers and forearms: Well, fingers are a way to communicate and holding her fingers in your hands, slowly caressing them and tickling it all through the forearms. Kiss her forearms and make her feel want more.

More foreplay tips include, massaging her body with good smelling oil, taking a shower together or applying oil on each other’s body. Once you are done with the foreplay part and remember the time limit is not fixed. It all depends on how long you want to carry the act and the intensity you want to build. Now, that foreplay is about to end, you can move on to the next stage.

Talking Dirty.

Talking dirty is another way to enhance sexual pleasure and is an important aspect of how to make love. Since you know her body, you must know what your piece-de resistance is). Some examples of dirty talking are, ‘baby, you smell so delicious, can I just take a bite of you.And then some more or ‘I love smelling you, sniffing your body…can I have it’. Or, you have no idea how much I want you, right now. It certainly is an erotic way to pep up things in the bedroom. Use dirty talking as an effective tool and don’t let the power of words go waste. They work at the right time, at the right place and at the right moment! And when you will say to her, all you wanted to say, if not in these moments of prime intimacy.

Give her oral sex.

In the endeavor to learn ‘how to make love to a woman’, you’ve got to learn oral sex. Oral sex for many couples is the best option to start love making. It depends on your comfort level. If your partner loves oral sex then you can, for sure entertain her. Oral sex enhances takes you to heights of pleasure before switching to the final act. Be slow in performing oral sex. Slowly lick the outer edges of her genital area and make enhance her pleasure. Once she is aroused, you can carry on the act of sucking and licking as long as she wants for it. For better orgasms, oral sex is certainly a great booster. With sweet, passionate and juicy kisses, you can really turn her on. Once she is aroused and stimulated to a level that she wants you…and I mean she really pulls you inside herself (practically), it’s a sign that you both should proceed for the finale.

The climax.

Now, that you both just want to be one with each other, you need to slowly begin the sexual intercourse. Men on top or the missionary position is certainly one of dominating love positions for men and it enhances the pleasure by giving her maximum sensation. When it comes to her turn, women on top is one of the oldest forms of sexual positions and in this case, since she is aware of her G-spot, she can easily experience a wonderful orgasm. And there are whole lot of things to try as your intimacy advances and you both become more aware about each other’s body. There are hundreds of sexual positions that couples can try as they graduate in their physical intimacy level.

Massage To all women.

How to make love to your husband or boyfriend? Ladies, if this question is on your mind, then you must ensure that you know some tips on how to turn a guy on before love making. It has to be understood that proper communication creates a great chemistry between lovers and so bringing each other in the mood becomes easier. So, the bottom line is to understand your partner. For those who’re seeking love making techniques for the first time, they must ensure that they’re ready for first time sex, both mentally and physically. Following safety precautions is important to safeguard sexual health and is an important aspect of how to make love for the first time.

Last but not the least, by now, you must be aware of how to make love to your partner. One important thing to understand is that love making is certainly a blissful experience and so when it ends, you certainly will feel different. Don’t miss this opportunity to tell your beloved how dear she is to you and how much you love her…to express more aptly..Cuddling and snuggling beside you, I’m lost, intoxicated by your smell, bewitching eyes and then some more. All I want is you and your love. As I hold you in these arms, I feel you so close and with these arms, I promise to hold you forever…"

This isn’t meant to be a formula, but foundationally, so that people can go into a world of discoveries too. Making love still remains scared and precious in the eyes of God, and thus we all should understand that it’s not proper to just go give our bodies to very man or woman we bump into. There are so many attachments’ to go along with it. The reason why we now have sugar daddies is because most men don’t eat well and this affects their sexual performances with their wives, and we also have women who have become sugar mums because their men can’t satisfy them anymore. But there is no excuse to all of this, women be very careful of what your man puts into his stomach, if you are to keep the fires burning between the sheets at home. There is no excuse in life absolutely, no excuse whatsoever to cheat. God wants us to be faithful and He has given us the ability and capability to be faithful. God bless folks, let’s be the generation of men who say, it’s possible to be faithful to one woman till death and the women who can say it’s possible to be faithful to one man till death.

The art of making love. Part 2

The art of making love. Part 2

Learning to master it.

There are myriads of ways to express our love towards our partner. Being physically intimate is one of the most important and much desired forms of love. Love making has certain dimensions associated to it. While quenching sexual thirst is a normal desire for all, being intimate and close to someone very special during love making is certainly, a deeper and much needed aspect. We all want to share our life and love with someone very close so that the bonding blossoms into a healthy relationship.

Hence, it’s important to learn the art of how to make love to your partner. As I said earlier on, that the body of a woman is like a musical instrument-If you pick up and play any musical instrument it produces sound which we then call music, whether it’s good or bad but sound comes after is has been played. But the quality of the sound-music is determined by the player, whether he or she is skilled or not. So don’t break the instrument or go get every instrument-woman, in the world to get quality sound-music. But earn how to play the instrument and take your time to learn the cords too. We were all not born skilled with skills of making love; it’s something we have all learnt along the way. As far as I am concerned something you can learn is something you can improve your skills continuously to become a better skilled person. Hold it good people, it’s not about jumping to bed with every woman or man who comes your way, love the one whom God gave to you.

Making love to a woman

Wondering how to make how to make love to your wife or girlfriend? Well, you may be aware about how to make love but may be you’re missing something more subtle. The whole idea of learning how to make out is to share a deep bonding to someone and if you want to increase the intensity of your physical intimacy to great heights, certainly express her that you want her and you love her. I mean, if you mean it from your heart, she will automatically understand it. Your eyes must speak the intensity and craving you’ve got for your beloved. And the golden rule is to keep an eye contact all the while through the act, till culmination. Now, let’s know the core parts of how to make love to a woman. These techniques will surely make her want more of you…

Kiss and pass the test. Kissing

It is just like a preliminary exam that will help you to gain further access to the main exam (her body). Your passionate kiss can determine the further intensity of your love making. And since there are variety of kissing techniques, positions and variety of kisses, you will be spoilt for choice (great guys, isn’t it?). You can kiss all over her body, every inch of her body, in fact. However, nothing is better to start with, than her soft lips. And when it comes to kissing her lips, why not try French kiss.

Wondering how to French kiss a girl? Well, French kissing is certainly one of the most passionate and enticing kisses and you’ve got to use it for maximum pleasure during foreplay. Don’t rush. Spend sufficient amount of time rubbing her upper lips softly (yeah, be soft, have patience). Gently, tug her lips between your lips, after you have licked her upper lips for some time. Besides lips, the area between chin and her throat is (aah…) certainly very sensual. Won’t you love brushing your lips there? You should, for sure. Then, try it. In fact, do it to master the tips of how to make love.

She needs more.

Okay the stage is set, you both are passionately kissing and the intensity is increasing. However, men don’t hurry to the final act immediately (patience, you know, is a prized virtue). Still, she needs more than kisses (and you’re ready to give her, great, go ahead). Don’t rush, that is the key to long lasting love making. You need to master more foreplay tips to make her feel more aroused. For those who want to know the secret of how make love whole night, they have to for sure, learn foreplay as a very effective tool to last longer. To enhance the pleasure, it’s worth learning various arousal tips. Since women are highly sensitive to touch, you’ve got to ensure you make her arouse by properly kissing the erogenous spots on her body. Wondering what are some of the most erogenous areas on her body? Know them here:

1. Face: You can certainly start by kissing her all over the face, gently. Another act you can do is to massage the area above her eyebrows with your thumbs, slowly and softly. She will love it. Try it out.

2. Ears: So you thought, ears have no use in love making? Well, they do have significant role to play. Researchers say, the rim of a woman’s ear is very sensitive. Why not touch or massage the rim of the ear and kiss it by gently caressing her back of the head with forefingers. Watch her feel more of you. And you can, you know, whisper in her ears, ‘honey, you’re beautiful’ or ‘ I want you more’.

3. Neck and Lips: These are the most soft spots on a woman’s body and so you can’t resist starting from them. Kiss her all aver the neck and lips and she would love every part of it.

4. Legs: Touch has a sensation. Tickle with your forefingers her thighs all the way to vagina but pull before you reach there (patience, again friends). Gentle kisses and touches work better. Since, she will love it, be careful to make it pleasurable. And guess, she will want more.

The art of making love. Part 2

The art of making love. Part 2

Learning to master it.

There are myriads of ways to express our love towards our partner. Being physically intimate is one of the most important and much desired forms of love. Love making has certain dimensions associated to it. While quenching sexual thirst is a normal desire for all, being intimate and close to someone very special during love making is certainly, a deeper and much needed aspect. We all want to share our life and love with someone very close so that the bonding blossoms into a healthy relationship.

Hence, it’s important to learn the art of how to make love to your partner. As I said earlier on, that the body of a woman is like a musical instrument-If you pick up and play any musical instrument it produces sound which we then call music, whether it’s good or bad but sound comes after is has been played. But the quality of the sound-music is determined by the player, whether he or she is skilled or not. So don’t break the instrument or go get every instrument-woman, in the world to get quality sound-music. But earn how to play the instrument and take your time to learn the cords too. We were all not born skilled with skills of making love; it’s something we have all learnt along the way. As far as I am concerned something you can learn is something you can improve your skills continuously to become a better skilled person. Hold it good people, it’s not about jumping to bed with every woman or man who comes your way, love the one whom God gave to you.

Making love to a woman

Wondering how to make how to make love to your wife or girlfriend? Well, you may be aware about how to make love but may be you’re missing something more subtle. The whole idea of learning how to make out is to share a deep bonding to someone and if you want to increase the intensity of your physical intimacy to great heights, certainly express her that you want her and you love her. I mean, if you mean it from your heart, she will automatically understand it. Your eyes must speak the intensity and craving you’ve got for your beloved. And the golden rule is to keep an eye contact all the while through the act, till culmination. Now, let’s know the core parts of how to make love to a woman. These techniques will surely make her want more of you…

Kiss and pass the test. Kissing

It is just like a preliminary exam that will help you to gain further access to the main exam (her body). Your passionate kiss can determine the further intensity of your love making. And since there are variety of kissing techniques, positions and variety of kisses, you will be spoilt for choice (great guys, isn’t it?). You can kiss all over her body, every inch of her body, in fact. However, nothing is better to start with, than her soft lips. And when it comes to kissing her lips, why not try French kiss.

Wondering how to French kiss a girl? Well, French kissing is certainly one of the most passionate and enticing kisses and you’ve got to use it for maximum pleasure during foreplay. Don’t rush. Spend sufficient amount of time rubbing her upper lips softly (yeah, be soft, have patience). Gently, tug her lips between your lips, after you have licked her upper lips for some time. Besides lips, the area between chin and her throat is (aah…) certainly very sensual. Won’t you love brushing your lips there? You should, for sure. Then, try it. In fact, do it to master the tips of how to make love.

She needs more.

Okay the stage is set, you both are passionately kissing and the intensity is increasing. However, men don’t hurry to the final act immediately (patience, you know, is a prized virtue). Still, she needs more than kisses (and you’re ready to give her, great, go ahead). Don’t rush, that is the key to long lasting love making. You need to master more foreplay tips to make her feel more aroused. For those who want to know the secret of how make love whole night, they have to for sure, learn foreplay as a very effective tool to last longer. To enhance the pleasure, it’s worth learning various arousal tips. Since women are highly sensitive to touch, you’ve got to ensure you make her arouse by properly kissing the erogenous spots on her body. Wondering what are some of the most erogenous areas on her body? Know them here:

1. Face: You can certainly start by kissing her all over the face, gently. Another act you can do is to massage the area above her eyebrows with your thumbs, slowly and softly. She will love it. Try it out.

2. Ears: So you thought, ears have no use in love making? Well, they do have significant role to play. Researchers say, the rim of a woman’s ear is very sensitive. Why not touch or massage the rim of the ear and kiss it by gently caressing her back of the head with forefingers. Watch her feel more of you. And you can, you know, whisper in her ears, ‘honey, you’re beautiful’ or ‘ I want you more’.

3. Neck and Lips: These are the most soft spots on a woman’s body and so you can’t resist starting from them. Kiss her all aver the neck and lips and she would love every part of it.

4. Legs: Touch has a sensation. Tickle with your forefingers her thighs all the way to vagina but pull before you reach there (patience, again friends). Gentle kisses and touches work better. Since, she will love it, be careful to make it pleasurable. And guess, she will want more.

The art of making love. Part 1

The art of making love. Part 1

By Herbert Mtowo.

Love making is one of the forms of expressing deep love and longing for your partner. Know more about some tips on how to make love, through this write up. This is a topic many aren’t comfortable to write or talk about lets you are labeled as a player. But from a writing and counseling point of view, in talking to my many friends I have realized that there is need to have more spoken or discussed about this topic. But being labeled or not, am just doing my apart to open our eyes and write about things we call taboo in society today, but 99.9% of marriages have been destroyed because of sex, money ,communication and other many factors, but these three being chief reasons why marriages are breaking.

I don’t know about you, but this I have found out, very few people are keen to openly talk about love making to people of the same sex ,or opposite sex be their friends or lovers, I think because of the taboos surrounding the word making love. In m any languages and cultures the young have since got some new words, street lingo, that enable them to talk about making love freely without feeling bad about it or being labeled. Others would demonize you if you write about this topic, others would think you are a sex maniac, others would call you a player, and neither am I a sex Doctor or therapist, but this issue needs urgent attention. I am one who believes people can abstain, be faithful all the way till death, so please hear me as I write this one.

God and sexual intimacy

Our generation has too many challenges around this topic of making love, no wonder why Jesus called this an adulterous generation. “Happily” married, but you find couples still cheating on each other sexually? Sad though our generation has cheapened and commercialized making love like vegetables being sold at an open market. We all have sexual needs, but we also don’t need to jump to bed with every Tom and Harry just to have a fix or sexual fulfillment, nah we don’t need to. I am yet to know of a man or woman pronounced dead, despite the justifications that both men and women give about the cheating s going on around us today.

God knows we all have sexual needs, and he wants them fulfilled too, but not with everybody who comes our way. Sexual intimacy in the eyes of God remains very special and sacred too, but only if done in the confines of faithfulness and love not just as sexual satisfaction. We don’t really need sexual intimacy resumes to be able to enjoy it, just being faithful to one partner and abstain if you don’t have nobody until you get one is the key. The many experiences we gather along the way to build our sexual resumes are actually the major reasons for cheating, because you have too many comparisons to make and that’s a bomb waiting to explode in your face.

Finding out.

I am grown up adult now, but I don’t remember one single day when my dad or brothers talked to me to prepare me for this way of adult hood. All my mom and dad would always say to me was,” Don’t play with girls,.” Our sexual experiences come in different ways but what I have discovered is that most of us just find out about how to make love without enough knowledge and information. I grew up being told kids are bought from a hospital, and when I became a teenager, I would see my dad and mom going to their bedroom, and leave us watching TV, then because of the biology subjects in high school; I knew that, they were going to enjoy themselves. But that I never opened up to talk about it even to my own brothers, or friends, such is the secrecy around this topic.

My going to church and growing up being a Sunday school pupil, didn’t give me much grounding too. I then discovered that over the years there is so much information being stuffed away from people and lack of knowledge ends up hurting or destroying many relationships. We don’t need to watch porno to improve our sexual performances, the mind is extremely creative when it comes to sexual intercourse it should be left to explore and go on a discovery journey of itself. God who designed this sacred thing called making love, left the creativity to our minds and explore the body.

World of discovery

The foods we eat, our life styles all contribute to our sexual lives, and everybody claims to b e an expert even when they don’t know jack what this is all about. To most men the foods we eat do contribute to our sexual performance, in the City Press of South Africa last year, it brought up this topic, that most women interviewed in South Africa would want to make love a minimum of three times a week, and in all the times not less than twenty minutes of quality sexual intercourse (this am not including the four play times, nah just the men inside a woman).Sad to say most men can’t even last three minutes of quality making love, mainly because of the foods that most men eat and their life styles too. These things they interest me not that sexual intercourse is the most important topic to me, but it’s something calling us to a wakeup call, what with this HIV/AIDS pandemic, and that my job day in and day out as a consultant. The ignorance around this topic baffles my mind.

I have always said that the body of a woman is like a musical instrument, something I discovered now that I became an adult, and being the creative and wanting to find out person that I am. It is silly to want to enjoy lasting and quality sexual intercourse with your life long partner, without you having clear cut knowledge about their bodies. The human body I have found out is the most fascinating piece of art that can have us stand in awe and wonder and still want to just marvel at the creation of God`s piece of art and genius.

The art of making love. Part 1

The art of making love. Part 1

By Herbert Mtowo.

Love making is one of the forms of expressing deep love and longing for your partner. Know more about some tips on how to make love, through this write up. This is a topic many aren’t comfortable to write or talk about lets you are labeled as a player. But from a writing and counseling point of view, in talking to my many friends I have realized that there is need to have more spoken or discussed about this topic. But being labeled or not, am just doing my apart to open our eyes and write about things we call taboo in society today, but 99.9% of marriages have been destroyed because of sex, money ,communication and other many factors, but these three being chief reasons why marriages are breaking.

I don’t know about you, but this I have found out, very few people are keen to openly talk about love making to people of the same sex ,or opposite sex be their friends or lovers, I think because of the taboos surrounding the word making love. In m any languages and cultures the young have since got some new words, street lingo, that enable them to talk about making love freely without feeling bad about it or being labeled. Others would demonize you if you write about this topic, others would think you are a sex maniac, others would call you a player, and neither am I a sex Doctor or therapist, but this issue needs urgent attention. I am one who believes people can abstain, be faithful all the way till death, so please hear me as I write this one.

God and sexual intimacy

Our generation has too many challenges around this topic of making love, no wonder why Jesus called this an adulterous generation. “Happily” married, but you find couples still cheating on each other sexually? Sad though our generation has cheapened and commercialized making love like vegetables being sold at an open market. We all have sexual needs, but we also don’t need to jump to bed with every Tom and Harry just to have a fix or sexual fulfillment, nah we don’t need to. I am yet to know of a man or woman pronounced dead, despite the justifications that both men and women give about the cheating s going on around us today.

God knows we all have sexual needs, and he wants them fulfilled too, but not with everybody who comes our way. Sexual intimacy in the eyes of God remains very special and sacred too, but only if done in the confines of faithfulness and love not just as sexual satisfaction. We don’t really need sexual intimacy resumes to be able to enjoy it, just being faithful to one partner and abstain if you don’t have nobody until you get one is the key. The many experiences we gather along the way to build our sexual resumes are actually the major reasons for cheating, because you have too many comparisons to make and that’s a bomb waiting to explode in your face.

Finding out.

I am grown up adult now, but I don’t remember one single day when my dad or brothers talked to me to prepare me for this way of adult hood. All my mom and dad would always say to me was,” Don’t play with girls,.” Our sexual experiences come in different ways but what I have discovered is that most of us just find out about how to make love without enough knowledge and information. I grew up being told kids are bought from a hospital, and when I became a teenager, I would see my dad and mom going to their bedroom, and leave us watching TV, then because of the biology subjects in high school; I knew that, they were going to enjoy themselves. But that I never opened up to talk about it even to my own brothers, or friends, such is the secrecy around this topic.

My going to church and growing up being a Sunday school pupil, didn’t give me much grounding too. I then discovered that over the years there is so much information being stuffed away from people and lack of knowledge ends up hurting or destroying many relationships. We don’t need to watch porno to improve our sexual performances, the mind is extremely creative when it comes to sexual intercourse it should be left to explore and go on a discovery journey of itself. God who designed this sacred thing called making love, left the creativity to our minds and explore the body.

World of discovery

The foods we eat, our life styles all contribute to our sexual lives, and everybody claims to b e an expert even when they don’t know jack what this is all about. To most men the foods we eat do contribute to our sexual performance, in the City Press of South Africa last year, it brought up this topic, that most women interviewed in South Africa would want to make love a minimum of three times a week, and in all the times not less than twenty minutes of quality sexual intercourse (this am not including the four play times, nah just the men inside a woman).Sad to say most men can’t even last three minutes of quality making love, mainly because of the foods that most men eat and their life styles too. These things they interest me not that sexual intercourse is the most important topic to me, but it’s something calling us to a wakeup call, what with this HIV/AIDS pandemic, and that my job day in and day out as a consultant. The ignorance around this topic baffles my mind.

I have always said that the body of a woman is like a musical instrument, something I discovered now that I became an adult, and being the creative and wanting to find out person that I am. It is silly to want to enjoy lasting and quality sexual intercourse with your life long partner, without you having clear cut knowledge about their bodies. The human body I have found out is the most fascinating piece of art that can have us stand in awe and wonder and still want to just marvel at the creation of God`s piece of art and genius.

The paralysis of betrayal

The Paralysis of Betrayal

By Namaste.

Last October, I discovered that my boyfriend had been cheating on me with another woman. Our story is complicated. We were married young, had a daughter and then were separated for eighteen years. So, after we were reunited, I thought that we both were committed for the rest of our lives, having gone through so much pain during the years we were apart.

The details are unimportant. If you are interested, then you can read through the rest of this blog for the juicy details. Start way back in October and you can read me flailing about trying to not fall down the deep hole of betrayal.

Betrayal has made me feel like shit. Betrayal has made me feel discarded. Betrayal, his betrayal, has made me feel like yesterday’s lunch. The experience of betrayal has made me distrustful of the universe. It has made me feel unwanted and useless. I have felt deceived, tricked and made a fool of. He cuckolded me. I have spent the past seven months cataloguing the emotions I have experienced through circling through the extended grief cycle of shock, denial, bargaining, anger and acceptance.

It was the worst long winter of my life. That was my thought, when it first happened, was trepidation about this shock, this trauma right before the onset of a northern New England winter. No, it can’t be. But it was. And it was, and it was, and it was.

I feel now like I’ve been in a train wreck and I’m trying to get up. I’m trying to stand. My legs are wobbly. I am weak. It is the loss of youth, of health, of strength. I am not the same person. This shock, this trauma, this betrayal has paralyzed me. Not just emotionally but physically. It is as if I have stopped and now I have to get up and start moving again. It was the asthma which came from the trauma which stopped me. I pretty much collapsed. I’m not sure how I got through the winter, or how I went to work every day. How did I buy the food? Feed the kids? Pay the bills? In between it all, I just went to bed and curled up in the fetal position and coughed and coughed and coughed.

I was paralyzed but I am trying to get up. I am so mad about what he’s done to me. Why couldn’t he have stayed away, after eighteen years? Why didn’t he just leave me alone?

But I know the answer now, which I did not know last fall. It is simply this; he is still selfish and irresponsible. These have become his main character traits.

So pray for me, please, as I try to arise and walk again.

The Tough task of Healing after betrayal

The tough task of healing after betrayal

By Joshua Coleman.

When faced with a barrage of information about a marriage that has collapsed publicly, like that of Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver, it’s easy to preach about what we would or wouldn’t do in such a situation, or what somebody else should or shouldn’t do.

The reality is that, as with so much in life, we don’t know what we’d do if it happened to us. And we’re in no position to judge another person’s marriage.

When Hillary Clinton had to go through the public humiliation of her husband’s affairs, the common wisdom appeared to be that she was a patsy to stay with him — or stayed only to ensure her political future.

Perhaps one of those views is true. There are many reasons why people stay in marriages they might otherwise leave. It may also be that she loved her husband or her daughter enough to endure her family’s humiliation, and is glad that she did.

Maria Shriver talks about her marriage

Reporter recounts earlier scandal

Men behaving badly

New details on Schwarzenegger’s son

Regardless of reasons, there are several important ingredients necessary to heal a serious betrayal in marriage.

One of the most critical factors is that the person who lied, cheated or betrayed has to want to change, be able to change and be willing to withstand the guilt, remorse and shame evoked by witnessing the suffering brought on by the behavior. The person also has to know that this is a process that will take a few years, not a few months, to heal.

Affairs, particularly those involving the revelation of a child fathered outside the marriage, remove the veil of trust that we all need to function in life, to place confidence in our perceptions and to be vulnerable. That trust isn’t quickly replaced.

Betrayed partners must also be driven by some powerful motivation to forgive or consider forgiving the cheating partner, such as still believing in the partner despite the enormity of the hurt, or not wanting to put themselves or their children through a divorce.

In my clinical work, I have been impressed by some people’s ability to very clearly set limits and walk away from a marriage in which the other person was either unwilling or incapable of change. I could easily imagine Shriver saying that her husband’s actions are beyond forgivable.

I have also been impressed by the strength of some to stand up for their marriage, despite feeling deeply hurt or betrayed, and have seen their spouse benefit from that commitment and modeling of love, dedication and courage.

Assuming the partner is worth forgiving, or worth the consideration of forgiving, the betrayed partner has to have the psychological reserves to do so.

And not everyone does. People who have experienced a series of betrayals in their lives, such as those who were profoundly rejected or neglected as children, sometimes don’t have the resilience to see their partner as a flawed, though potentially redeemable, human being. For them, an affair or other serious betrayal sounds an alarm that brings forth a cascade of painful childhood memories of helplessness and hopelessness or feelings of unlovability.

For such a person, learning to love and to trust a spouse enough to get married was a psychological achievement all by itself — a triumph of love over fear; a feat built on a foundation that required an ongoing effort to address the constant welling up of childhood memories warning against the folly of trust.

Part of what’s tricky for parents whose marriages have been rocked in this way is finding the ability to separate out a healthy need to protect oneself from a partner who may well be too selfish or self-destructive to remain close to, and the desire to protect the children from that parent’s character flaws.

Yet many people are terrible spouses but decent parents. Barring a history of parental abuse or severe neglect, a parent should let her children discover the other parent’s flaws for themselves.

And there is another child’s well-being that everyone should consider: the son that Schwarzenegger fathered with their family’s housekeeper.

When Shriver was campaigning for her husband in 2003, she described him in the following way: "He’s honest, he’s sensitive, and he’s sincere. And he is gracious with every bone in his body."

Let’s hope that she is still able to find those qualities in her husband. While she’ll never forget, she may be able to eventually forgive him, which is better for her serenity — and for all of the children, who still need their father.