Hunter Hunted! [Women expert men hunters]

 

 

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By Herbert Mtowo

A couple of weeks ago, I sat to have breakfast with a young lovely successful and intelligent woman. We spoke about so many things that relate to day today life`s experiences. This topic was born out of my breakfast meeting with this woman. Being the attentive listener that I am, I am forever grateful for the breakfast meeting talk in the confines of her home. After reading this article a lot of you men out there you will realize, we aren’t the hunters, but we are trying to hunt the great hunters of our time. And most women will concur with me, its you made the move, but would just allow us to feel big as if we made the move yet in reality you were the ones who are expertly hunted for us. We are all used to this talk,” Men are hunters. Women are responders.” But after my breakfast talk with this young lovely woman, I beg to differ and agree with her and say,” Women great hunters hunted”

A man is born strong and competent. He has great emotional fulfillment as he pursues a woman because success shows his competency. A woman is however born beautiful to attract men. The natural order is that it is men who hunt for women. My talk with to this social scientist had me wondering when she said,” Herbert, look at the animal kingdom, it’s always the women who goes hunting for food for the young ones, when she is on heat, to mate she cunningly makes her availability to the opposite sex.” Great predators of our time aren’t man but women. If a woman has no interest in you at all and doesn’t lure you, you won`t have a chance of winning her heart. The bible is full of many examples of women on the prowl and pouncing on their victims with skill and ease.

Today however it appears that there is, more and more women hunting for men. Yet this has been the case from time immemorial. The talk about women equality and empowerment has gingered women on. After all, “body no be fire wood”. Everyone needs love because that is how we are made. When a woman goes for hunting, her scheming is so subtle and deceptive that in the end, she makes the man hunt for her. Let’s face it: men (in the minds of women) are basically slugs. We can’t really help it, despite best efforts. There is innate programming in most men, making communications with women difficult, which probably predates Neolithic history. This lack of communicative capabilities can be slightly improved, but in the end, men and women have communications and behavioral differences that are not bridged very easily.

Hunted-hunter’s choice

A woman looks at the way you carry yourself, especially your self-confidence. You must take good care of yourself, including things like what you wear; belt, shoes and hairstyle which many men do not pay particular attention to. She looks at your attitude in general. You must know how to take charge and handle difficult situations wisely without giving up because security is important to women. A woman will look for integrity. If you talk of wanting to marry but do nothing, it shows you are not serious, most women will avoid you. She expects loyalty. She must feel you will not have her just for your personal benefit like sex or be nice to her only when you want something from her. She also expects you will not be afraid to share your fears and concerns. A woman loves a man with a good sense of humor. You must be able to cheer her up even in difficult situations by looking at the lighter side of life. Fun is extremely important in relationships because it has many emotional, mental and physical benefits. A woman looks for a man who has the ability to provide for her future needs. Women see money as a medium of security. She must be sure there is enough for her basic needs.

There are more hunters on the loose.

Psychologists believe that as we grow up, we develop a “love man”, which are images of people we admire like our parents, into our sub-conscious mind. This may explain why sometimes you meet someone and you feel you have known him. Some call it love at first sight. There has never been a demand for men and not just men but real man than in our generation. Believe you me there are more women out there on the prowl than ever before. I meet women in their twenties, thirties, fifties even sixties on the prowl for thee man of their heart. In churches, at work places, amongst family members’ the talk on marriage or getting a man has become the real talk all over the world. That’s why there are more and more women on the hunt and they will increase by each day.

Hunt experts of our generation-Women.

She finds a way to get your attention. She puts her best foot forward in dressing, regular greetings or sitting close to you at social functions. She may ask you to do simple tasks, including asking for a lift. Some send text messages on festive days. Some send gifts. Once she strikes acquaintance, she finds time to get in touch just to talk. Soon you may become good friends. Then she expects you to propose. If that is not happening, she puts in coated questions like “how do you feel about me?” or “where is our friendship going?” She turns the tables on the man who then proposes. She may intentionally express surprise and even some hesitation. Some call it “woman do”. She makes you believe you hunted her when in fact it was her idea from day one.

Should a woman hunt?

This is the 21st century when men match women in every human activity. There are far more eligible women than men. The relationship market has become very competitive. If you just sit expecting someone to come, time may pass by you and you will be no match for the younger and more beautiful girls. Time to get involved is now. The only way to play the game is to get to the field. If you find a man you admire and not taken, go after him and pursue him relentlessly.

When a woman goes shopping, whether for food or fashion accessories, she spends more time typically within the retail (forest) experience. Stores innately understand this difference. Most retail stores or even supermarkets have an abundance of visual stimuli. When a woman goes shopping, it’s a total sensory experience. When a man shops, it’s a singular task or goal that needs to be accomplished. The woman goes to a store and typically looks at everything, examining quality colors, textures, etc. When a woman makes a choice for man she takes her time and makes sure, she has got a her ideal man, and that’s why shopping is an experience. When a man goes “shopping” he is out to “kill” a shirt, a pair of shoes or get a six pack of beer, often making more than one trip to buy whatever he thinks he needs. Shopping for a man is a task as much as getting the ideal woman. But for the skilled hunter expert woman of today, she lies eyes wide open checking on whom to pounce on.

 

Make the choice than be chosen.

It is better to try and fail than to live the rest of your life regretting about your failure to get your heart’s desire. Put aside your ego and traditional norms. Hunt for your heart’s desire. You will be glad you did. Perhaps, men have not advanced as far as women in modern society. Or perhaps women are unrealistic in their expectations of what a relationship between men and women is supposed to be. In any event, the battle of the sexes continues. Welcome to the animal kingdom ladies and gentlemen. You either get the ideal choice or you get the jungle`s left spoils. To all men out there get it right you were the one who was hunted and not the other way round.

Bigger picture

We live in a quick-fix society, bottom line. Nobody wants to put in the work to fix what is wrong with their lives anymore. We take diet pills to lose weight, get plastic surgery to change our appearance, and in general, take as many shortcuts as possible to find happiness. Divorce may be the most common shortcut of all, yet most women fail to recognize that it is in fact, a shortcut. I think that divorce is even worse than that. In most cases, divorce is a blatant escape mechanism, a convenient out to evade the pain of a relationship audit. A relationship audit is a great tool to improve your rapport with your mate. Think about it, you can either learn how to be a better partner to your significant other through trial and error, or you can take control now and pinpoint crucial flaws that demand correction. The tools on women hunting women are effective because they shed light on the aspects of relationships that women need to master in order to achieve stability and relative contentment with their mate.

 

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The only hope for the African Continent

| Africa By Ozias Mucheriwa

When people comment about the development and lack of it on the African continent, there is a lot of surmising that goes into it. Some claim that Africa is done a disservice by its thugs in power, dictators, and crooks and use all such words with pejorative connotations. I beg to disagree and will try to argue arguably. History has always been repeating itself with clockwork regularity. From the biblical times until now, the way history is unfolding has always been the same. The children of Israel, as they are popularly known have been in bondage in Egypt for four hundred years. God wanted to deliver them and finally found a Moses to do the job. They were liberated overnight but did not enter into Canaan the same night. There was a reason for this: There was a major challenge that God faced and had to contend with before getting them into the Promised Land. He risked making them their own masters without them being conscious of it, otherwise they would be masters with a slave mentality and that is a very dangerous thing- worse that slavery itself. He had to change their belief system; to transform their slave mentality into that of independent people who understand that they are masters of their own destiny. That is no simple transition. It took them forty years languishing in the wilderness, unfortunately resulting in most of them failing to make it to the land flowing with milk and honey. The first challenge was to liberate them from physical bondage but the herculean task was to take bondage out of their minds. Yes, they were out of Egypt but Egypt was still in them. The slave mentality says that nothing belongs to you, you are just a slave and one day you shall be replaced. When you handle property you need to see an inscription which says, “Handle with care.” Without that or even looking at it, one breaks the door handles. In government buildings throughout many African states, elevators, toilets and many systems are no longer functional. There is a reason: slave mentality says, ”this is not our property.” Many people who have queued in government institutions for service can attest to this fact; they are treated as if they insisted on being born, contrary to the dictates of reason, religion and morality as Charles Dickens aptly put it. The same civil servant who mistreats people queuing for passports will leave work and queue for a lift home and will also be disrespected by the commuter crow. The cycle goes on. Wake up Africa we are kings in our territory! When people are imprisoned they automatically abdicate responsibility. The state takes care of everything. They need not worry about what to wear or eat. They are not concerned about the fashions trends or school fees. Their preoccupation is just to get back their freedom. What most of them forget is that once they are out of jail, food will not longer be served at the stipulated time, blankets will not just be available. It will be a different game altogether. It will be time to pull up the sleeves and get busy. You can only start exercising responsibility when you move from bondage and regrettably many people when they move from bondage want to continue with irresponsibility and carefree kind of living. That has been the challenge with our continent. Corruption is rife, the thinking is skewed, and everything is about an individual; me, myself and I. No matter how good a plan or development program can be, as long as it does not suit me and my personal ambitions, it is not good enough. It is a thinking pattern that has been adopted in slavery since we needed not be responsible for anything, our task masters took the responsibility of putting up infrastructure, building schools and hospitals. Now when we got the freedom we are never used to that kind of thinking, what we only want is making use of and enjoying the systems. When you say that you want freedom you should be prepared to work even harder than you did for Egypt. The Israelites were working under the brutal supervision of Pharaoh, making brick without straw. They were exposed to oppression of the highest order. When they get into a land of freedom they cannot continue to work that way as that will be tantamount to a perpetuation of oppression to their fellow men. New ways to work smarter, efficiently and effectively have to be devised. The way you worked for the slave masters will no longer be viable because it was ruthless and you cannot implement it on your fellow citizens. It therefore becomes imperative to unlearn the thinking of Egypt, of irresponsibility and get a new set of brains that can tackle the future. Thinking in terms of development and not the past. God tried to alter the mindset of the people who came from bondage but unfortunately that was not to be so until he decided to go for their offspring who had a new thinking to enter the Promised Land. You cannot instantly move from deliverance to freedom. Freedom comes with its most invariable concomitant- responsibility. The two always work hand in glove. We have many orphans and street kids in the African continent. This is mainly contributed by adults who have the freedom to procreate but lack responsibility. Because the freedom came with a price does not mean responsibility has to be subordinated. When we exercise our freedom to have children let it come with the responsibility to take care of them. In bondage there is no responsibility but in freedom there is much of it. When people are released from jail they need to go through a process of shaking off the flair of oppression before they start experiencing freedom. That is also why some do acts that will send them back to jail. Sometimes the freedom is overwhelming to the extent that they cannot handle it. Responsibility translates to hard work. With freedom you have to work hard to maintain your freedom and you maintain your freedom by self-sufficiency. The children of Israel were led into bondage because of dependency for sustenance. As long as you are not self-reliant you will gravitate towards dependency. It is said that no armies or militias of the world are as strong as an idea whose time has come. In the same vein, no armies or militias are as destructive as freedom without responsibility. There is nothing as destructive as people in power with no iota of responsibility in their system. Imagine a soldier wielding an AK-47 rifle and lose his sense of responsibility? His weapon for protection can instantly be turned into a destructive agent. That is what freedom without responsibility is capable of doing to a continent. A father who only has a sense that he is the sole authority in house but lacks a responsible mind can ruin the family set up buy abusing his wife and kids. A bondage mindset cannot be ridden overnight. It calls for a conscious decision for one to acknowledge that they are from a bondage environment and take action to break the thinking pattern. When most of the African leaders got into power they had not been taught responsibility and we blame them for all of that but I want to believe that if any one of us had had the same opportunity we could probably do worse. The onus is now on us to start teaching our children responsibility. Teaching them that when you get five dollars you do just think of spending it all on sweets but there is a thing coming that is called tomorrow and when that comes it needs to find you prepared. If it finds you prepared you will enjoy yourself in it. If you do not prepare for it you start blaming everybody for your demise when the raw deal is that you acted irresponsibly when you had the time. Why were you born in Africa? Why was I born in this rich continent? This is now my personal belief; I believe that I was born in this continent probably to contribute towards its development and therefore need to find my voice and you need to find yours and together we can make a difference in our continent.

Guard against Vision Killers .

By Ozias Mucheriwa

When you dream, when you conceive and idea, many times you wish others would understand you and how you intend to fulfill your dream but more often than not it is not so. You even try to appeal to their nobler motives but they still do not get you. How can they understand your vision when they did not participate in its conception? There are three challenges to ideas that anyone who will dare to dream is sure to encounter: 1. You can talk yourself out of your idea. Sometimes when destiny calls, you can be too scared to heed the call and try to talk and convince yourself out of it. This can partly be ascribed to the fear of success. You cannot imagine yourself in an extremely successful position such that you just feel good talking yourself out of it. This lesson can be drawn from Margaret Thatcher. On 26 October 1969 she asserted that no woman would be Prime Minister in her lifetime. In fact let me quote her exact words, “It will be years – not in my time – before a woman will become Prime Minister.” I need not mention that she became one in 1979 and served three terms. One thing you have to realize is that when you talk yourself out, you inadvertently talk others out as well who look up to you for inspiration. I am sure when Margaret Thatcher issued her statement many ladies aspiring for the same political office had their hopes shuttered because of who had confessed the impossibility. 2. Great achievers can talk you out of your idea We are usually made to think that critics are mainly non-achievers. Far from it. It is not only under performers that criticize other people’s ideas and shoot them down. In fact the criticism of under achievers is not as treacherous as that of great people. You can easily dismiss them by critically looking at what they themselves have achieved and if there is nothing noteworthy, their criticism can be easy to disregard like a discarded orange peel. It is when the criticism comes from those who are considered to be thinkers and achievers that real discouragement and vision killing can take effect. Thomas Edison, one of the most prolific inventors said about an airplane, “It is apparent to me that the possibilities of the aeroplane, which two or three years ago were thought to hold the solution to the problem, have been exhausted, and that we must turn elsewhere.” That was in 1895. In 1903 the first airplane took off the ground. On the other hand, he was also nearly talked off his idea of the light bulb by the president of The Stevens Institute of Technology, Henry Morton who confidently asserted, “Everyone acquainted with the subject will recognize it as a conspicuous failure.” This was the president of the institute of technology, more learned than Edison but his assertion proved it to be false when the light bulb, contrary to his belief, became an extraordinary success. 3. Competitors can talk you out of your idea. Your competitors can quickly write you off when they perceive a threat. Sometimes they may underestimate your capabilities and not consider you a threat or a business worth mentioning-writing you off in the process. When the Japanese motor industry started penetrating the North American industry in the early 1960s the industry giants did not consider them a threat at all. In 1962 the Japanese market share was less than four percent. In 1967 it was below ten percent. By 1974 it was just under fifteen percent and the industry began to perceive a threat. As we approached the 1980s the Japanese share of the market had risen to twenty one percent. By 1990 it was approaching twenty five percent and by 2005 it was sitting close to forty percent. Now, contrast this achievement with the prediction of the Business Week in the 1960s, “With over fifteen types of foreign cars already on sale here, the Japanese auto industry isn’t likely to carve out a big share of the market for itself.” Of course not all critics are obnoxious to your vision. It is when they push you towards abandoning your vision do they become dangerous. The three examples cited above, were not after perfecting the ideas but were bent on completely muzzling the pursuit of visions. That becomes retrogressive. You need to be extremely balanced. How do you manage to do that? Anticipate and prepare for change We are now living in a world where change is the order of the day. If you want to transmute your idea into reality, make it a point to revisit your strategy more frequently. Depending on the type of project you want to implement, at least once every month take time to sit down and reevaluate your strategy in line with the changing landscape. Sticking old strategies can be a prescription for disaster and your competitors can eat you up for breakfast. This happens many a time. While you are still thinking that your strategy is the best, new and better methods are coming in and before you realize it you are trailing behind the pack. Remember, the best skill to learn is the skill of learning new skills. In 2004 the Nigerian government banned the importation of furniture, giving practically no notice. Nigerian custom furniture mogul Ibukun Awosika feared the ban would destroy her business, which at the time depended on overseas manufacturers. Her company approached a key supplier, office furniture maker SOKOA S.A. of France, with the idea of a joint venture to produce chairs in Nigeria. With an investment of nearly $200 million, the gamble paid off in about a year. Do your homework. I usually say that proper prior preparation precedes peak performance. Prepare all the groundwork necessary to see your dream fulfilled. Do not underestimate challenges. Do not overrate difficulties. Be as realistic as possible. We call it being realistically optimistic. When Toyota wanted to venture into manufacturing of luxury vehicles for the US market, its research team was sent to live luxuriously and learn the tastes and preferences of their prospective customers. They lived in Laguna Beach, California for several months just to get an appreciation of what their customers wanted. US$1billion was invested in the project and out of this the powerful Lexus LS400 was born. Needless to say, the venture was a considerable success. If you develop the habit of preparing for any task at hand you are guaranteed to swim upstream all your life. Align yourself with people whose thinking is compatible with yours. Bob Proctor recommends becoming part of a Master Mind grouping. You may not be in the same field of endeavor but if your thinking is compatible you sharpen and encourage each other. Whenever you encounter criticism insist on a close scrutiny to see if there is no merit in that criticism. If there is, take steps to amend but if the intention is for you to abandon your vision remind yourself that they did not contribute to the conception of the idea hence should not talk you out of your destiny. Go ahead and implement leaving them for their three-course meal; humble pie their own words, and crow. To Your Zenith Ozias Mucheriwa Chairman-Motivcenter

My passion

By Herbert Mtowo

That I am an avid and passionate writer is not a secret at all, but this what I am, my world revolves around words, imaginations and creativity. I always say to fellow writers that if there’s a book you really want to read, but it hasn’t been written yet, then you must write it yourself.

The recent developments in Europe about the closure of News of the World and the phone hacking that have been going on has really not done the print and electronic Medias any good. But far from the negative the written word and spoken word still remains very influential by far and large into many many generations to come. All that we have is because somebody decided to document their words into written manuals and electronic documents. That’s what we are purposed to do for as long as we are on this great planet, to inspire, motivate, inform, educate through the power of the written and spoken word. Thank yah`all for the support, the feed backs and all the encouragements that you send to us. We are forever grateful to you and God Almighty who gives us the ability and power to write.

I’m not just a very good writer, but I’m an excellent writer and my life revolves around words and this is my passion. I am not motivated to speak as a public speaker because of money or rewards, neither the accolades that go along with it, but am just humbled seeing lives being transformed, inspired, revived, the feedback’s i and we get are astonishing and humbling, I have made friends through this and this is my joy and happiness.  Writing is not a job description. A great deal of it is passion. Don’t do it if you are not a gambler because a lot of people devote many years of their lives to it (for little reward). I think people become writers because they are compulsive wordsmiths.”  As a writer you must keep sending work out; you must never let a manuscript do nothing but eat its head off in a drawer. You send that work out again and again, while you’re working on another one. If you have talent, you will receive some measure of success – but only if you persist.

If only our great thinkers could learn to talk, and our great talkers could learn to think and write this world would be a better world and if the entire population would have an appetite for reading like a starved lion. So much of that which we don’t know is always available, but this generation doesn’t really enjoy digging for information. That’s why it is stated that education is Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire. My desire and goal is to prepare kids and all to be great thinkers and have a great set of core base knowledge so they can go forward and reach out for their dreams without any fear of failure and refusing to be limited by circumstances.

It’s a tiring and energy supping work but what keeps me going is the joy of impacting generations and seeing people`s live taken to another level. Our world is a result of what somebody wrote, thought about and relentlessly researched on that and pursued it until they made sure this is it. Writing isn’t for the faint hearted, it just doesn’t required skill as much as it is important, it requires dedication, commitment, devotion and most great writers know that that silence experiences birth great inspiring articles. No wonder why great writer like the great Apostle Paul of bible times, the Physician Luke, wrote some of their most powerful letters and writings’ in solitary confinements, what about our own Nelson Mandela, wrote Long Walk to Freedom at Robin Island, though only released years later.

This you will know. Writers read a lot… and write a lot. Feed your passion whatever it may be it benefits the whole world and many generations to come. Don’t starve it feed it well.

Be there for other people.


By Ed Robinson

The secret to happiness has always been through giving not getting.  There are few things more important than being there for other people in your life when they need you.  Life can be a hard at times.   At some point, everyone will need a shoulder to lean on, someone they can confide in and maybe even a helping hand.  Sadly, many of us suppress our feelings and resist asking for help because we are worried by how it will be perceived by others rather than finding strength through them.

I’ve always believed you get a true sense of a person when they are managing through adversity rather than riding the wave of good fortune.   It’s easy to put on a happy face when things are going well.  However, some people do seem to get an inflated sense of self and become too judgmental of others when things go their way.  When you are down on your luck it becomes much easier to get a sense of your own vulnerability.  We are all human and human beings need respect, love and support.  “No man is an island.”

Instead of narrowing your circle I encourage you to broaden the number of people in your life you care about.  Rather than spending too much of your times worrying about your own happiness or lack thereof seek opportunities to help others.   Resist rushing to judgment and strive to be more compassionate and empathetic.  Ask people how they feel and what they need and genuinely mean it.  Actions always speak much louder than words.

We are all on this ride called life together.  Ultimately what happens to your neighbor does affect you.  The greater the distance the more subtle the impact but it is still there nonetheless.  You can do what most people do and avoid or criticize the situation or you can try and make a positive difference in someone else’s life when they need you (especially when it is difficult to do so).  It’s a good idea to remember that life has a way of humbling us all.

What doesn’t kill?


By Herbert Mtowo

Up to now this still rates as one of my all time favorite article; people are going through so many challenges and in response to some of them. Its been humbling to read are how these articles are reaching out to thousands and that people`s lives are being transformed and inspired. With much love to you all, thank you for the birthday wishes, I have struggled with health matters of late but your prayers, love and God`s grace has seen me through. To JTC thank you so much and to Salome Shoombe thanks for being there for the JTC family, you and all the group are much-loved and greatly appreciated. I thank God for his grace at times getting peace in the middle of storms, there are so many who have been hit left right and center, which are yearning for solutions. But believe you me the article to follow is a heavy one I read it now and then. Enjoy it. [Herbert Mtowo]

Ladies and Gentleman, it is official: A new study has concluded that experiencing “adverse life events” not only makes you stronger but more satisfied with your life. This study also found that people who sail through life with ease or face less frequent adversity usually do not fare as well compared to those that do. Due to this information, researchers came to the conclusion that ”people are more resilient than we thought and happier because of it.”

Have you ever experienced an emotional, financial, or personal setback? Has that setback ever been a key to your success?

Personifications of Marriott’s quote are available throughout America’s rich history. For instance, Babe Ruth struck out a ridiculous 1,330 times in his professional baseball career, but because of his willingness to continue after failure Ruth went on to amass the record-setting tally of 714 home runs. R.H. Macy failed an incredible 7 times before his Flagship Macy’s Department store of New York City caught on! The great Walt Disney, creator of Disney Motion Pictures and Disney-world, failed many times, and even suffered a nervous breakdown and lost his home, before he was able to develop a successful cartoon about a mouse named Mickey. The moral of these great American success stories is that the most amazing successes are more often than not built upon early adversities. Therefore, it is important to bear in mind that only out of adversity can massive success truly be born, and it is our job as humans striving for excellence to turn these adversities into eventual successes.

One important key to turning your adversities into amazing successes is the importance of seeing your adversities as a bump in the road and not the end of the road. Your adversities are integral parts of the development process that prepares you for eventual success.

A second important key to turning adversity into success is one’s attitude. Answer this question: do you see your glass as half full or half empty? Or, more grammatically, do you see your current adversity as a “setback-period” or as a “setback-comma”? I ask this because as children we were all taught that there were two punctuation marks, each being critical to our ability to effectively learn to read and write. These two punctuation marks were the period and the comma. A period means the end of a sentence or end story, automatically implying that there is no more to be said or communicated, since a comma signifies a pause in the thought, with more to come in the sentence or story! When we have a setback, which we all will experience at some point or another in this life, we have the choice of deciding if this is particular setback will be a period or a comma in our life’s story. I urge you to see life’s challenges as a comma and not a period, but you are the one who must make the choice.

Remember that your attitude determines how you see and respond to the adversity that you are facing. As Bob Johnson, the founder of BET and current billionaire, once wrote, “Adversity can either make you or break you! The same hammer that breaks the glass happens to be the same hammer that sharpens the steel!” Hence, your eventual success or failure all depends on the positivity or negativity of your attitude and perspective.

How to Let Go and Move Forward


Let’s face it. Many of us choose to hang on to things that at some point have hurt us, angered us, made us feel sad, or depressed us. If we choose to hang on to them, we will never move forward and we could even create physical or medical damage to our bodies. To prevent this from happening we need to let go but no one really tells you how to let go and move forward. Sure it’s easy to say: "Just let go, move forward, forget about it, just let go." But that really doesn’t work. I’m about to show you how to let go and start moving forward.

Why You Need to Let Go and Move Forward.

Throughout our lives we go through different experiences, some are positive and some we see as negative and unpleasant. When you hang on to a negative or unpleasant experience you are constantly thinking about it. And when you constantly think about that negative event you prevent yourself from healing. How many pleasant memories do you recall everyday? Chances are you’re like most people and you have a number of unpleasant experiences that you’re holding on to, which is preventing you from moving forward.

The more you carry the worse life gets. Why? Because you’ve filled your mind up with negative experiences, because you continually hang on to something that doesn’t allow you to move forward, in short, you’re carrying useless baggage that’s really slowing you down.

Think of it this way: you’re on a hiking trip and along the way you keep picking up heavy objects, things that really don’t serve you. After a while, these objects begin to slow you down and unless you get rid of them, you’ll never complete your trip.

To let go you have to get your mind to focus on different goals and different objectives. It’s not about saying: I let go of the pain from my fight with —- and move on. That will help, but if you really want to start moving on, then you have to get your mind to focus on new things, in the process you automatically let go of the things that have been slowing you down.

Researchers believe that that if you hold on to negative feelings, sad emotions or depressing memories there is a possibility that you could reshape the human cell to the point where your thoughts of the past have a negative effect on your cells and your physical health.

Hanging on to negative past events is a process that can destroy your life in ways you’re not even aware of. Ask yourself these questions: Do the negative things you hang on to serve you any purpose? Do they help you move forward? Do they work in your favor in any way? If you said no to any or all of the above then tell yourself this: This emotion/feeling doesn’t help me so I’m letting it go and focusing on what is important. Then begin focusing on what you want next, focus on what is important and what can improve your life. This is a simple process that gets the mind moving in a new direction and you stop building negative energy created from the negative events/emotions, which only attracts more negative situations. When you begin focusing on more positive things you begin attracting positive situations.

The next step is to create an action plan, the past is over. Where do you want to go now and how do you plan to get there? You may not have the answers but merely thinking about the options forces your mind to go in a new direction and you automatically let go of unwanted feelings and emotions.

The key to your success is to train your mind to move in a new direction so you send new messages to your subconscious mind, which then brings you the opportunities to move forward.

The final step is to live in the present moment, to start living in the now. Living in the now is different than living for the moment. Living in the now is the process of enjoying everything that is going on at this present moment. Take a look around you and appreciate those things that you once thought were trivial. When you are here now you can be nowhere else. You are not hanging on to something, you are here now. I know some of you may say the following: "But Herbert, where I am right now really sucks, I don’t want to think about it." It only sucks because you’re looking at all the negative things going on. Focus on a few of the positive things anything from nature to the wonderful family you may have. This forces your mind to look at things differently and tells your subconscious mind that you’re ready for new possibilities, then you’ll begin to let go and move forward.

CNN – AIDS activist proves there’s life after HIV

AIDS activist proves there’s life after HIV

Two weeks after a routine medical test, Kenyan nursing student Asunta Wagura was summoned into her principal’s office. There, a crowd of tutors, student leaders and her mother was waiting for her.

One of her tutors broke the silence.

"I was told, ‘Asunta, I’m sorry, you have AIDS,’" says Wagura, recalling the moment some two decades ago that changed her life forever.

"And she went ahead and told me, ‘Now that you’re dying we are not going to keep you in this institution … go back and leave.’"

During that period, HIV/AIDS was regarded as a death sentence in Africa. Wagura was told she had only six months to live.

But more than 20 years later, Wagura has emerged as a symbol of hope for those infected with the disease.

As Kenya’s leading HIV and AIDS campaigner, she battles tirelessly for both public recognition and private respect, giving thousands of women a voice in the fight against the stigma of HIV.

The months that followed Wagura’s diagnosis were filled with denial, shame and rejection from those closest to her, including her own mother.

"While I was packing my stuff at the college she told me, ‘Well, this is it, whether you die or live, you must make sure you compensate me back what it cost me to bring you to this college,’ Wagura says.

"And this was about 20 minutes or so after the disclosure of my HIV status and I was wondering, ‘is this coming from my mother?’"

Rejected from her family, community and college, Wagura counted down the hours until her own death. She says she can’t describe how lonely she was at the time.

"Mostly I felt I wish I could just get one person who would appreciate me, who would understand what I’m going through during this period until I die," she remembers.

Completely alone in the world, Wagura even attempted suicide several times as her family made preparations for her funeral. But when the clock wound down as the six months passed, she found herself alive and decided to live one day at a time.

"I think that was the turning point," she says. "I said it doesn’t matter what people say, what my family says, I’m in charge between now and the time I depart."

Abandoned by her family, Wagura decided to go public and share her story in a courageous act aiming to reverse the message that AIDS is a death sentence.

Driven by the need to connect with people who understood the challenges of living with the virus, in 1993 Wagura co-founded Kenya Network of Women (KENWA), a support group for women, and occasionally men, to get together and talk to help each other financially and emotionally.

"I’m in charge of my life and my destiny as long as I’m alive," says Wagura. "That is the message we’ve been driving in KENWA — we’re in charge of our lives and we don’t need to be reduced to dependants on hand-outs and reliefs. I can work for the sustainability of my life."

The Kenyan group has swelled in numbers over the years and has now grown into a formidable regional organization with plans to expand to Southern Sudan.

Its drop-in centers provide testing facilities, antiretroviral drugs and advice on preventing mother-to-child transmission.

Since AIDS was declared a national disaster in 1999, the situation has improved significantly in Kenya.

The painstaking work by Wagura and other activists, and later the Kenyan government, has led to a change in public attitudes toward HIV/AIDS in the east African country. The advent of antiretroviral medicines and the prevention of mother-to-child transmission has altered the nature of the disease.

Having made her whole life public from the beginning, Wagura has been challenging the very assumptions of how an HIV-positive woman can live her life.

She has a weekly column in one of Kenya’s most popular papers and stirred international debate when a few years back she publicly declared her intention to have another child, despite knowing her status.

Wagura, whose first son was born in 1990 and has been tested negative, says: "The reason I wanted to have another child is because there are so may don’t’s in people living with HIV/AIDS that (people think) don’t even dare have a child … you should tune yourself to dying."

After becoming informed on how to avoid child transmission, Wagura gave birth to her second son a few years ago. She says that when her new-born child was tested negative she wanted the whole world to know.

"People give a lot of credit to HIV but looking at my life and the virus that I live in — I mean I’m on the higher scoring side," she says.

"I’ve gotten almost what I thought I lost," she adds. "I’ve worked around my career, I’ve worked around my family and I’ve worked out towards my happiness and fulfillment of life and that is what I was robbed of by HIV."

CNN – AIDS activist proves there’s life after HIV

AIDS activist proves there’s life after HIV

Two weeks after a routine medical test, Kenyan nursing student Asunta Wagura was summoned into her principal’s office. There, a crowd of tutors, student leaders and her mother was waiting for her.

One of her tutors broke the silence.

"I was told, ‘Asunta, I’m sorry, you have AIDS,’" says Wagura, recalling the moment some two decades ago that changed her life forever.

"And she went ahead and told me, ‘Now that you’re dying we are not going to keep you in this institution … go back and leave.’"

During that period, HIV/AIDS was regarded as a death sentence in Africa. Wagura was told she had only six months to live.

But more than 20 years later, Wagura has emerged as a symbol of hope for those infected with the disease.

As Kenya’s leading HIV and AIDS campaigner, she battles tirelessly for both public recognition and private respect, giving thousands of women a voice in the fight against the stigma of HIV.

The months that followed Wagura’s diagnosis were filled with denial, shame and rejection from those closest to her, including her own mother.

"While I was packing my stuff at the college she told me, ‘Well, this is it, whether you die or live, you must make sure you compensate me back what it cost me to bring you to this college,’ Wagura says.

"And this was about 20 minutes or so after the disclosure of my HIV status and I was wondering, ‘is this coming from my mother?’"

Rejected from her family, community and college, Wagura counted down the hours until her own death. She says she can’t describe how lonely she was at the time.

"Mostly I felt I wish I could just get one person who would appreciate me, who would understand what I’m going through during this period until I die," she remembers.

Completely alone in the world, Wagura even attempted suicide several times as her family made preparations for her funeral. But when the clock wound down as the six months passed, she found herself alive and decided to live one day at a time.

"I think that was the turning point," she says. "I said it doesn’t matter what people say, what my family says, I’m in charge between now and the time I depart."

Abandoned by her family, Wagura decided to go public and share her story in a courageous act aiming to reverse the message that AIDS is a death sentence.

Driven by the need to connect with people who understood the challenges of living with the virus, in 1993 Wagura co-founded Kenya Network of Women (KENWA), a support group for women, and occasionally men, to get together and talk to help each other financially and emotionally.

"I’m in charge of my life and my destiny as long as I’m alive," says Wagura. "That is the message we’ve been driving in KENWA — we’re in charge of our lives and we don’t need to be reduced to dependants on hand-outs and reliefs. I can work for the sustainability of my life."

The Kenyan group has swelled in numbers over the years and has now grown into a formidable regional organization with plans to expand to Southern Sudan.

Its drop-in centers provide testing facilities, antiretroviral drugs and advice on preventing mother-to-child transmission.

Since AIDS was declared a national disaster in 1999, the situation has improved significantly in Kenya.

The painstaking work by Wagura and other activists, and later the Kenyan government, has led to a change in public attitudes toward HIV/AIDS in the east African country. The advent of antiretroviral medicines and the prevention of mother-to-child transmission has altered the nature of the disease.

Having made her whole life public from the beginning, Wagura has been challenging the very assumptions of how an HIV-positive woman can live her life.

She has a weekly column in one of Kenya’s most popular papers and stirred international debate when a few years back she publicly declared her intention to have another child, despite knowing her status.

Wagura, whose first son was born in 1990 and has been tested negative, says: "The reason I wanted to have another child is because there are so may don’t’s in people living with HIV/AIDS that (people think) don’t even dare have a child … you should tune yourself to dying."

After becoming informed on how to avoid child transmission, Wagura gave birth to her second son a few years ago. She says that when her new-born child was tested negative she wanted the whole world to know.

"People give a lot of credit to HIV but looking at my life and the virus that I live in — I mean I’m on the higher scoring side," she says.

"I’ve gotten almost what I thought I lost," she adds. "I’ve worked around my career, I’ve worked around my family and I’ve worked out towards my happiness and fulfillment of life and that is what I was robbed of by HIV."

Seeds of accomplishment (via Analyfe)

Seeds of accomplishment It's often from a sense of discontent, feelings of incompleteness, or the firm grasp of true unhappiness that the seeds of great accomplishment are sown. One of the greatest paradoxes of happiness is that, as humans, we seek to control our lives and prefer comfortable situations over the unusual; however, the unfamiliar and unexpected are important sources of happiness and personal growth. Novelty requires more thinking, evokes more intense emoti … Read More

via Analyfe