By Herbert Mtowo
It is a concern of every woman and man who has a clear knowledge of what is happening around us. In my talk to both men and women, this is a big challenge for society today. Unfaithfulness in my culture and most cultures I believe it used to be a men’s problem alone, but now women are also on the wrong side of relationships and many are now caught cheating or involved in affairs. Though it is common knowledge that relationships require effort and sacrifice to become what they are intended to be. How many of us are prepared to work and invest in their relationships, and enjoy the fruits?
The challenges to faithfulness are many, though the most commonly known are communication, sex, money and in-laws (I call them outlaws) contribute to straining relationships. But I still argue that there no justifiable reasons to cheat on your wife or husband or mate. The damage that can be done or brought on a relationship because of unfaithfulness is extremely difficult to carry. A lot of theories and schools of thoughts have varying reasons for this monster, some of them we will look into them in the next coming articles. Its not about who is good in bed, or who has the big dick or who can wiggle their body rhythmically, its about morals, character, love, respect and one truth that stands out is that both men and women want and appreciate faithful partners. I am yet to hear of a woman with a golden vagina or a man with a diamond vagina, God made us all beautiful, fearfully and wonderfully created. None of us were born expects in sexual matters, but it’s a skill we learn and improve with time to perfection. The madness begins when you have a desire for every woman like the, you feel for your woman or man. The bottom line is it is possible; to love one woman and one man and be faithful to them until death, yes it is very possible.
It has been said now and again that couples who pray together stay together, but I would like to add and say couples who pray together and play together stay together. Prayer and playing bond couples or families together, these are rituals, which we all need to practice frequently.
Internet has been the most commonly abused, when it comes to extra marital affairs and cheating. Its sad how technology has been greatly abused for the wrong reasons. Several people are heartbroken, others cheat with their ex boy friends or girlfriends, friends, workmates you name them. It’s a crazy world, some women still have a bonding with their ex and some men the same too, they know their ex progress in their work, how many children they have, constantly they keep in touch with their ex’s friends so that they are updated with everything that is happening in their ex’s lives. That is playing with fire; if the two happen to meet by coincidence they will just undress and begin to make love, because their hearts are still knit together. Nothing hurts than having your wife or girlfriend cheating on you with their ex, it literally means they are married to you but their love and hearts still belong to their ex. It hurts and cuts deep, such wounds and hurts may take many years to heal, or eventually the union collapses unless God’s grace sees you through.
Past baggage (How much are you carrying)
It is common knowledge to those who are living for Christ that the devil’s best weapon is to use your past mistakes, failures, to discourage you and cause untold anguish. That is the same weapon the enemy uses to destroy marriages and relationships. I tell people now and again that, when you really want to enjoy the present and the future, don’t just burn bridges of the past relationships, burn them and never build them again. We fail to enjoy our loved ones today, simply because of failed past relationships. How do you keep longing for your ex, yet you are dating Mary of John or married to someone else?
Most people start on new relationships without letting go of their past mates. The new man or woman becomes a victim of unresolved issues in the past relationship. This is a fact that, faithful men and women are now an endangered species, rare near extinct breeds but, believe you me there still is a remnant around, so if God gives you one, cherish them and love them without any reservations. Here at Jordan touch we would like to encourage you to be faithful to the one you married or you are in love with.
I am one of the men who are not ashamed to say, faithfulness and loyalty are the mark of a real man. When faithfulness is motivated by the fear of HIV, people can still get tested and find they are negative and have sex, they can still use condoms to protect themselves. Faithfulness should be based on respect of oneself, love for God and not fear of God, not fear of HIV. The reality of the matter is that condom doesn’t give 100% protection. So why would we trust our destiny into something that doesn’t give total protection. It can bust if not put properly, the shocking revelation I want to give is most women, don’t even know when it’s off, or removed during intercourse as they climax, and men like to do that often. You and your partner should take full responsibility of your future by making a decision today to be faithful, always to the one you love.
Get Involved (don’t be a spectator)
Both partners have a role to play, when it comes to faithfulness, it takes two to tango. In my talk, interactions with people and findings about couples, I have discovered that the needs, the challenges are all the same despite race or ethnicity.Commuincating how much you love someone, how much you miss them and appreciate them goes a long way in stimulating marriage and keeping the spark. There is no excuse for poor communication in marriage and relationships now, what with modern day media technology of internet, twitter, mobile phones, Skype you name them the list is endless. You can keep in touch with your loved ones 24/7 and tell them how you feel, love and miss them. You can’t be madly in love or crazy in love with someone and not communicate with them constantly. Strange some couples can hardly talk, at home even when they are away from each other for a long time. Marriage isn’t only about sexual intercourse there is a whole lot of things couples can do together, play games, sports, movies, have fun, joke, plan and the list is long, but research has proved that most couples cheat because they aren’t happy sexually. The point is, talk about your sex life with your partner freely like you do about any other topic. Others only touch each other when they are in bed; they haven’t kissed for years or months. That’s a time bomb waiting to explode In your face, get involved with your partner, pray, have fun and enjoy them to the full. God gave human beings creative power, you don’t have to watch porno improve your sex life, the woman or man God gave to you is a continent to explore, you have so much to know of that body. The body of a woman is like a musical instrument, it produces music and sound when played, if you don’t like the sound of music, don’t break the instrument (Body), or dump it to get another one, learn the skill play it skillfully. Be a master with your musical instrument, and enjoy the sound it produces, to God’s glory. It can be a saxophone, a bass guitar, a lead guitar, piano it can adapt so well and be the type of instrument with the taste of music your ears long to hear. Treasure and value it, the same to our women our beloved women too. Look no further, that musical instrument can be just what you longed for, don’t jump into bed with every Tom and Harry.
Communication is the life of any relationship or marriage, neglecting it is the beginning of the end of the union. Money has been also an excuse for unfaithfulness, when it should never be blamed for that, I have met couples who still love each other to the bone even if they are struggling financially, I have met some who when struggling financially love flies out the window. Marriage is a big institution, which we need God to give us wisdom and knowledge to understand this mystery. God bless, remember it is possible to love someone faithfully and passionately.