By Herbert Mtowo
Song of Solomon 2:6 His left hand [is] under my head, and his right hand embraces me.
7 I charge you, O you daughters of Jerusalem, by the roes, and by the hinds of the field, that you do not stir up, nor awake [my] love, until he pleases. 8 The voice of my beloved! look, he is coming leaping upon the mountains, skipping upon the hills. 9 My beloved is like a roe or a young hart: look, he stands behind our wall, he looks out at the windows, showing himself through the lattice. 10 My beloved spoke, and said to me, Rise up, my love, my beautiful one, and come away. 11 For, look, the winter is past, the rain is over [and] gone; 12 The flowers appear on the earth; the time of the singing [of birds] has come, and the voice of the turtle is heard in our land; 13 The fig tree puts forth her green figs, and the vines [with] the tender grape give a [good] smell. Arise, my love, my beautiful one, and come away. 14 O my dove, [that is] in the clefts of the rock, in the secret [places] of the stairs, let me see your face, let me hear your voice; for your voice is sweet, and your face is lovely.
The passage above can best be understood if it is interpreted to describe the wonder of the final climax in love making. It begins with the intimacy of holding and touching, and leads finally to the fullness of the sexual experience. Notice especially the consideration that each one gives to the other. Yet how often does this truly happen in your experience? How often do both you and your spouse give each other enough consideration to make sure that both have a fully satisfying experience during love making? If you do, then you will understand some of the symbolism of this passage. The first stage is one in which you embrace and begin to touch each other. The sense of touch is probably the most important of all in love making. But where do you touch your lover to bring them the greatest experience of pleasure? This is something that varies from person to person, and each one has a nervous system that might be different. We all have parts of our body that are more sensitive than others, and they are not always the same for every person.
So which parts of your spouse’s body experience the greatest sensation of pleasure when touched? This is something that you should have found out by experimenting a bit. Or were you so keen to get to the orgasm that you did not take the time to touch, fondle and stroke each other? For a man, the sensation of penetration can be so strong, that he needs little else to come to a place of climbing that mountain leading to the final peak of the love making. But for most women it is not quite the same. A woman needs to be touched and stimulated far more then a man, because she is not immediately aroused by the sight of her husband’s body, as he is by hers. But there are no fixed rules. Each one is different, and you should take the time to explore each other’s bodies to create the most wonderful love making experience possible. Often the longer you take to climb that mountain leading to the peak of pleasure of the sexual experience, the greater your final experience will be. For the man it might involve holding back until his wife is fully aroused. But this is not always the case. Sometimes even a man needs some kind of foreplay and build up in order to fully enjoy the experience of love making.
So take the time, and if necessary, make the time to be tender with each other, and to touch each other, rather than just rushing in and getting it all over with. It is an investment which really pays off. A woman, who is given this consideration more often, is more likely to get excited about making love more often. But if you just rush in to satisfy your needs before considering your wife, then do not get angry when she finds excuses to not make love tonight. The passage above describes some of the feelings that come when love is approached the right way. Touch soon leads to talking, and expressing your love in words, or just emotional sounds.
Notice the woman describes the voice of her husband as he is quickly aroused, and he wastes no time on moving into the position for love making. But he is not a selfish man. Instead of satisfying himself immediately, he waits for his wife to catch up. He encourages her with the words, “Rise up, my love, my beautiful one, and come away.” He knows that once he has come to that peak, his part will be over, so he holds himself back, and encourages his wife to rise up first and be satisfied ahead of him. He speaks a lot more to her, painting some beautiful pictures to help her relax and come to the orgasm first, so that they can then move into it together. The chapter ends with a lovely description of the woman encouraging her husband as he too comes to that wonderful place that God has created for us to reach in this wonderful experience of love making. The two have become fully one and the experience is so wonderful that you feel it can last all night.
My beloved [is] mine, and I [am] his: he feeds among the lilies. Until the day breaks and the shadows flee away, turn, my beloved, and be like a roe or a young hart upon the mountains of Bether. Would it not be wonderful to experience this every time you make love? It can be possible if you both consider each other, and go about pleasing your partner first instead of satisfying your own desires first. Song of Solomon 2:16, 17.
It is indeed true, as the Word says, “It is more blessed to give than to receive.”