( By Herbert Mtowo)


If I were to ask you to define true love, you would probably not find this an easy thing to do. Love means many things to different people. Perhaps that is why we have made it so complicated. And as I always say, we have to find a simple way in order to be happy.

I am sure that by now, after trying to understand my ‘simple’ principles that I teach, you are finding it not so simple. You have probably found that showing love, affection and being in harmony are not so simple after all. Yet they should be if that is what God said we should do. So perhaps the real problem is that we keep complicating the things that God designed to be simple. Like love for example. I want to try and help you in this topic to realize how easy love really is. And when you see how easy it is, you will probably say, “Wow, I wish I knew that before.”

To help you understand love better, I am going to take you through some memories of the past. I want you to understand how you developed such a wrong idea of what love really is and how love affects each part of you. When we are finished, I think that you will find some love starting to appear that you did not know was there. . Then you will learn a little bit about yourself, get ready for this two part series.

A Life Without Walls, what an experience
You and me began our lives in a very safe and secure place; deep in our mother‘s wombs. We were as close to another human being as a person can ever get. AS part of our mothers, we shared her body, her soul and her spirit. The two of us could not be separated. So we felt it when her body moved, we felt it when her soul was touched, and we also shared in her spiritual experiences. While we were in the womb, you were protected from all outside influences and every need we had was met instantly through the mother. And although we were a separate person to her, we felt like we were part of her.

But then there came a time when suddenly all of this ended. You were pushed out into a new world that did not exist before. A world where there were no more walls of protection. A world where love does not always exist, where hurt and pain can affect you. Now instead of your needs being taken care of automatically, you found that you had to cry out for them to be fulfilled. And the more you cried, the more your needs were met. You soon found out that love was something that was not given freely.

The Walls Going Up

Now for most of us, our mother was probably a normal woman who cared for her little baby. But even the most loving mother finds it hard sometimes to be patient and caring. The demands of life, and the added responsibility of a little baby can cause a mother to not always give unconditional love.

Add to this also the other people who come into the picture. If the birth took place in a hospital the you were probably handled by nursing staff and doctors who were not always loving. They might have hurt you in order to help you, by pricking your body to take blood samples, and pushing pipes into your mouth and nose to remove excess fluid etc. I am sure that you do not remember any of these things. But from the moment you were born, you found that you were unprotected from hurt and pain. So you began to slowly build up some walls around you to protect yourself.

Then, as the walls began to grow, you started to feel a bit more like you did in the womb. You rested, knowing that if harm would come, you were ready for it. But what you did not realize was that you were not only protecting yourself from harm. You were also slowly putting up a barrier that would block out everything. And that barrier also began to block the love that your mother and others around you were trying to give you.

……To be Continued

Lovemaking, sexuality and foreplay.

Making love is A Skill to be mastered.

Herbert Mtowo

I always say to my fellow men that, “The body of a woman is like a musical instrument, it produces sound when picked up to be played.”The quality of the music is not determined by the instrument, but by the player himself. Most men are annoyed by the sound produced by the music not knowing that they determine the music coming out not the instrument. The instrument is just flowing with the way it is played. I have never played a guitar in my life, but if you ask me to play it, it will produce music and sound. But if you get a professional guitar player, you will hear that the sound and quality of music is different. May I put this forward to all men and women, Sex is an art which we are not born knowing. But we have to improve and work on it, to be skilful players so that the quality of music and sound is of great quality and standards.
What type of music are you producing through the instrument, body of the woman in your life, don’t jump to bed with every woman looking for better quality of music, you can make and produce the most beautiful music through that instrument(body),when you master the art of playing and improving your skill, that can be sweet to your ears and your partners Life is very stressful. There are so many things to do, and so little time in which to do them. So when it comes to love making, usually your time is limited. After a full day’s work and perhaps a full evening of responsibilities at home, you are weary.

When you go to bed, your desire for sex is there, but it is getting late. You must get some sleep or you will not be able to wake up in the morning. So what do you do? You rush through your love making and go to sleep. Men are the guiltiest of this. If you are a workaholic then you tend to rush through anything that is not work. So you scoff down your food at meal times and rush back to work. And you rush through your time of love making in the same way. Now as a man you might be able to cope with this. And you probably still enjoy the sex. It does not usually take a man long to reach orgasm. The sight of his naked wife gets his hormones raging, and if he is young and full of energy a few quick strokes will get him there. He falls back satisfied and drifts off to sleep, while his wife lies unfulfilled and frustrated. He did not bother to take the time to consider her feelings or to satisfy her desires. He thinks that he is a good husband, and he probably is a good provider. But he is a fool. He has not only denied his wife the opportunity to enjoy love making, but he has settled for less than he could have had. There seems to be a common idea that most men are crazy about sex and most women are not. This is largely because many women have never been given the chance to enjoy the sexual experience. The truth of the matter is that women are equipped to have a far greater sexual experience than men. A man, once he has reached a climax, cannot continue to enjoy the experience. He would have to wait and start all over again, if he is really energetic. But a woman can have several orgasms one after the other and continue to enjoy the experience even after reaching a climax.

So what is the best way to get the most out of your time of love making? Surely it is for the man to hold back until his wife has reached the same place of arousal as him. And then if he is really considerate, he will encourage her to reach orgasm first, if she desires to do so. For most men this is a difficult thing. When you begin to ‘climb the mountain’ you come to a point where it is all downhill. Once it starts you cannot stop it, and when it is over you cannot start it again. How do you overcome this problem? By the simple use of foreplay. This means bringing your wife to arousal before you complete the sexual act. How is this carried out? Many books have been written on this, and they all major on the physical side You get them in your email box daily. Those advertisements that promise you the best sexual experience you have ever had. For the man an enlargement of his genitals. For the woman an increased sensation to heighten pleasure.

Are there that many impotent and frigid people out there to justify all this of this hype that is made about the sexual experience? Or is this just another way to make people spend their hard earned money? There certainly are those who are unable to enjoy a normal sexual experience because of a physical malfunction, and where such a problem exists, and a doctor prescribes medication to correct this problem, such medication might be advisable. But for the vast majority of us, the truth of the matter is that we are not enjoying the sexual experience the way we should, and we are seeking some way of heightening it.
I teach on some powerful concepts on how to approach your love making to ensure that you obtain the most from the experience. You will find that if you develop your marriage relationship God’s way, then your love making experience will be wonderful, and the idea of taking some pill or cream to make it better will seem ridiculous. Most men need to know how to eat healthy than spend time on aphrodisiac boosters, good food, can improve your sexual performance as a men. Most men need to cut on their fat, sugar, oil, salt and other junk food intake. There is nothing that is a scary as being with a woman who is not getting enough or satisfied because the men is not doing a good job in bed.
You will find that sex is actually a spiritual experience, and the Holy Spirit will gladly become part of this, as you invite Him into your relationship. Sad to say there a millions of women and men who have not had or experienced quality sexual experience, in their lifetime. One of the major cause for divorce rates is infidelity. Why? I can simply put it that we have kept sex a taboo, topic to our detrimental.