By J Ibaroza
We were hurt and we indirectly inflict the pain on people around us. Even the best amongst us have old wounds to heal. It is impossible to go through life without being emotionally wounded, and deliberately or not, inflict such wounds to the people we love as well. We all are a being of hidden pains, scarred spirits, and disillusionment. Some are abused as a child- physically and emotionally. Others got their wounds from friends- and on certain occasions, via circumstances.
Pain masked by life’s aging process is all a common terrain. Like the palm of our hand, we are all too familiar with it. Yes, we learn to manage our pain. We became good at hiding our feelings. But old wounds resurfacing can deliver more harm than we may acknowledge for it can be expressed indirectly. An abusive parent is the kind of parent who suffers abuse in childhood, and though they love their children, the early trauma they had in life indirectly manifest in their child rearing ability. They became the reflection of their abusive parents without clearly being aware of it.
The jealous, over-possessive partner has the problems root cause (and not coming into terms) with the lack of love and nurturing that they should had received in childhood. The bully personality can be the most insecure of all for they hide life’s shortcomings under the cloak of false strength and virtue and obscuring the world for what they really are- a person with less confidence. The boss from hell has some issues of old wounds to get over with.
Grief, resentment, guilt, anger, bitterness, sarcasm. We insensitively make biting comments without caring for the impact they have on other people. We were hurt and we indirectly inflict the pain on people around us thus proving that past hidden pain (may) still makes a dent to the present life we were living. We may had gone through the healing process and acknowledge the emotional scar it leaves.
And healing was never an instant process. It is not an overnight process. It does allow us enough time to be aware of the issue and reassess how much of the wound is expressed in an indirect way. It delivers the idea of how much we want to live life with joy. We cannot rewrite the past, but we can make a better chart of our future. Without nurturing the pain, old wounds do heal with time. There will be scars- only to be a bitter reminder of the past and should inspire us to strive on becoming a better person.
Life is never meant to be perfect and a deep old wounds nemesis is forgiveness. Forgive yourself, forgive the people that inflict pain on you, and thoroughly forgive the past. Life is all about moving forward and not the other way around. Learn from the past and not live on it.