Relationships can be very complicated. When a relationship is in trouble, there can be many different reasons for the trouble. But no matter what the cause of the difficulty, if you want to save your relationship, there is one thing you can never leave out. And that one thing is “forgiveness”.
Many relationships have been destroyed because one or the other party would not forgive. And many times it was over something that, in the long run, was not very important at all. Your ability to forgive might make the difference as to whether your relationship is restored or destroyed.
We all do things to hurt each other. Sometimes we do it unintentionally and sometimes we do it for petty and selfish reasons. But you must come to understand that when you are in a relationship with someone, there are times when you will get hurt mentally and emotionally. The fact of the matter is, you’ll probably get hurt more than once, and your ability to forgive your loved one and move beyond the hurt will depend largely on you.
Relationships require love, commitment, sacrifice, a good sense of humor, and a “not taking yourself too seriously” kind of attitude. Just having a “fuzzy” feeling about your mate is not enough to keep a relationship together. There will be times when your love and commitment will be tested and you will be required to sacrifice things on a personal level in order to keep the relationship alive.
Many times we feel that we have been wronged so severely or hurt so deeply that we are unable to forgive the other person. But you must understand that forgiveness is a choice. It is something that you choose to do. It may not be easy at first but if you really, really want to, and you really care about the other person, and you really want to save your relationship, you will find a way.
One thing to remember is that unforgiveness does not hurt the other person nearly as much as it does you. Sure, your mate may suffer emotionally for a little while knowing that you have not forgiven them, but eventually they will get over it and move on. While you on the other hand will continue to suffer under the weight of whatever you are holding against them.
You see, it takes a lot of thought, effort, and energy to hold a grudge or unforgiveness in your heart against someone. In order for us to hold onto unforgiveness we must feed it constantly by thinking about it and rehearsing the hurt. This will eventually drain us of all positive energy and leave us feeling depleted and depressed. We end up spending all our time and energy holding on to these thoughts and feelings and we lose our ability to enjoy life and all its blessings.
So ask yourself “What is most important to me? My hurt feelings or my relationship with the one I love?” Then sit down and talk to your loved one and explain to them why you feel so hurt by their actions. And then forgive them. Yes, really forgive them, and don’t bring it up again. And don’t try to use it as a weapon to punish them with in the future. If you do, it will only prove that you really didn’t forgive them in the first place.
When you forgive the other person you will find that you experience a new sense of freedom in your own life. You are no longer bound by the chains of unforgiveness and can now enjoy life and your relationship as it was meant to be. Forgiveness will help to strengthen you and your relationship.
Relationships require forgiveness. Great relationships, the kind that last a lifetime, demand it. It is an essential part of every great relationship and if you want to save your relationship, you will learn to make this awesome gift one of the many that you have to give to your loved one