Fallacy of Compatibility

I dont how many of us  know that song, ‘Please release me let me go, ‘cause I don’t love you anymore?’ That is hogwash. You want to be free. And then you break free and suddenly you find out that freedom is not so good anymore. You are lonely. There is nobody who cares. You have to go round and try and find somebody else now. And every single person you find has only got one thing in mind. They want to use you, take from you, suck the goodness out of you and spit you out again.

You say, “But I’m looking for Mr Right. I’m looking for Miss Right. She’s out there somewhere.”

“And how will you know when you find her?”

“Well, we’ll just click you know. We’ll be compatible.”

That’s a lovely word isn’t it?

“Well you know, my husband and I, we are not compatible. So therefore, it’s pointless us continuing with this marriage. I need to break this and find somebody that I’m compatible with.”

What does compatible mean? It means you want to find somebody who dances to your tune. It means you want to find somebody who does not upset you, somebody who does not cramp your style. If you are a dominating person you want to find a partner that you can control and dominate. And if you are a grown up mommy’s boy that looking for a mommy, you want to try and find somebody that is going to dominate you.

We call it compatibility. There is no such thing as it. How can two sinful people be compatible? Yes it is true there are differences in temperaments, and we will be looking at that later. We will be looking at it in a lot of detail in our Counseling Series, on how temperamental make-ups affect each one of us. And we are going to be looking at it especially in the marriage situation to see how temperaments flow together to get two people to complement each other.

But most people do not think of that when they think of compatibility. They are just thinking of somebody they do not fight with; somebody that they feel comfortable with. And a lot of the time you do not even know what you are looking for, so you do not even know when you have found it. So you try this person to see if this is the one, and you get married to that person and it does not take long for you to find out that, “Hey, we’re not compatible. He doesn’t do things my way.”

“Hey, she just doesn’t give me what I want all the time. How can we be compatible?”

So, you hop on the marriage merry-go-round again; in divorce and remarriage, in divorce and remarriage; in divorce and remarriage. And so the merry-go-round continues. Until eventually you just get off the merry-go-round and stand and watch it go round and round. You are too scared to get on any more because you cannot find that person. So you come to the conclusion that no such person exists.

It is a lie. It is a lie of Satan, because you believed his lie in the first place. We are going to be looking at it in much more detail in this marriage series. We are going to be looking at all of these aspects. So in this study I am just going to cover a groundwork or foundation if you like of all the things that we are going to be covering. You see, the only way that you can be compatible is to do things God’s way. You have to do it His way. And if you do it His way it is guaranteed to work.

Work Needed

You know the ‘w’ word – work? You know that thing that we hate? Work. Well, it is going to take work. It is not just going to fall into your lap. You are going to have to work at it. And you are going to have to know how to work at it. You are going to have to know what to do about it to make this thing work. That’s what we are going to be teaching you in this series.

So where are we headed? We are going to be looking at the Scriptural standard for marriage. We are going to have a look at where we tend to violate that standard. We are going to see why people violate it, and we are going to see what happens when they violate it. Then we are going to show them how to correct their mistakes. In the end we are going to get a new view of marriage and give some plans of action to fix things..We are just looking now at the marriage aspect, but there is going to be so many other areas that all interlink and interrelate and all come together to affect us, because so many things that affect the marriage are caused by personal problems in each marriage partner.

If you are going to solve the marriage, you have to solve the problem in the individual first, because marriage actually is very simple. We are going to have a look at it shortly, and see how simple it really is. Just the complications in our lives and the other problems that we have in our lives are what make our marriage complicated too.

Marriage Important to God

So I want to look at some marriage basics firstly. I want you to realise that God considers marriage so important that He dealt with it first. Do you know that? If you pick up your Bible and read, you will find that way back at the beginning God speaks about marriage. Marriage is very important. It is high on God’s priority. That is why it is also high on Satan’s priority, because the marriage is the key to victory in the spiritual life. A successful and happy marriage are at the base of you succeeding in ministry; of living the kind of life God wants you to; of walking in the way of blessing that the Lord has for you. And if Satan can attack you right there he can begin to destroy everything that God has for you.

So marriage is vitally important. How important is marriage? If marriage is so important, then why may I ask is it not top billing in every sermon that preachers are preaching? Why is it not top billing in teaching seminars? The last prophetic conference that you went to, how much time did they spend on marriage? The last revival that you went to, how much emphasis was put on marriage? WE HAVE TO FACE IT MARRIAGE IS THE KEY RELATIONSHIP THAT BIRTHS ALL OTHER RELATIONSHIPS,IT STARTS IN THE FAMILY,HOME OR HOUSE-IN  MARRIAGE.Though it has not  been given its place in society today,thatdoesnt make it less important,it still is up thhere as thee most important relationship.