RELATIONSHIPS/MARRIAGE UNDER-SIEGE


BY HERBERT MTOWO

Marriage Under Siege

The marriage institute is an extremely important institution not only in the Christendom circle but in every area of life marriage plays an important role to shape the future of a people, community, nation, tribe etc The business people, the politicians, the atheists, traditional and all look up to it and hope for .

It is one institution that is under severe attack and the enemy knows how vital it is to us and many generations to come. I strongly believe that at Jordan Touch Communications we are making a small contribution, to this noble cause of marriage and relationship building.

Am not an expert on this topic but as an author,counselor and public speaker this is one topic that i am so passionate about,having spent many years consulting in the field of HIV/AIDS has opened my eyes to the challenges that we have when it comes to marriage and relationships,i have had my own challenges when it comes to this topic,and that I feel my contribution on this topic will go a long way in helping one or two people out there.

We believe that there are many other organizations doing so much more to make sure this institution is continuously empowered. For example, one of my heroes James Dobson and Focus on the family, We thank God for His grace who has enabled us to find our place in this global cause to build, encourage and allow many to become faithful, handle their conflicts, faithfully love, forge  ahead during times of storms to stand and  not waver.

Looking at the marriages of many people, and bible examples of marriages of man and women of renown, I realized that was so many are sadly lacking. Some of the couples were career-minded and put all their efforts into their jobs, rather than their relationships. Others, especially women, put all their efforts into their children, and tended to let go of their relationship with their husband. Then when the children left home there is no relationship with their spouse and their life falls apart. You don’t have to be in this situation! Even if you are a stay-at-home mom or a career woman, you can still have an awesome marriage. Other are too spiritual they literally neglect their spouse in the name of doing God`s work, others are so dysfunctional that there is no order in the home, anything is permissible.

Others, are so soaked up in business matters and bring money in the home, but forget to be there for their children .Don’t neglect your marriage that is children and wife. If you want your marriage to work, take time to invest into it, the rewards are unbelievably incomparable.  There are some ingredients to spark and bring joy to your relationship/marriage that you have to cultivate and make sure they exist in your relationship. The lists of some of them are listed below, without much elaboration: Take note of them and till the ground in your relationship, to see it blossom and flourish to unimaginable heights.

  1. Make sure both partners are fulfilling their roles as according to the word of God.
  2. Communicate effectively.
  3. Don’t leave problems unresolved and spilling into the next day.
  4. Guard against triggers from the past.
  5. Accept and understand the purpose of temperamental differences.
  6. Give and show love unconditionally.
  7. Be prepared and ready to forgive always.
  8. Find time to pray together.
  9. Have fun(, take time to play)
  10. Plan together.
  11. Have you ever realized that every human has a desire for affirmation, love and care? All people deep down inside is a child just wanting somebody to give them attention. Make a reality check and find whether, you are being the husband or wife that is giving that attention? I just hope you are feeding that child? Make sure you are  feeding it with love, care, hugs and kisses, and all the good things Maybe are you tearing down and causing that gentle sweet fragrance to be withdrawn more and more, and hidden away more and more, because you keep hammering and hammering and hammering all the time. The more you hammer the more he/she withdraws and you say, “Yep, I sure had him/her convicted!” So you hammer him/her again and he/she withdraws more and you say, “Yep sure I told you I had a useless wife/husband.”

    Is it any wonder why she/he is sitting and not wanting to spend time with you and running away, because all you ever do is blast and hammer? I can bet she/he will never bring herself /himself right. Who would wants to sit around the place where you are getting hell fire, criticism, condemnation all the time? Just like you and me, we wouldn’t like to sit for a nice cozy afternoon in the midst of hell fire? Honestly who would ever like to do that? These are ingredients which look very irrelevant but they give marriage the extra mile and fuel it to greater heights.

    No, no, no! Why not give them a nice gentle stream to sit beside where the waters are cool and refreshing and gentle, and bring peace to the soul and they will stick to you like a fly. Are you a sweet-smelling flower? I don’t know how many of us have realized that, when you sweet smell, the bee just cannot help it’s an irresistible attraction that lures it. The bee wants to come and pollinate. It just cannot help itself, because the color is so beautiful and so bright, and the smell is so refreshing and appealing. It cannot help itself but to keep coming back. It is important that when you are in love, you make sure that you are still sending out that sweet-smelling fragrance.

    Are you that lily flower that just oozes with love and refreshing life in the presence of the Lord? Is it that which oozes from every pore of you so sweet, such that you leave her/him thinking, “Ooh, I must have and feast on more of you? Hey, it just tastes so good, and I can’t get more of you. Or are you a terrible house fly that is all stinky? What are you in your relationship? Maybe you are the one that destroys with poisonous venom or one that releases a beautiful sweet-smelling scent?

    Take time to break down the walls of your own heart and become that flower first and the bee will naturally be attracted to it. Surely, you don’t have to hunt down a bee and force it onto a flower. They all will come there by themselves. Just stand there and be beautiful, whether you are a husband or wife. Be appealing in your spirit and be every good thing. Cultivate all the fruits of the spirit, in your life. This I can confidently tell you that, love is the sweetest, sweetest aroma. It is the sweetest aroma to your spouse and the Lord when we offer up our love and sacrifice. It is like sweet incense to your spouse` nostrils. You know if she/he is thinking it is such sweet incense to their nostrils, do you not think that everybody else around you thinks it is a sweet smell too? Even God wants the sweet-smelling love into His nostrils.

    Yes, it is true marriage is under siege, but you and I have the resources to make it work. Love, pure, pure love, Love is like water in the desert. You know you have these flash floods in the desert where beforehand everything was dry, dry, dry.

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