BY ED ROBINSON
[great article this is,thanks Edi.]-Herbert Mtowo.
We can’t control what other people say or do, but we can control how we respond to it. It’s important to always remember that no one can make you feel anything; you choose to feel that way. It’s amazing how a few unkind words or obvious negative body language can affect us. I’ve seen fairly successful and confident people wilt under the glare of another person’s disapproval. None of us are perfect and we all make mistakes, so only take constructive feedback to the degree that it helps you improve/grow as a person. If the feedback being given isn’t constructive, then learn to simply block it out or ignore it.
I also believe it’s important to check the other person’s motivations. There are some people out there who have an agenda that is less than pure and they try to bring others down because of their own jealousy or insecurities. As a society we often do this to people who we initially crown as celebrities, once they shown their own flaws and/or human frailties. I’ve also heard it said that paradoxically we end up disliking those we hurt. It is a constant reminder of how we failed another fellow human being. Rather than seeking forgiveness, we choose to see only those things about them that justify our own bad/poor behavior in the first place.
It’s impossible to go through life and have every person you interact with like you. There are just some connections that aren’t meant to be. Sometimes we will even fall out with people we once held close, which is sad but not the end of the world. Don’t fret or worry too much about this reality. All you can do is be the best “you” that you can be. When you miss-step or do something wrong, own it, apologize and move on. When you need to seek forgiveness ask for it but also provide it in return. Always model the behavior you would like to see in others even when it is difficult.
We control our thoughts. Someone can only ever make you feel small if you let them. Don’t get mired in the negative energy put out by other people. It will only ever hold you back personally and/or professionally. Pursue your life’s journey with passion, honesty, integrity, dignity, empathy, valor and love and then let the chips fall where they may. When you stumble, pick yourself up and keep moving forward anyway. If someone else wants to be an obstacle in your path toward happiness and enlightenment, then step around them or avoid them altogether. If someone is not being kind or helpful, then they are either being hurtful or providing no value whatsoever. Why bother with them?