Recover from your mistakes

By Larry Lewis

Isn’t it time for you to stop beating yourself up for that slip-up you made and now make this the moment where you allow yourself to recover from your mistakes? It’s cost you enough already. By thinking about it all the time and letting it keep you down it’s just doing you no favors, but you don’t need me to tell you that, do you?. Yet you’re still thinking about it, so come on it’s time to STOP.

You now need to realize that no matter the nature of your mistake you need to learn how to limit the damage from it and learn all you can from what has happened.

It is much easier to recover from your mistakes when you see them as a learning opportunity rather than something completely destructive. Now I know this is harder said than done. But let me assure you, when mistakes are seen as opportunities to learn, you give yourself the mindset that will enable you to recover from them. Otherwise you will simply allow the damage to spiral out of control. I should know, that’s what I did through the darkest period of my life.

I can remember like it was only yesterday continuously thinking through all the events leading up to my ‘downfall’ back in 2007 and seeing with intense clarity all the mistakes I had made. They made me feel guilty, inadequate and a failure. I couldn’t or wouldn’t allow myself to see beyond them. My attention seemed transfixed on everything that had happened so I allowed them to continue having a hold over me, they had taken center stage in my mind.

You can recover

You can recover

I had forgotten about all my successes and great decisions that had led to me having built such a great life with wonderful possessions. My mind simply focused on what I’d done wrong instead of remembering what I’d done right. Even if somebody had told me at that time to” learn from what had happened and set about on taking action to recover from your mistakes” I’d have probably have ignored them. Allowing my mistakes to keep hold of me ensured I was unable to move my life forward.

That is what I love about my role now as a blogger and a coach. I can use my experiences and mistakes to help guide others, enabling them to make better decisions and helping them to deal with the mistakes they make. I will tell them it is possible to recover from your mistakes but you’ve got to stop feeling sorry for yourself and stop wasting time thinking of ‘only if’s.’

So here let me offer a better way to enable you to recover from your mistakes.

1. Recognize you have made a mistake.

Don’t shut your eyes and hope when you open them the mistake will have simply disappeared. Do not leave your mail unopened so that you don’t have to deal with the consequences. Make sure you recognize and acknowledge the mistake you have made, admit that it has happened. Yes you have made a mistake, own up to it so you can start to deal with it and learn from the experience.

2. Refuse to adopt a victim mentality

Don’t look for excuses, blame the world or anybody that you can, and stop feeling sorry for yourself. Don’t waste time looking for the outside forces to point the finger at, instead take responsibility for what you have done and the following consequences.

3. Don’t hold it in
You need to communicate with others, share your feelings, express your concerns and brainstorm possible solutions. Sometimes the answers may be hard to find, but keep going, keep talking, looking for solutions is a very positive way of dealing with the situation you are in, and allows you to share your problem which I can say is important because trying to deal with things on your own makes it so much more difficult. Also you need to apologize to those close to you who may also have to deal with the repercussions of what’s happened. You owe it to them to ensure they have an opportunity to look for solutions with you and for them to know you share everything with them.

3. Get rid of your Ego

Don’t think that your reputation is on the line. Probably my biggest mistake was when disaster struck; I cut myself off from the world, particularly my good friends, because I couldn’t face the embarrassment of them knowing. This was purely my ego. It also prevented me from looking at things as they really were, I simply didn’t want to admit to myself that my successful world had disappeared. My pride couldn’t handle it. How stupid!

5. Resolve the problem

An obvious step but one that we frequently avoid. As I said earlier we fool ourselves that things can fix themselves. Well they can’t and they won’t. You need to gather your strength and salvage what you can from your situation. There are always solutions to every problem; you just have to dig until you find the best one available to you. Research possible ways; speak to the right people until you find the best possible solution to resolve your problem.

6. Learn from your mistake

In everything we do and everything that happens to us there is a lesson we can learn to help us become better, happier and more successful in the long run. Everything I learned from the hurdles put up in front of me on my life’s journey have provided me with my way of fulfilling my dream of helping other people.

I know many of you are still being affected by mistakes you made long ago and you’ve been unable to put things behind you. It is time to say “It is finished.” Every day that goes by let your past dissolve into history making sure you do the right things today.

Let my granddaughters favorite movie have the last words. Here is some dialogue from the Disney

Movie ‘The Lion King.’

Rafiki: Ahhh. Change is good.
Simba: Yeah, but it’s not easy. I know what I have to do. But, going back means I’ll have to face my past. I’ve been running from it for so long.
{Rafiki whacks Simba on the head with his staff.}
Simba: Oww! Jeez– What was that for?
Rafiki: It doesn’t matter; it’s in the past! {laughs}
Simba: {Rubbing head} Yeah, but it still hurts.
Rafiki: Oh yes, the past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it, or… learn from it.
{As Rafiki picks up his staff, Simba starts running off.}

So please stop punishing yourself for your mistakes. Let it go! Forgive yourself officially and take every effort to recover from your mistakes.

A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. George Bernard Shaw

Time is ticking

By Larry Lewis ( My Mentor)

Time doesn't wait for you.

Time doesn’t wait for you.

Time never stops, tick tock, another second goes by, before you know it a minute will be gone, then an hour, a day, a week, a month. Nothing you do can slow it down. You can’t get it back, and you can’t make extra time. We all get 24 hours a day, that is it, no more.

My question is do you use time to its best. This is not an article about time management. But maybe it is. Yet I’m not looking at how you organize your day, nor am I considering writing about a daily schedule with all the roles and responsibilities you have to break down into the necessary actions you have to take on a daily basis. To me this is allowing time to be the most important thing we have. It becomes your controller. You then try to get as much done in the time you have and that becomes your priority.

I don’t believe it is. I believe time is only important when it’s gone. When we have no time left. You know that day when all your loved ones gather together with friends to wish you farewell as you’re lowered into the ground.

I feel it in my heart and soul that we need to make the greatest use of our time while we can. My mum, who now has departed, lost many years of her life to that dreadful thing called dementia. Too many of her last years were lost in the grips of this illness, and to honour her I want to make sure that not only I, but the lives I touch, go on to make sure they spend their time wisely, doing something significant. Most people want to do great things with their life. Your inner soul is crying out to do something significant. Too often you ignore this yearning and allow life to just be, dare I say it, insignificant.

Have you ever felt like you have been wasting time away? Have you ever got to the end of the day, or maybe even a week, thinking about how little you’ve either done or achieved.

It’s time to do something significant, so you leave a truly important mark with the time you’ve spent here. To build a significant life you have to discover meaning and purpose.

Every person has a longing to be significant; to make a contribution; to be a part of something noble and purposeful. John C. Maxwell

I genuinely believe that when you do something important that you love and know has significance, you in return appreciate your life and the wonderful journey you’re on.

You’re happiest while you’re making the greatest contribution. Robert F. Kennedy
You were born to do something wonderful with your life. There has never been and never will be anyone just like you. You are unique. Your special combination of talents, abilities, emotions, ideas, attitudes, and philosophy makes you distinct from all other beings who will ever live. You have a major role to play in your lifetime, it may not have surfaced yet but it sure will if you keep looking for it.

One of the most important questions you can ever ask and answer is this: “What kind of difference do I want to make with my life?”

In leaving a legacy and making a difference with your life you have to connect with something that means a lot to you. So start thinking, where is this meant to be taking you?

What is your passion? What problems or needs in society do you really care about? What do you find yourself naturally attracted to and interested in? What sort of issues do you find yourself discussing, arguing, and debating? Where is it you are meant to be helping?

Time is ticking, now start to live a significant life.