Balance and focus is all we need.

focus keep your focusHey focus is the way
By Herbert Mtowo

HUNDRED email messages are waiting for you to read and respond to in the morning. And a book has to be edited and be ready for publishing. The phone starts ringing at 7:00 am. There is GYM sessions to do daily in the afternoon and a meeting with my publishers tonight and a deadline nearing for the next publication, there are ten or twelve new Web sites that you want to take a look at. Somebody told you about an interesting article on my blog and Larry Lewis`s blog too. The phone just keeps on ringing. You’ve got to drop everything to get that presentation ready in time for tonight`s Public Speaking The afternoon email count is 55. On the way to the gym session, you get 8 more phone calls.

Will it ever end? Constantly, relentlessly, day in and day out, at night, on weekends, wherever you are, it just keeps coming. Information, responsibility, decisions, projects. Things demanding your time and your attention, you finish one and three more pop up to take its place.

How can you possibly deal with it all? Don’t you feel like throwing up your arms and screaming?
The need for focus is becoming more and more critical. There is simply too much to deal with. If you are not focused, your time gets eaten away by all the thousands of details that make up life. If you are not highly focused, you’re probably not getting anything accomplished. What we focus on is very important for our lives. It is our focus that bring us riches, love and harmony, but only if used right!

Life never lets up. And now, with computers and the Internet, the problem is worse by an order of magnitude. There is just so much information coming at you. Unless you make a conscious effort to focus your attention, you’ll be mired in meaningless data.

Focus is what ties everything together, gives it a context, gives you something productive to do with it all. Without it, you’ll be pulled in 15 different directions at once, and will never get anywhere. Did you know that if you focus all the energy of a single light bulb into a tiny tiny beam. You create so much focus energy that it could burn trough the sun!

All of us have so much mental energy moving around in all directions. All the commercials that makes us lose focus ass well. You can have it all just not right now! If you only would focus your mental energy on one thing at the time you will achieve so much more in less time than ever before.

Make the decision to focus your efforts. Decide what you want to do today and concentrate on that until it is done. Decide what you want to do this week, this month, this quarter, this year. Because once your daily goals get accomplished, the world is waiting to suck you back in if you’re not focused on the next step. That is why goals are so important. They keep you focused and headed in the direction you want to go.

When you have a clear sense of direction, then everything becomes an opportunity instead of a distraction. All the information that you take in can now be viewed in a context, making it much easier to deal with. All your in-person, email and phone contacts are now opportunities to bounce ideas off of others. Being focused can take all the seemingly unrelated pieces of life and align them to work for you. Remember a successful person always focuses on solutions and where they want to be. They don’t waste time to find out all that can go wrong.
So get a very clear idea of where you are going, of what you want to do. Remind yourself of it often. And almost as if by magic, the energy that is swirling around you will become aligned in the direction of your goals.

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The KEY is setting up goals

Herbert Mtowo

Herbert Mtowo

By Herbert Mtowo
In many situations people use words goals and objectives as interchangeable. Yet, in the context of goal setting, the difference between goals and objectives has an important practical meaning. After you set your important goals you move to setting objectives. Objectives are also goals, but they are down the hierarchy. They are sub goals set with the only purpose to serve your goals. Turn on the KEY by setting up real realistic, tangible and achievable goals
Resolutions are nice, feel-good statements; but are a waste of time. They have no substance and rarely, if ever, create any sustainable improvement in people’s lives. I recommend you DO NOT make New Year’s Resolutions! Rather, set goals for The New Year! Setting goals is key to your achievement.
It is important to note that to achieve your goals, which conditions should you provide, which resources should you collect, which skills should you develop, what knowledge should you acquire? Is there anything significant you should achieve before you can reach your goals? Formulate the answers to these questions as your objectives, in writing.
If one is able to do this correctly and properly, it can transform you from tired and weary to energetic and excited. It can motivate you to push yourself beyond previous expectations. It can encourage you to learn from every experience. It can fill you with a positive spirit. It can inspire persistence. It can bring on sure and steady effort. It can produce incredible results. My lessons from my mentor Larry on goal setting have been revolutionary and life changing indeed.
It is a fact of life that, many people eventually realize how important goal setting is for their personal and business success. Only very few have gone so far as to actually sit and put their goal statements in writing. This is a very unfortunate situation. It is well established that it is the process of writing your goal statements that actually puts your goals to work. A reality and factor of life is that without setting goals, life is empty, boring too rigid and nothing exciting as the dawn of a new day begins, whereas goal setting makes life vibrant and worthy while to live and look into the future with hope an joy. So setting up goals isn’t just a routine exercise but, a KEY to turn around one`s life and a step into greatness. Many people find life so tiring and with nothing to live for because they don’t have anything to live for.
It is in this goal writing process that your subconscious mind starts taking your goals seriously. Your mind gets all the necessary signals to start moving you forward. And those signals are better to be very clear and direct, no confusing or conflicting messages. They should include clear visual images of your written goals. What is it about GOAL setting? It is a clearly defined goal — something meaningful and challenging to which you can look forward. The amount of effort you can produce and the number of obstacles you can transcend will be significantly affected by the desirability of the reward you pursue.
If you’re having trouble moving forward, perhaps your dream is not big enough or clear enough or real enough. The effort you put into defining, clarifying and connecting with your dreams will pay valuable dividends of focus, commitment and creative energy. Many get motivated at the start of the year, but can’t keep it up. Some say the problem with motivation is that it wears off! Well, so does bathing! Yet, most people bathe everyday (we hope). The same has to be done with motivation…it must be ongoing to maintain effectiveness.
To turn your goals into realities, make motivation a part of your daily routine. Commit to reading or listening to something motivational each and every day. Commit to fill your mind with that which is positive and encouraging.
Make your goals strong enough to pull you to them. Not only will you eventually achieve them, you’ll live more abundantly every step of the way. To achieve success, you need both persistence and flexibility. When you face difficulties and unexpected problems, use all your persistence and determination to stick to your goals. But always stay flexible with your objectives and activities. If the way you do things now does not work, try another way. Keep trying until you find the one that works.
The year has just begun, make your life a priority and setting goals a KEY into greatness. Many people have nothing to fight for and nothing to plan for and focus on simply because they don’t have any goals for their lives for the year and long term future. Don’t change the ends, change the means. And never forget the difference between ends and means, between goals and objectives.

My weaknesses are my strengths

By Herbert Mtowo
“Our strength grows out of our weaknesses.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
Did you realize that your weaknesses can contain an overwhelming abundance of hidden positive value? Those who only make use of their strengths are missing a big part of the picture. Use your strengths, to be sure, and also make use of your weaknesses. Even the great Paul of the bible, understood the value of making his weaknesses his strengths, instead of fighting the pain he realized he can embrace and cooperate and live with it to bring the best out of him. God spoke to him, “My strengths are made perfect in weakness”.-2 Corinthians 12:10-I AM STRONG

I am strong when I am weak...

I am my own man..

We all have our weaknesses, and when our goal is to persuade, we need to turn those weaknesses into strengths. Equally important, we need to speak up about them. In most business settings, where persuasion is personal and takes place between two people or a small group, a trait that is perceived by others as a weakness-or that you personally experience as a weakness-sometimes needs to be acknowledged out loud by you. That way, you can control people’s perception of the weakness and recast it as strength.
Your weaknesses represent the areas in which you can make the greatest, most dramatic improvements. Sure, you can improve on your strengths but any improvement will be incremental. However, when you set out to overcome your weaknesses the change can be stunning. For example, instead of saying to yourself “I’m no good at meeting people” consider what an enormous difference you could make by taking it upon yourself to become better at meeting people. By turning around a particular weakness you can have a dramatic impact. Which brings us to an interesting question: What is a weakness? Things such as gender, race, an accent, height, and so forth are often experienced as disadvantages in the workplace even though they aren’t weaknesses in the same sense that, for example, a stutter or dyslexia or extreme shyness is. Because of that, I almost decided to call this article, “Turn Your Differences Into Strengths.” But in addition to sounding way too politically correct, that misses point. If it feels like a weakness to you in the situation where you want to be persuasive, you need to get it out on the table and turn it into strength.
Half the battle is internal. It’s understanding that you’re as good as everyone else, and believing that what you may perceive as a weakness is actually a strength. The Buddhists teach that the thought is the root, and the root becomes the tree. This is true no matter what your personal profile. Believe that your “weakness” is strength, and you will soon see it in that light. It isn’t a matter of fooling yourself; it’s a matter of being open to a different perspective.
In politics, candidates are forced to turn their weaknesses into strengths in a very public way. The most famous example is probably Ronald Reagan’s quip during a debate with Walter Mondale in 1984. Reagan, who was 73 at the time, announced, “I will not make age an issue of this campaign. I am not going to exploit, for political purposes, my opponent’s youth and inexperience.”
The weakness-into-strength positioning begins at the moment a political career is launched, when the first-time candidate is accused of being inexperienced. The standard response is, “That’s right! I am an outsider, and I’ll be a breath of fresh air in the stale, corrupt halls of power.” Barrack Obama stated that in his campaigns’. In the 2008 Democratic primaries, Barrack Obama famously ran on his outsider status against longtime Washington insiders such as Hillary Clinton, Joe Biden, and Bill Richardson.
Obama’s eventual opponent, John McCain, had a different weakness to contend with in the Republican primaries. Despite the fact that McCain had been a U.S. senator for 22 years, he was more widely known for having been a prisoner of war. Rudolph Guiliani, the Republican front-runner at the time, was known for “leadership,” a more positive trait when you’re hoping to be president. McCain’s campaign turned his weakness into strength by concluding his television ads with the words, “John McCain for Commander-in-Chief,” rather than the standard, “John McCain for President.” It emphasized his potential for leadership as well as his military heroism, and helped to shift voters’ perceptions about the traits a president should possess.
In any job, making your weakness your strength is a positive. But when you’re persuading, it’s important to remember the other half of the equation: talking about it out loud, so that the unacknowledged “weakness” doesn’t distract people from your message.
What do you think your weaknesses are? Are they keeping you from starting something new, from pursuing a dream? Sometimes we have fears about our weaknesses without realizing it. Take a minute to think about what you’ve always wanted to do, or what you’re doing now. What are your fears? What do you perceive to be your weaknesses? What are your limitations, and what’s holding you back?
Everyone is blessed with numerous weaknesses. Instead of denying them or trying not to think about them, select a few and make the effort to overcome them. It can be a truly life changing experience.Go ahead turn your weaknesses in 2015 and beyond into your reservoirs of strengths..Make the best out of 2015,remeber you and me only have now and today to accomplishment all that we ant to accomplish in life.

Signs You’re Settling for Less Than You Deserve

Iyanla  Vanzant

Iyanla Vanzant

By Iyanla Vanzant

Some years ago, I was shopping and came upon a beautiful red dress. The color, style and length were perfect. But the store didn’t have it in my size. It did, however, have the same dress in navy, which I wasn’t crazy about. Then I noticed a pair of blue shoes nearby that complemented that blue dress. (I didn’t love those, either.) So what did I do? I bought both. I was afraid I wouldn’t find anything else, so I settled. (It won’t surprise you to learn that I’ve never worn the dress or the shoes.)

You’ve probably heard the saying “Better the devil you know than the devil you don’t.” Here’s a question: Why put up with any devil? Why not give ourselves only good things? When we believe we cannot have what we desire—when we lack faith in ourselves and in the goodness of life—we settle for less. We decide that whatever is in front of us is better than nothing. But believe me when I tell you that better than nothing isn’t good enough.

I often see people settle for less than they deserve in personal relationships: accepting bad behavior, excusing broken promises, accommodating people who take more than they give. Why? Because doing things we’ve grown accustomed to is familiar, comfortable.

Which is why sometimes it can be tough to gauge whether we’re settling: When we tell ourselves that things are fine, we soon forget that they could be better. Here’s how to know whether you’re putting up with less than you deserve:

1. When you have to work yourself into a state of excitement rather than naturally experiencing joy and passion, you’re probably settling.

2. When you bargain with yourself about what you can do without rather than feeling gratitude for what you already have, you’re probably settling.

3. When your focus is on the time and energy you’ve invested in an endeavor rather than the love, joy and gratification you’ve gained, you’re probably settling.

4. When you’re making excuses about why you should stay put rather than going for what you truly want, you’re probably settling.

5. When you spend more time complaining about what you have than appreciating it, you’re definitely settling.

But there is a lesson to be learned in everything. When we realize we’ve been settling, we discover what we actually believe. We learn that we perhaps think ourselves undeserving of happiness and find how susceptible we are to outside influences—because often we settle when others convince us it’s the right thing to do. Most important, we learn that we are not standing fully in our truth. Armed with this information, we can make new choices that support our desires—by beginning to believe that we can have what we really want.

##. Make room in your life for what you really deserve instead of settling for a comfortable compromise.

I have become wiser because of my mistakes

Moving-Forwardmaking mistakes

By Herbert Mtowo

Mistakes are great teachers. Success comes to those who are willing to risk making mistakes in the pursuit of a goal, and who are able to learn from those mistakes. And in order to learn from mistakes, you must be willing to pay for them.

If you are not making mistakes, you aren’t doing anything important. You probably aren’t learning anything, either, if everything you do is done perfectly every single time. Learning is a process of trial and error. No trial, no error, no learning.

When you look to others to pay for your mistakes, then you deprive yourself of the opportunity to learn from them. When something goes wrong, it’s usually very easy to find someone else to blame. But what does that really accomplish? Much of the value of mistakes comes from the fact that they exact a cost which must be paid. The person who learns the most from a mistake is the person who pays the price for that mistake.

The facts are irrefutable and beyond question. Mistakes are essential for learning, improvement, productivity and creativity. Mistakes supply feedback for corrective action, contingent options or improvements. If you make no mistakes, you rarely learn much.

Every time I’ve asked people to think of the most painful mistake ever made in their whole life and consider if they would wish the memory to be wiped out, they hesitate. When confronted with the choice of keeping their most painful memory or literally forgetting about it, having it removed from their minds so they will remember nothing about it, they always eventually answer, “no.” Their answer usually surprises them; but when you think about it, you realize that painful feedback is important feedback. You learned from it. The person you are today is a product of all those memories and experiences, good and bad, happy and sad, joyful and painful. Lose the memory of your painful mistake and you lose part of your identity, because that lesson made you who you are today.

No one is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes. Let’s learn from them rather than let them rule and ruin our lives. When you make a mistake, the last thing you want to do is run from it. Rather, own up to it. There is much value to be had when you claim it. The mistake has been made, so make the most of it. Pay the price, learn the lesson, and grow that much stronger.

What is your reason for existence?

Helen Keller once said,” It is a terrible thing to see and have no vision.”

Plan for your life

Plan for your life

Have you ever wondered how many silver BMWs you saw yesterday? Unless you drive a BMW, you probably didn’t notice any. But later today or tomorrow, after reading this, chances are you will notice several. Why? Because you always see what you’re looking for.
That being the case, it makes sense to look for the very best that life can offer. There are wonderful opportunities swirling around you at any given point in time. Open your eyes to them by deciding precisely what you desire to have or accomplish or become. We all hope for real success, achievements and solid great results. I still see everything in black and white regardless what business I am operating. Fluff does not get it done. It will not get me paid; it will not benefit those I am serving. One solid effort to establish business, brand and yourself is first clearly to know what you want to accomplish in your life: And that requires you to define your vision.
I cannot harp on a consistent vision enough. Many people think they have a vision, but in reality, they have a dream. These are two different things. A dreamer very rarely sees the desire in their mind happen in reality. Whereas visionaries have the ability not only to realize their vision but also make it transparent so others can clearly see it, as well. It becomes contagious, and others want to flock to help with it. So, the question remains whether we are genuinely able to accept our dream as more than just ideal wishing and actually believe it as the vision for our future. In essence, begin truly to accept what we see as WHERE we are going, not just thinking of it as somewhere we would like to be.
You do not honestly believe that you can have a thing until you begin to act like it. Let the miracles begin to take shape. I do not know how many times I checked on my goals from the previous six months and found they had materialized. Many of them are practical while some of them are quite unrealistic, but I do not stop until there is some fulfillment. You can look at the circumstance standing in your way, or you can simply see over the top. If you truly want to be great and realize vision you simply cannot be the person who gets caught up in the challenges, and quits moving forward. Don’t quit is more of an understatement, it’s about more than giving up.
Choose to see over the top at all times. Jesus said if you have faith like a mustard seed you can say to a mountain get up and be cast into the sea. When I was a child, I used to wonder about that verse quite a bit. I have never at any time in life or any moment in history books heard of someone throwing a mountain into the sea. So then Jesus is talking about something else, in that portion of the bible. My Lord, Jesus Christ is clearly talking about the obstacles that are in our way when we are facing huge challenges. The obstacles in your life can be removed, but they want you to be persistent and tenacious all the way..
Napoleon Hill said it perfectly in his book, Think and Grow Rich: “Remember, no more effort is required to aim high in life, to accept abundance and prosperity, than it is to accept misery and poverty.”
We refer to some people as having “vision.” These are people who have clearly defined objectives. We call it “vision” because those objectives give them the ability to see things no one else can see. Directing your intentions can truly open your eyes. What are you seeing? What are you missing? What are you all about? Decide that, and you’ll develop the vision to see the many opportunities all around you.
Choose to keep moving on purpose; heading toward that grand destination. Do not hang around in that place of fear, doubt, worry and uncertainty for too long. Understand remarkably little effort is required to move the giant obstacles that seem so insurmountable. MANY people only see the mountain, sit down, and choose to go no further. They get discouraged and scared, when in all reality, its normal, and continuous forward progress must win out.
Do not be that guy or girl who gives up. It is only when you let the mountain defeat you that you become defeated. Get your vision up in front of you, organize, strategize and understand that there unquestionably is greatness in you and it wants to emerge. Let it out. Do it consistently and keep achieving; that is succeeding forever my beloved friends.

LIVE A LIFE OF POSSIBILITIES

LIVE A LIFE OF POSSIBILITIES.

Communication tools that saved our marriage

By Rob Flood

We were blissfully in love and thrilled to be on our honeymoon. Then came day five—we had our first argument. That put us on a slippery slope moving swiftly toward desperation. Within the first nine months of our marriage, Gina and I were both convinced that we not only married the wrong person, but also were condemned to a loveless marriage.
One very tangible side effect of our difficulties was poor communication. I would ask, “What’s for dinner?” She would hear, “I can’t believe you haven’t prepared dinner again tonight!”
She would say, “What time are you coming home?” I would hear, “You better get here and help me because you’re never here.”
We could not express anything we wanted to. We resorted to hurting each other with our words. We did not build each other up … we tore each other down and caused deep, emotional pain. Quite honestly, we had endured so much hurt that we could not see any hope for ever communicating well. Our despair was overwhelming.
In counseling we began learning about intentional communication. I remember thinking, “That is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. This stuff is so simple … I can’t believe I’m paying this guy for this.”
But, once I got off of my high horse, I realized something very simple yet profound: If communication was really that simple, everyone would be doing it and all of our communication would glorify God and reflect His image (1 Peter 4:11; Ephesians 4:29). Glorifying God did not describe my communication, and it may not describe yours either. In fact, many of us struggle to communicate well even with those we love the most: our siblings, our parents, our children, our spouse.
The road I took to learn about communication was a tough one. Here are some of the tools that helped transform my marriage and change my heart.
1. The Principle of First Response: The course of a conflict is not determined by the person who initiates, but by the person who responds.
You may feel it’s okay to strike at someone verbally because, “He is picking a fight with me.” You may be correct, but that person does not have the power to decide whether a fight actually occurs. That power rests with the responder. As Proverbs 15:1 says, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”
Jesus has a well-worn track record with the Principle of First Response. Recall the times that the Scribes and the Pharisees came to question Him. They were the initiators in nearly all of their communication. Their intention was to defraud Jesus and corner Him. In how many cases were they successful? None. They failed because the power to decide the direction of each conflict rested with Jesus, the responder (Luke 20:19-26).
The implications of following Jesus’ example were huge. My wife’s sin did not give me free license to sin in return. And conversely, my sin did not give Gina free license either. By following the principle of first response, we were being called to take a poorly spoken comment and redirect it.
2. The Principle of Physical Touch: It is difficult to sin against someone while you are tenderly touching him or her.
A difficult time to apply this principle is after an argument has begun. However, a perfect time is when you know you are about to sit down and have a discussion about something that might lead to tension.
You know what those topics are in your marriage. Maybe it’s a conversation about a specific child. Maybe it’s your in-laws or your finances. For us, as you might imagine, it was when we sat down to talk about our communication. Those were tough conversations.
During these times, we would sit down and pray together … and touch. Usually we were at opposite ends of the couch with Gina’s legs stretched out across mine while I held them. (You may prefer holding hands or sitting close enough that you naturally touch.)
As we talked, we would inevitably notice something. When our conversation began to drift toward conflict, we stopped touching. We found what I’m certain you’ll find: It is very difficult to fight with someone you are tenderly touching. So, we had a choice at that point: to stop fighting so we could keep touching or to stop touching so we could keep fighting.
This type of tender touching has served us in two ways. First, it is a deterrent from arguing. Second, when we do drift into an argument, our physical separation is a visual and physical cue that our conversation is no longer glorifying God. We notice it, correct it, and get back on the right track.
3. The Principle of Proper Timing: The success of a conversation can be maximized if the timing of the conversation is carefully chosen.
The book of Proverbs tells us, “A man finds joy in giving an apt reply—and how good is a timely word!” (15:23).
Typically, the first opportunity Gina and I have to talk about the day is at dinner. We often take time then to catch up. With four young children, our dinner table is an active and busy one. Consequently, we cannot practically have an extended and meaningful conversation.
So, if something has occurred that I must discuss with Gina, I will wait until the children are asleep. To bring it up during dinner is to invite frustration and ineffectiveness.
Let’s look at a couple of scenarios where we’re more likely to fail.
Gina is a very intentional homemaker and often has wonderful ideas on how to better serve our family. Let’s say she is contemplating a new approach to family dining. She’s been thinking through this for weeks and she’s now ready to get my input. This is a very good thing—but probably not at 1:30 on a Sunday afternoon when I’m watching a football game.
I’m also prone to fall into the poor timing trap. For example, Gina and I could be downstairs enjoying normal conversation. We head upstairs at 11:30 p.m. and Gina is ready for bed. As the lights go out, I ask, “What do you think God is doing with the children?” This is a question Gina would love for me to ask … about three hours earlier. When 11:30 comes, she’s ready for bed—not an extensive discussion.
There are times when a conversation is critical to have at that very moment. In those cases, of course, the football game goes off and we talk. Or, the lights go back on and we’re up until 2 a.m. However, those should be the exceptions rather than the rule. The majority of the time, we should be more strategic in the timing of our conversations.
4. The Principle of Mirroring: Understanding can be enhanced if we measure it often throughout a conversation.
The Scriptures inform us that, if we are to understand and become wise, we must be sure to incline our ears. Proverbs 22:17 states, “Incline your ear and hear the words of the wise, and apply your mind to my knowledge.”
Have you ever meant one thing by what you said but the person you were talking to heard something else? It can make for very frustrating communication. If you’re not sure if your spouse is getting what you’re talking about, check to see if you hear this phrase a lot: “What do you mean by that?”
Mirroring can help you test whether you are hearing your spouse properly. Once your spouse makes a point … repeat it to him or her. Say something like this: “So, what I hear you saying is …” or, “Are you saying … ?” Then, in your own words, tell your spouse what you understand to have been said. Then, the most important part of mirroring comes. You must allow your spouse to either affirm or correct what you’ve said.
As we learned this principle, I often didn’t like Gina’s negative or inaccurate summaries of my statements. So, I defended them and failed to allow her the freedom to speak honestly. In time, I learned that her summaries actually were quite accurate; my reactions were negative because I didn’t like how they exposed me.
The point of mirroring is not to be right, not to defend yourself, but to know that you are hearing accurately. If you seek to understand rather than to make yourself understood, then you are primed for success with the principle of mirroring.
5. The Principle of Prayer: Success in communication is more likely when we invite God to be an active participant and guide.
This principle is not complicated, but it requires our close attention. We’ve become so accustomed to hearing about prayer that its importance often passes us by.
No matter what principle you might be using at the time or what subject you might be talking about, no scenario is beyond prayer. I have tended to overestimate my own ability to communicate well and righteously. That was evidenced in our first year of marriage.
We will eventually and inevitably sin in our communication with each other. When it begins to drift away from God’s intended purpose for it, we have a choice: Will we be puffed up with pride or will we have the humility to stop right where we are and ask God to help redeem our conversation?
I wish someone would have shared with me what late 19th and early 20th century evangelist R.A. Torrey said on prayer:
The reason why many fail in battle is because they wait until the hour of battle. The reason why others succeed is because they have gained their victory on their knees long before the battle came … Anticipate your battles; fight them on your knees before temptation comes, and you will always have victory.
One of the greatest difficulties that couples face with this principle is awkwardness. They are not used to praying together. So, as they begin to like each other less in the midst of nonconstructive communication, the thought of praying together is not very appealing.
We learned an easy fix to this … start praying together. Begin with 30 seconds of prayer as you go to bed each night. Pray regularly as a family prior to eating. Pick one night a week to pray for your children, your pastor, and your marriage. Among the enormous benefits that you’ll see in your family, the regularity of prayer will make praying in the midst of communication breakdown more probable.
The transformation never ends
As a result of God’s grace intersecting with these principles, communication is now among the greatest strengths of our marriage. It’s not that we don’t still mess up—we do. Thankfully, God continues to work on me. He’ll continue to work on you, too.
At one time, I was convinced that I married the wrong woman. She was convinced she married the wrong man. Now, we cannot imagine knowing, loving, or enjoying anyone more than we do each other.
Your relationship with your spouse may differ from ours, but this much is true: Your spouse should be the single most important person you have in your life. Like it or not, communication is the tool that God has given us to knit our hearts and our minds together. Success is possible if we’re willing to apply some intentional principles. We’ve all been called to God-honoring communication. Step forward in humility and faith and watch Him transform you.