Coach Herbert

Procrastination kills dreams, and it’s the number one reason people fail to do their goals.  If you take time to sit with me and listen to me share my life experiences, you’ll realize that, I was once a victim of procrastination big time. “I wasn’t sure what to do first,” “I didn’t feel like it”and“I just didn’t have time” and now I can boldly tell you these are all unfortunately  lame excuses that lead you to poverty or depression. Don’t let your dream life slip away simply because you kept putting it off.

For a moment have ever thought, “Why do the majority of people procrastinate on living their life?” It seems as though many people don’t take action on what they truly want for their life. There is a severe epidemic of life procrastination that has swept the globe. People don’t go after the dreams they want, the goals they want, they job they want, the marriage they want, and the life that they want. Are you going to be a coward and procrastinate on living the life that you can live?

Procrastination is, “The act or habit of procrastinating, or putting off or delaying, especially something requiring immediate attention.” Don’t put your future or life on hold, or let it waste away until you become too old to do anything about what is meant to be yours. Life is way too short. Look around. Read the obituaries. And the one big issue that gets in the way of us reaching our potential and having a fantastic life is, Procrastination. It’ll suck the life right out of you in no time flat. Let’s combat it, together

Many people put off doing what needs to be done because they are too busy engaging in nothing, the majority are doing nothing with their days but getting entertained by the clowns on TV. Don’t just sit around watching other people living the life of their dreams, you must get up and take action today. Today is the day that you get on a new path of greatness. Go after all that you want, what are you waiting for, do you not know that success is up to you, it is your responsibility to live today. Are you going to wait until you are 60 years old to live, what a waste that shall be? Old age is not promised to anyone.

Don’t people get tired of living the same year over and over, it is as though people are blind to their mediocrity? Get up and get in the game of success, the majority are in the game of failure, it takes nothing to be like everyone else, doing the same old nonsense day after day. Everyone says they want to be successful and they want to be wealthy, what a bloody lie, your grind proves what you are serious about. People don’t read the books on success, they don’t listen to the personal development and motivational videos, they don’t go to the seminars, they don’t surround themselves with ambitious people, they don’t do anything that is aligned to success and then people say they are serious, no you are not. Successful people are serious and that is reflected in their time, effort and investment in success, look at what you invest in, do you invest in success or failure, do not lie to yourself. There are only two types of people in this world, the ones who do and the ones who do not.

If you want to change your life up you need to become a doer and take action every damn day, you need to put in the work and continue until you get to where you want to be. For how many more years are you going to procrastinate on doing what you need to do, for how long shall you continue on the path of mediocrity, 90% of the world are not serious about life improvement but they are serious about life procrastination, the difference between the winners and the losers is action. Get up and set your goals, plans and deadlines, and go to work on them today. There are only five to six main areas in life that demand your attention, focus on what matters most and cut those things that do not.

Start by doing the small tasks straight away no matter what it is, master the small tasks and then you can master the big tasks in life. Stop watching so much TV and entertainment, focus on self-education and personal development. Free up time that you waste on meaningless things for success orientated tasks.

I hope and pray that his article will push you to start on a new path, forget the past, it’s time to change and take it up to a new level. You have to separate yourself from the crowd and be a person of action. One year from now you can be wherever you want to be if you get up and take action. Believe in yourself, you have all that you need within you but you must bring it forth by going to work on yourself. If you do not get on the path of success you will be resigned to a life of mediocrity. The choice is yours. Get up and take action, you can achieve anything with hard work and dedication.

Oftentimes, when we procrastinate, we get into the “woe is me” mindset.  Stop spending so much time worrying about “why not me” and make opportunities happen for yourself!  Adopt a “Right Now” attitude.  When you set aside time to work on your goal, get into the habit of focusing on what’s important now.  Things will never be perfect, and the time will never be just right.  So don’t be afraid to just go for it, and do it now!

If you keep putting off important tasks that bring you closer to reaching your goals, this bad habit alone could kill your dreams!  Don’t let it!  Quit procrastinating, step into greatness by kicking procrastination out of your life and take action NOW!

Join the C-Team-Champions and be a certified Champion and a winner all the way.

Is it honor or shame love or war?

Herbert Mtowo

Honor and change are in the life of humanity but one has to realize booth of them when they have come and walk in their fullness thereof. Such is the world of humanity that many have missed such. But this I have realized and noticed among-st people, the refusal to give honor and accept change when needed, as in regards to Gender based Violence against women and children, though no statistics’ states that there is a growing number of men suffering in silence also. Many choose to stay in abusive relationships because they have been lied to that walking away will bring shame, but what shame is it when one is already going through it while faking honor of marriage and love.
Sad in my opinion governments and politicians, those legally empowered to deal with such aren’t doing enough or more to curb this evil. The pit of relationship hell must be domestic violence as it corrodes both your emotional and physical strength. Your body hurts but so do your emotions and your heart. You feel violated physically and emotionally but fear, unworthiness and a glimmer of optimism battle for a place in your life. And this conflicting well of emotions is what mobilizes you? So what can you do to escape domestic violence? How do you find the courage to leave?

Be real! To find the courage to escape domestic violence you must take an honest look at your relationship and the emotions that it evokes.

You have that nagging feeling that your partner will change and because they act extra nice after the violence you hang your confused emotions on this. But you have been here before and they have not changed. Why do you think that they will change now? What is your confidence based on? Your abusive partner’s word? Has your abusive partner kept their word not to abuse you before? So why is today’s promise from them any different? To get the courage to leave you must be honest with yourself and realize that your partner will not change and if you do not leave this domestic violence will kill you emotionally and maybe physically.

Maybe you are afraid that your abusive spouse will get so angry if you leave that they will become even more abusive than usual. They have trained you well with their violence so that you are now planned to avoid making them angry. You will do anything not to make them angry. But again you have been here before; have all your efforts not to make them angry worked? Has all the walking on eggshells and fawning over them worked at stopping their violence toward you? Do you not realize that you cannot keep the peace with them as they are on the war path just waiting to pounce on you at the slightest hint of imagined wrong? Your fear of more abuse just keeps you in a place to get even more violence.

When your spouse was first violent toward you, you felt incredible shame and so you hid this horrendous thing from your family and friends. And this was your first mistake because in a sick and perverted way it bound you to your abusive spouse as you now shared this incredibly horrible secret. You are ashamed that the person who is supposed to love you most in the world is raining such pain on you. You need to know that hiding shame does cut it and it in fact magnifies it in your life and makes the prison that you built for yourself from it even stronger. To get the courage to escape from domestic violence you need to let someone you trust and who cares for you and who can lend you their support know what it is that you are facing in your marriage.

An offshoot of domestic violence is a deep feeling of worthlessness. You feel like somehow you don’t deserve to be treated better by your spouse. This is due to what your partner says when they abuse you as well as the shame you feel. To escape domestic violence you need to remember how you felt about yourself before the abuse started or to imagine how it would feel if you didn’t have this cloud of violent abuse hanging over your life every single day of your life.

To escape domestic violence one must find the courage to leave their abusive spouse. And to find this courage one must counter the lies and flawed attitudes that they now have so that they can draw strength from the truth. Poverty is one of the reasons why women stay in abusive relationships and sad that most empowerment programs in Africa favor the men most and women become marginalized and can’t access the resources that would allow them to be able to make decisions not based on need and dependency but from a place or reality and strength.

Get you honor and walk away from any forms of abuse in a relationship, many have struggled to recover even though the physical scars have healed but the emotional damage has taken them a lifetime to walk tall and confidently again. Shame is keeping the abuse all in the name of feeling honored by society and culture, Honor is standing tall and refusing to be silent no more about abuse, whether you being the victim or someone else.




BY HERBERT MTOWO Life has a way of making us learn when we least excpet to at times.Others choose to sit and wait to die or see their future blown up in smoke,because they have not been afforded the opportunity.Hope will see you througH,1to prove their worth.Right now it’s tough to not feel like a victim. So many events seem to be beyond our control, and so many consequences of the decisions of others appear to have cost so many so much. It’s an easy time to choose to blame others and let events just carry us along- the perfect example of a victim. And an awful lot of people will do that, and be the poorer for it. They will stop trying to swim upstream, and instead let the current carry them where it may, and they will feel out of control and blame it on things outside themselves. They are victims of events. And victims want every one else to be a victim too – it proves they’re right about their own behavior. They will have chosen to be a victim – even though most would deny it. Others choose to be victors. Faced with the same events and circumstances and consequences and outcomes as victims, they will continue to swim upstream – possibly more slowly and with more effort, but still working their way toward their goals. They know it may take longer, it may be tougher, but they choose to stand and fight, rather than let themselves be overcome by events. They take action – sometimes actions that seem so small – but they know that only action leads to results. And in doing that they often find opportunities that they couldn’t have dreamed of, but exist because of the very circumstances that turn others into victims. As Steve Schiffmann says in his book Make It Happen Before Lunch, “dwell in possibility, there is always a door somewhere waiting to be opened.” Victors are optimists, opportunists,are takers of action.. What I have shared above reminds me of Demba Ba,who seven years ago failed trials at English lightweights Barnsley and things were so bad for the budding Senegalese forward that only a French Third Division side, Rouen, could offer him refuge. Earlier trials at French clubs Lyon and Auxerre had also ended in failure for Ba. Another English lightweight, Watford, were not so sure and, to minimise their risk, offered him a one-year contract in 2005 but after manager Ray Lewington was fired, his replacement Aidy Boothroyd felt Ba wasn’t good enough, and froze him out of the first team. He quit and moved to the French Third Division from where he was signed by Belgian club, Mouscron, in 2006 but, after scoring in each of his first three games, Ba fractured his tibia and fibula and was out of action for eight months. He arrived at English Premiership side, Stoke City, last year and failed his medicals, the second time this had happened in his career, after an intended move to German side Vfb Stuttgart in July 2009, also collapsed after he failed a medical. Noone at either Stoke or Vfb Stuttgart has disclosed to the world the nature of Ba’s medical shortcomings.But shortly after his Stoke ordeal, Ba was whisked away by his agents to try his luck at West Ham United and was signed.Given all the drama that has gone on in his career, from the heartbreak of his rejection at Lyon, Auxerre and Barnsley, the cold treatment at Watford, the injury curse at Mouscron, the failed medicals at Stoke and Stuttgart, you would be forgiven to wonder how Ba has kept going all these years. And, given the explosive success he has enjoyed at West Ham and Newcastle United, you will be right to wonder what the hell was going on in the minds of all the managers at Lyon, Auxerre and Barnsley who decided he wasn’t good enough. Given the prolonged spell that he has completed leading the line at West Ham and at Newcastle, and staying healthy all the time, while taking a lot of the brutality that comes with the defensive hardmen employed specifically to stop him scoring goals, you will be right to wonder what the hell was going on at Stoke when they announced he had failed a medical.Ba scored seven goals in 12 games for West Ham last season before leaving the club, after his goals failed to save them from relegation, thanks to a clause that allowed him to go elsewhere for free in the event that the Hammers had been relegated. He has scored 15 goals, in 19 appearances, for Newcastle United and, on Wednesday the 4th of January 2012 , he struck a beauty against Manchester United that sent his stock sky-rocketing and, in an instant, turned him into the striker the whole world was talking about.Ba turns 27 on May 25 next year and, even if you are not Senegalese, you can’t help but take a bow for this remarkable marksman, if not for his goals that have made waves, then for his incredible life story in which his courageous fight to defy the odds heavily staked against him. I like Demba Ba, even after all the torture that he put me through as a die-hard United fan on Wednesday night, because he represents the greatness, on the sporting fieldsand in life that we as human beings can achieve as long as we keep focused on pursuing our goals. In life attitude is everything.Is your glass half empty or half full? When was the last time you tuned in to your personal attitude barometer?The only difference between being a victim and being a victor is your attitude toward the situation.Life happens; it is as good or as bad as you make it.It is a personal choice to let small things ruin your day.You run out of coffee creamer or your favorite shirt is dirty.Even getting laid off at work or watching your portfolio diminish really pale in comparison to having someone else decide your fate, as in Demba ba`s situation. Now and again, Demba Ba stumbled upon a number of difficult managers who probably didn’t like him/his dark features and rather than judge him on substance they decided to judge him on the colour of his skin and told him he had failed trials at Barnsley, of all teams folks, Auxerre, and all the funny teams. Someone at Stoke City decided he was not medically fit to play at the Britannia and told him to try his luck elsewhere, although chances of him succeeding were very minimal,but we now know that he was medically okay and chances of him succeeding were very, very good.There are some people who seem to breeze through life, rejoicing from one triumph to the next,that`s Demba Ba for you folks.But by contrast, there are others who never quite make it, and always have a reason why life has dealt them a hard blow. Society is made up of victors and victims, and the difference can very often be boiled down to one key factor – attitude. Use today to pay attention to the things that you use as an excuse to be a victim.You can allow a betrayal in a relationship,to leave you forever feeling Hope will see you throughwounded,sulky,bitter and spiteful or use it as an opportunity to improve yourself and find a more meaningful relationship.Believe you me it hurts and cuts deep to have a heart break,but as they say its not the end of the world,embrace pain as a schoolmaster into greatness. You can mourn a job loss or use the opportunity to pursue your passion and create the life of your dreams.Need some inspiration and motivation to give your attitude a 180?To be a victor requires courage, goals that keep victors pointed toward where they want to go, and an understanding that they may not be able to control all the things that happen to them, but they sure can choose how they deal with them. Victors keep control of their responses. They have their bad days – weeks – months -years but they persist.Demba Ba has set the English Premier League aligt with hi scoring prowess,but he persisted were others wavered and chickened out. And in doing so they win in the game of life. Regardless where you are right now, choose to grab hold of whatever it is that you really want, set your plan to get it, and act. You’ll be better for it – I guarantee you.Choose to face your pain,loss,rejection and refuse to form a sorry me and pitty me Social Club.

Abuse in Relationships defined.

Abuse in Relationships-What is it?

By Herbert Mtowo

There was a time when the word abuse was mostly linked with sex. An abused child was usually one who had been molested by a father or step father. But today the word has come to mean any act which is unacceptable to a spouse. This has reached a place of even being absurd.  A man raises his voice to his wife in anger, and he is accused of abuse. Probably the main reason or excuse given today for divorce is this word abuse. One would think that the Scriptures would speak out clearly on this. You would expect Jesus to have said, “A woman may not divorce her husband except in the case of abuse.”  Yet this is the first thing many women accuse their husbands of in suing for divorce.
So before we can look at this subject closely we must be clear on what we mean by abuse. God’s Word is clear on the roles of a husband and wife. Each has a responsibility in the marriage. When either partner fails to fulfill their role correctly, the marriage is affected. If I were to use the word abuse in a marriage, I would use it to describe the failure of each partner. So before you go accusing your spouse of abuse, begin by looking at your own beam first. You might find that your actions are what lit the flame. And you are just reaping what you sowed. I will look shortly at how each partner can abuse their role. And then, once we understand exactly what abuse is, we can look at some solutions. You will learn what to do when your spouse has failed. You should know how to respond to this God’s way. Then with some new weapons to use, you can overcome this problem in your marriage. You can continue to have a happy marriage by dealing with all abuse as it comes up. If you do it the right way, you might find a new honeymoon beginning. You will end up more in love than before. And you will soon forget all the bad things that have happened.

Abuse is in many forms, and is not good for the health of any relationship, it should be dealt with, and victims’ should get counseling and support to recover from the trauma. In the next article I will deal with the several forms of abuse in relationships, strange enough both male and women are perpetrators. Watch the next article as I continue abuse, how to deal with it, how to recover, how to find abuse tendencies in your partner. There are several causes of abuse, of which I will deal with so that everybody people are fully informed. Despite the reasons by many, there is never a justification for abuse, in any form, whether sexually, physically, verbally; psychologically etc the list is long. Both men and women should be schooled enough to deal with differences, handle forms of pressure in relationships, finance, sex, children, career and all. 

Abuse in relationships

There are so many forms of abuse in relationships,

  • Psychological Abuse
  • Sexual Abuse
  • Emotional Abuse
  • Verbal Abuse
  • Physical Abuse
  • Economical Abuse

And many others which I will deal with in the next articles. This is a terrible evil in society today for so many reasons, alcohol, drugs, culture, untreated stress, depression, and several others are great triggers and contribute most to abuse. We will look at how best to help the victims of abuse, the perpetrators themselves, but the reality of it is that we have so much of it going on around and society has been quiet or not sure of how  best to respond to this modern-day evil. We have to deal with it and bring awareness to society about this terrible modern minister. But the truth of the mater is there is no excuse for abuse of any form or kind, no matter the reasons and justifications, which some culture want us to understand. Women are meant to be loved, adored, cherished and appreciated. I challenge society and all men, to expose this evil and kick it out of our marriages, homes, relationships, workplaces and community. The first step to dealing with abuse effectively is for us to acknowledge its existence in our society, homes and workplaces today.

To be continued