Abuse in Relationships-What is it?
By Herbert Mtowo
There was a time when the word abuse was mostly linked with sex. An abused child was usually one who had been molested by a father or step father. But today the word has come to mean any act which is unacceptable to a spouse. This has reached a place of even being absurd. A man raises his voice to his wife in anger, and he is accused of abuse. Probably the main reason or excuse given today for divorce is this word abuse. One would think that the Scriptures would speak out clearly on this. You would expect Jesus to have said, “A woman may not divorce her husband except in the case of abuse.” Yet this is the first thing many women accuse their husbands of in suing for divorce.
So before we can look at this subject closely we must be clear on what we mean by abuse. God’s Word is clear on the roles of a husband and wife. Each has a responsibility in the marriage. When either partner fails to fulfill their role correctly, the marriage is affected. If I were to use the word abuse in a marriage, I would use it to describe the failure of each partner. So before you go accusing your spouse of abuse, begin by looking at your own beam first. You might find that your actions are what lit the flame. And you are just reaping what you sowed. I will look shortly at how each partner can abuse their role. And then, once we understand exactly what abuse is, we can look at some solutions. You will learn what to do when your spouse has failed. You should know how to respond to this God’s way. Then with some new weapons to use, you can overcome this problem in your marriage. You can continue to have a happy marriage by dealing with all abuse as it comes up. If you do it the right way, you might find a new honeymoon beginning. You will end up more in love than before. And you will soon forget all the bad things that have happened.
Abuse is in many forms, and is not good for the health of any relationship, it should be dealt with, and victims’ should get counseling and support to recover from the trauma. In the next article I will deal with the several forms of abuse in relationships, strange enough both male and women are perpetrators. Watch the next article as I continue abuse, how to deal with it, how to recover, how to find abuse tendencies in your partner. There are several causes of abuse, of which I will deal with so that everybody people are fully informed. Despite the reasons by many, there is never a justification for abuse, in any form, whether sexually, physically, verbally; psychologically etc the list is long. Both men and women should be schooled enough to deal with differences, handle forms of pressure in relationships, finance, sex, children, career and all.
Abuse in relationships
There are so many forms of abuse in relationships,
- Psychological Abuse
- Sexual Abuse
- Emotional Abuse
- Verbal Abuse
- Physical Abuse
- Economical Abuse
And many others which I will deal with in the next articles. This is a terrible evil in society today for so many reasons, alcohol, drugs, culture, untreated stress, depression, and several others are great triggers and contribute most to abuse. We will look at how best to help the victims of abuse, the perpetrators themselves, but the reality of it is that we have so much of it going on around and society has been quiet or not sure of how best to respond to this modern-day evil. We have to deal with it and bring awareness to society about this terrible modern minister. But the truth of the mater is there is no excuse for abuse of any form or kind, no matter the reasons and justifications, which some culture want us to understand. Women are meant to be loved, adored, cherished and appreciated. I challenge society and all men, to expose this evil and kick it out of our marriages, homes, relationships, workplaces and community. The first step to dealing with abuse effectively is for us to acknowledge its existence in our society, homes and workplaces today.
To be continued