Have you been dumped, betrayed or left so heartbroken that you didn’t ever want to love again I have been there before; I know how difficult a place it is to be. Are you still stuck on an ex and don’t know how to move on? And how do you know when it’s time to let go and look for love somewhere else?

If you’re “the other woman” who’s waiting for a man to leave his lover, don’t waste your time. “If he’ll do it with you, he’ll do it to you,” Listen good people. The man you want lacks integrity and can’t make a commitment.

Don’t hold all men or all women, responsible for the mistake your ex made. Why should he pay for the sins of someone else who may have wronged you?

Learn to trust again — by trusting yourself. A man who’s having a hard time letting women back into his life: “Trust is not about how much you trust one person or another to do right or wrong. How much you trust another person depends on how much you trust yourself to be strong enough to deal with their imperfections.” Have enough faith in yourself to be able to put yourself on the line with someone, without any guarantee of what will happen next. If you’re playing the game with sweaty palms, it’s because you’re afraid of what you can or can’t do, or dealing with your own imperfections — it’s not about the other person.

Know that you will get hurt if you’re in a relationship. There is no perfect person without flaws. Even a well-intended guy is going to hurt his partner. He’s going to hurt your feelings. He’s going to say things that you don’t want him to say. He’s going to do things you wish he wouldn’t do and not do things you wish he would do. A relationship is an imperfect union between two willing spirits who say, ”I’d rather be in a relationship and share my life, share my joys, share my fun, share my activities, share my life than do it alone.” If you want to be in a relationship, know that getting hurt comes with the territory. You just have to decide that you are durable enough, that you have enough confidence in yourself that you can handle it.

Don’t wait around because you think he’s going to change. The best predictor of future behaviour is past behaviour, so the chance that he’s going to ride in on his white horse and do the right thing is pretty slim. This I say to you all, “To the extent that there’s some history, you don’t have to speculate, you just have to measure.”

Don’t put your life on hold. Every minute you spend focusing on your ex is a minute that’s holding you back from a better future. “As long you are obsessed on this guy, you will never put your heart, soul and mind into getting your life in order and starting another relationship if you want one.” Set some goals and start putting your life back together.

Don’t beat yourself up. You got through your last experience, you’ve learned from it, and now it’s time to move forward. “You’ll move on and be a champion in your next attempt as you did in your past … Life is not a success-only journey. You are going to get beat up along the way.”

Ask yourself: Are you hiding in the relationship so you don’t have to face the reality of being on your own? Don’t stay with someone because it’s comfortable and safe. It may seem more secure, but it’s not healthy for you and it certainly won’t help you get to a better place. Why would you want to settle and waste your life away just to avoid getting back in the game?

All of us come into relationships with baggage, but you need to have closure on past experiences before you can start a new relationship with the odds in your favor.”Unless and until you’ve figured out everything you’ve got to figure out about that and you get closure, you will never come into a relationship with a fresh and clean heart and mind and expectancy and attitude.” You’re probably not ready to get into another relationship until you heal the wounds of your past.

There’s a 50/50 chance a marriage is going to work if both people are head over heels in love, passionate and willing to climb the mountain, swim the river and slay the dragon to get to each other. That’s with everybody crazy in love and running toward each other in that field that we see in the commercials. The problem you’ve got here is he’s running the other way in the field! So if it’s 50/50 when you’re running toward each other, what do you think it is when the other person is running out of the field and hiding in the woods?”

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Changing through growth

I recently mourned the death of one of my PRECIOUS friend,and am reminded of my brother`S DEATH,after I attended his memorial service. As I listened to the wonderful comments made by so many as to the kind of person he was, I stopped for a moment to look inside myself to see who I am.I have always believed that my brother could have easily become the undisputed World Boxing Champion,even during the times of Iron Mike,Lewis,Ali,George Foreman,but something just didn`t click to get there,sad he died with those dreams not accomplished.I don`t wanna die with massive potential locked up within me,I must unleaSH the greatness in me. There was enormous room for growth in my life. Is there room for improvement in your life? Let us take a moment to learn how we can grow to become the person we hope to be.

We all want to be the best that we can be. We sometimes see others and admire certain characteristic traits about them. We have read volumes of self-help books in hopes of fine tuning ourselves. True many of these books help but self-growth goes way beyond reading books. It means we must stop wishing for change and becomes proactive in creating the change. Self-growth is about change and the change begins with us.

In order for change to take place within you, you must first define your goals. Know what changes you want to make. You are aware of the qualities you want to discard from your life. Write them down. Here are some ways to begin to do some introspective work to help you to define the changes you want to make in your life.
• Make a list of some habits you’ve often wanted to change.
• Do you know how you are perceived? Try to get a feel of how others think of you. Make a note of how you want to be perceived and how to can change your behavior to make that.
• Make mental notes of how you treat others. Do you walk away feeling good that you have treated that person you met . Do you feel good when you walk away?
• Think back to criticisms you have received in the past. Do you think there may have been some truth to them? Are you objective enough to see the true you?
• Speak to an objective friend or family member you trust to be fair and honest with you. Get some feedback on how you are perceived.
• Observe the behaviors of those you admire and make a note. Do you see those same characteristics in you?
• Make a note of behaviors you see in others that you dislike and look within to see if you share any of those traits. Try to be balanced. Make a list of the ones you want to change.

Take personal Introspection

True we have to love and accept ourselves unconditionally but we must always strive to be the best that we can be. That is how we grow. Self-acceptance should in no way interfere with your ability to be your best. As a matter of fact it should have the reverse effect. It should allow you to know the real you and to have an awareness of where you need to make changes. This awareness will decide how serious you are in growing beyond your current limits. Keep in mind that personal growth can be measured in physical, mental, psychological, spiritual, and emotional amplitude.
Take a moment now to check your life. Look inside to check the areas where you would like to improve on.
• Define your character. Who are you when no one is looking? remove all the window dressings, frills, and accessories, who are you?
• How is your health? Are you doing everything possible to take care of your body? Do you eat the right foods and take part in a regular exercise routine?
• How would your friends, coworkers, people who come in contact describe you? What would people say about you if they had to write your eulogy?
• How is your mind? Are you emotionally strong? Is your self-confidence and self-esteem at an all time high? If not would you like to find emotional balance?
• How is your spiritual health? Do you feed your spiritual need? How is your soul’s condition?
• How do you treat others? Are you kind or are you condescending to people? Do you give of your time to help others that are less fortunate or has self-centeredness consumed you?
• How is your ego? Is it intact?
• Are you humble or are you into flaunting it or showing off?
• Are you a good parent? Do your yell at your kids? Do you put in the time with them to raise emotionally balanced children? Do you help to build strong self-esteem so they can have higher levels of self-acceptance?

As you look inside it is important to understand that no single recipe that defines how each person can grow personally. It is not a single formula for each of us. It is through fervent introspection and an acceptance for change that it can begin. Even though it may be slow and difficult at first, you must have the willingness to keep at it no matter if it takes a lifetime. Remember you are not trying to do perfection – you are only striving to do your personal best

Humility a vital place to live.

In order for one to grow, one must be humble enough to recognize and accept the areas where improvement is needed. This sense of humility will create honest introspection that can make us more aware of the characteristics and behaviors we need to improve on. This kind of humility puts ego aside, creating open-mindedness to accept constructive criticism. When we can humble ourselves this way than tremendous personal growth can begin to take place in our lives.
With a spirit of humility you can:
• Lose self-centeredness
• Better understand yourself and why you do the things you do
• Better understand your behavior and accept the need for change
• Recognize your mistakes and accept responsibility for your actions.
• Recognize the goodness in you
• Become more understanding of others
• Be more forgiving

Humility is the beginning of knowledge. It is the start of that mindset to gain more wisdom and improve self. The know-it-all attitude is laid to rest, enabling honest introspection, which promotes growth.

Grow inside and become yourself

Once you have humbled yourself, done the honest self-reflection, and gained the awareness, find the areas where you need to improve. You must believe that you can do the personal growth you want and let go of self-doubt.

• Make a list of the things you want to personally do. Prioritize the list and select the most urgent issue.
• Learn everything there is to know about it, whether it is losing weight, letting go of anger, or improving your spiritual life. The more information you have, the more motivation and determination you will develop.

• As you become more educated in your subject, decide if you can carry out these changes alone or if you need the help of a professional or expert in the field to help you. Getting help is positive step toward achieving personal growth so don’t feel inadequate if you need help. It is only we feel we don’t need help that growth ceases.

• Develop a plan for achieving your goal. It must be clearly organized starting from a long-term goal to daily tasks that move you closer each day toward your goal. So if it’s in the area of physical health, make a plan for doing so.

• When discomforts arise, don’t give up. Everyday is not going to be perfect. You are not going to wake up each morning enthusiastic about your plans for that day. When you do, don’t be too hard on yourself. It is during these times that a coach or a can help you in staying on target. They can help you to refocus on your plan and exercise the discipline to stick with it.

• Daily positive affirmations and self-talk are necessary to keep up the motivation to grow. This is not narcissism or egotistical. This is only you giving yourself reminders of your positive attributes.

• Have faith to believe that you will succeed. In anything we set out to do in life it takes a certain level of faith to keep going everyday. Sometimes we cannot see the instant rewards but with persistence and faith to believe things will work out, you can find the strength to stay the course.

It is an admirable quality to be able to find the areas you need to make changes in your life and even more commendable to take the steps forward to do so. Personal Growth is a catalyst for success in every aspect of your life. Many of you are making strides each day in your personal growth. For those of you who are, keep at it and savor each stage of your growth. For those of you recognizing the need for personal growth, hats off to you. Begin the journey today.