Affairs: keep growing in today`s society

A few days ago after talking to a close,lovely  friend television and radio personality about a soon to be program,on national television  in this beautiful country. I remember saying to her,dear,be prepared for hatred and war,as you have decided to deal with this topic. many a times I have realized,AFFAIRS a

Affairs are devastating

Affairs are devastating

in`t one of the most popular topics today that includes both men and women. Its something people feel like saying,its not my responsibility so why should I worry.

But believe you me,AFFAIRS have seen many a good family and society,and this has become a world wide problem,affecting people of all colors,nationalities and  cultural backgrounds.Collectively you and me have a role to play as we try to deal with this evil. Some years ago i wrote lots of articles on this issue AFFAIRS and had response through email and telephonic-ally  from people,struggling to come to terms with this evil.

In today’s world infidelity is a very common trend. Modern world has become very complex with growth in technology, standard of living, the desire to acquire more and more have certainly affected mind set and level of expectation from his or her partner has also grown with that. We know infidelity is a subjective feeling and growing rate of infidelity has risen several questions likely who is more likely to indulge in adultery? Is it men or women? And what drives them to adultery? And many more such questions are there to be answered.
Who is more likely to be infidel, men or women?
Nobody wants to be cheated in any relationship but cheating in marital relationship is always a devastating experience for the loyal partner. Infidelity is malicious act and is condemnable. But this is also a reality that it has been growing rapidly in both men and women. Initially there was a perception that only men indulge into infidelity but researchers have proved that women also indulge in this malicious act called infidelity .This is also true that percentage of women in indulging infidelity is less than men research  done  has proved this  to be true through their data and statistical report.Nobody wants to be cheated,but my question remains,why do people cheat if marriage,love and relationships.
Are men more likely to cheat/
There has been number of survey in which majority of the results shows that men are more likely to be infidel. Research also shows that men lack self-control and they are more sexually impulsive in comparison to women which are one of the vital reasons why they are prone to infidelity. In a research it was found that more than 90% of the men did not get into a relationship merely due to sex. They claimed it to be emotional reasons like communication gap, negligence, boredom, to boost their ego, etc.
Are women outgrowing in number than men when it comes to infidelity?
One of the most surprising facts is that the rate of infidelity percentage is getting narrow between men and women. Statistical result shows that women don’t cheat for sex reason. Women self-control is higher than men. Reason for infidelity in women more because of emotional grounds like boredom, less attention were given by their spouse but unfortunately it’s been growing rapidly.
Some researchers have found that the reason behind growing infidelity in women is because of financial independence. But it’s true that women who indulge in infidelity are unhappy in their marital life which was reverse in men’s case. According to several research, it has been proved that majority of men claimed that they were happy in their married life.
Whatever may be the reason, it cannot be denied that in today’s world the biggest challenge in the committed relationship is infidelity. Couples spend more time with their co-workers and chances of attraction are higher, internet and advance telecommunication and technology has made cheating and infidelity lot easier than it used to be.

Stressful life and communication gap is also important reason why rate of infidelity is increasing. This is true that changing environment is also a factor but above all relationship is built on trust and loyalty, if that doesn’t exist and people don’t respect each other feeling then infidelity is unstoppable.


[WARNING STRICTLY FOR THOSE IN MARRIAGE UNION-borrowed from a a page and realized it`s worthy sharing.

A lot of people don’t associate sex with God – they associate it with Satan and darkness, as if sex is not Holy…. !! Sex is Holy within marriage, and there is no style=”line-height:115%;background:white;”>prescribed style. Nowhere in the Bible does itNot discussing sex in marriage leads to divorce! Pastors have counseled women who’ve complained; “my husband treats me as if I were his brother.” There was one who told a Pastor “I am tired of getting sex fortnightly, like a salary.” Pastor told her,she was lucky to be getting sex fortnightly, since some wives only get it on big days, like ELECTIONS.

Many husbands leave their wives to seek sexual pleasures in the Avenues/brothels. Have you ever asked yourself what those women have that you don’t? Wives have become very frigid and even sleep with their panties. A married woman, you should sleep naked and let your bum touch your husband.


Today you find men going out of their way to get a glimpse of a female’s private part they go through magazines and even go to lingerie departments in stores hoping to see what’s hidden under panties, because their wives hide it from them. Marriage is about being free with your body in front of your partner. A woman should parade naked and do some modelling to tempt her husband.

There are many married women who don’t know what their husbands’ private part look like. She only feels it when he enters her. They’ve never, touched it, let alone seen it, because the husband switches off the lights before undressing. Your husband’s private part is your toy; she is supposed to play with it

The Pastor blames couples for not making time for sex and complaining about being tired after a day’s work. You find many couples who’ve been sexually starved for years. God created sex for procreation and for pleasure. You can’t marry and not have a good time in bed.



 Why can’t you drive home during lunch and have a quickie with your wife? We’re all equal in sex it’s not just about a woman satisfying a man., . You have to satisfy each other. Have you ever seen a woman who has been satisfied? Have you noticed how she glows and becomes energetic???

(NIV) 1 Corinthians 7:4-5

The wife does not have authority, over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. [5] Do not deprive each, other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.







Ruth waiting,while busy

Ruth waiting,while busy

Boaz finds Ruth

Herbert Mtowo

What women need to know about love, relationships, and men? Wouldn’t you love it if this article had everything you ever needed to know about men in it?! Well, I’m sorry it doesn’t. But, it does have some great insights into the lives of men and what they are looking for in a woman to spend the rest of their lives with. This article speaks directly to all single women out there… but it is a timely article to those young and growing up, to warn and tell them not to be foolish and repeat the many mistakes that millions have continuously repeated in generations past and now.

Many of the WOMEN that I know talk to and have come across need to renew their mind-sets TOWARDS men, if ever they hope of getting their dream men. The topic of single women, is one that churches have struggled to deal with, we give them prayer programs, and urge them to take part in church activities, but at the same time neglect the very issue of prime concern to them, that is of helping them finding their Boaz, their sexual needs and marriage are no go areas, simply becoz the church has searched far and wide for solutions, without any. Hope this article also opens our eyes as a society to help.

There are many women I know who want to get married, but their actions and words speak otherwise. They complain about men, they make fun of men; they stereotype men and wonder out loud where all the “real men” are. But remember women, that before you can be picked, loved or kept, you have to be found or find somebody. Make it your responsibility to be found, not just say there aren’t any more good men around. Make yourself ready, your Boaz will find you and your Boaz is coming. Naomi was the wisdom packaged woman, that many young women, single and those hoping to find love need, she says to her, “Don’t leave until this matter is finished….”,but many miss love a million times because their eyes are wondering and looking for over in the wrong places.

Some women have had their “aha” moments-[Ruth when Boas came calling], that have turned their lives and attitude towards men. God can come down in a cloud from heaven one day (just kidding) and say to you, “Roberta, when men don’t think you like them, they stay away from you.” Now, I am not talking about that one guy who you don’t like but who likes you. I am talking about men in general. Hear me well women, our culture can ridicule traditional masculinity and femininity. That’s why I implore all single, women, whether Christian or not… learn about men. If you hear over and over in the media and in conversations with your sister friends that men are wrong, it will be hard to find a Mr Right.

This must sink in into the hearts and minds of all women, whether single young or old. It is a fact that men of worthy marry virtue. A marriage, relational therapist once dropped the bomb by saying, “Men of worth do not marry vagina. They marry virtue.”

The definition of virtue is to have worth and to be of good quality or admirable. To my beautiful single women out there-so many of you are missing this! Somewhere along the way you’ve bought into the LIE that ANY man is better than NO man. Whether you are single or married, let’s face it, some of you have given up the belief that you are worth fighting for or that you have anything admirable about you.

I know so many women no longer feel like they are even worthy of a good man’s love. That is a LIE! Some of you believe that they are no good men left so we settle for whoever is around. That is a LIE! Just because you’ve been treated like that in the past doesn’t make it right or even truth. Just because you haven’t found a man of worth who will treat you like the virtuous women you are doesn’t mean he isn’t out there. Ladies, don’t settle! Start to discover, and believe, your own worth. You were designed and made with a purpose and it wasn’t to give up and settle for any one, hear me and hear me well, your BOAZ is coming, dust-up, buckle up.

I am fully convinced and persuaded to believe that Ruth and Boaz didn’t have their story written for all to read and remember because they were mediocre. Nope, their relationship was special. It was one of mutual admiration, respect, love, and honor. They understood each other’s worth perfectly and treated one another so. Their story is given especially for you and me as an example. It is not a pie in the sky idea that is past its time. It is something that has happened, and that is happening and can happen to every one of us.

Let’s be honest. How many of you single women are waiting patiently for God to bring you your Boaz? How many of you are following a carefully thought out plan to weed out the bad guys from the good guys? How many of you are acting like you are someone of worth?

To all my married women… how many of you have your “Boaz” but have neglected to treat him like the man of honor that he is? Or, how many of you have let our “Boaz” forget your worth and get away with treating you like you are no longer worthy and desirable… and guys, how many of you have been OK with no longer trying?

Somehow, I hope and pray that this article gets you thinking today… and maybe even challenged your thoughts and behaviors. I want to see you and your relationships succeed. I KNOW you are created for so much more and I want to see you start to believe that. Take a chance! .Life is too short to live regretting

I urge you women and young girls to take a new look at men. We all know men and women are different and relate to each other in different ways. I would encourage you to find out how this plays out in everyday life. Renew your mind on men. Read books. Go to workshops. If you have had bad situations with men, pray and seek help. Don’t let a bad experience with a man in the past; destroy a good experience with a man in the future. That one orange fruit you picked up from a tree doesn’t mean that all the oranges in the tree are bad. Ruth came through the weeping and ended up laughing and leaping with joy!

To all the women out there who are in a hurry to have a boyfriend or get married, a piece of biblical advice: Ruth patiently waited for her mate Boaz…? While you are waiting for your Boaz, don’t settle for any of his relatives… Broke-az, Playao-az, Lyin-az, Drunk-az, Cheap-az, Lockedup-az,Cheat-az, especially his third cousin Beatinyo-az. Wait on your Boaz and make sure he respects Yo-az.”

You want to marry a friend – not an adversary!

Remember it’s Never Too Late To Make Things Better

Herbert Mtowo

What if you’re in a relationship that has fallen off track? Is there any way to start over and get him back? First off, as you start to recognize new things about yourself and the mistakes you’ve made with a man, it’s very easy to start thinking that things are even worse than you thought they were, and for this to freak you out.

But don’t let this stop you from continuing to learn and grow. There’s a funny thing that happens to us in life… It’s that any time you develop a new awareness and you start seeing your behavior

Are you losing him?

Are you losing him?

and interactions in a new light, at first you often feel like kicking yourself. But getting down on yourself and feeling overly frustrated and hopeless doesn’t help. The man you were dating liked you and was attracted to you for some reason. And as much as it might seem like his feelings have changed forever towards you, there’s something you should realize… How do you get that intense ATTRACTION burning again inside him the way it was when you first met and he wanted to stay up all night with you talking and being together?

First, you need to find the patterns in your relationship that are blocking the love and affection you already share for each other… and you need to get these patterns out-of-the-way. Then, you need to understand how to “re-engage” your man with you in your relationship, and do it in an authentic and natural way that will have a lasting effect. A man’s feelings can change very quickly, whether you want them to or not. And you know this from experience.

Now, most women don’t handle this reality about men, dating, and relationships very well at all. In fact, lots of women let this completely freak them out and take over their emotions and how they act and talk with a man.

What’s behind all this is FEAR?
Fear of loss
Fear of rejection
Fear of abandonment
Fear of not being loved, or not being good enough to be loved

And lots of women let these fears take over and run the show as their emotions get the best of them. Of course, I get that it can be a frightening idea that all it takes is just a few wrong words or actions as a woman and “wham!” – the man in your life that you’ve shared so much of yourself with is suddenly not feeling it for you anymore. But here’s the thing…

The fact that a man’s feelings can change so quickly has TWO SIDES to it. See, if a man’s feelings can quickly change from feeling interested and attracted to a woman, to feeling that “ewww” feeling where he wants to get away from her…

It’s also true that a man can quickly change from feeling unattracted and uninterested in a woman…to feeling intensely attracted and wanting to spend time with her again.


We are all poets when WE FIND TRUE LOVElove-wallpaper8
As I watch the smooth blend of the sky & the sea,
I look above and thank God, for bringing you to me…
You are the precious woman, who has the irresistible smile,
Your love is as deep as the Atlantic Ocean
Your slender and lovely body makes you look like a princess,
Your beauty leaves me stupefied & I end up saying..”What a creation of goodness!!”
Your sweet voice is like chocolate to my ears,
I would give up anything, to hear it for years & years…
The soul that you have is analogous to purity,

“You are the one!!” my heart gives me the surety…
Thinking about you makes me wanna be a better man,
And now am becoming the man, in you I have found my match
And keep on this refinement till i become what you would call, “The Man”…
I don’t know if I am the one made for you,
But “You are the one for me” is what I believe is true…
Today, I just wish to make a confession about reality,
Meeting you, my love, was my life’s best serendipity…

I couldn’t have asked for any better a soul mate,
This I know, because God has already decided the best, as you, for my fate…
God makes everything beautiful In His own time..
One little promise that I would like to make,
I would be you soul, your shadow, be it my life at stake….
I promise to pamper you all my life…
Give you all my love & care, my dearest…
I would be a friend, in your times of despair,
Like a mother, would hug you to make sure, things repair…
I promise to be your “all-in-one” family,
And live the rest of my life with you, married happily….
We all become poets when love comes knocking at our door step and all sleep is gone, because reality of love has dawned on us.