faith my lifeHerbert Mtowo
By Herbert Mtowo

Faith is taking a stance on something without wavering… forever. Faith is unyielding. Faith is unstoppable. Faith is unrelenting. Faith moves mountains. Faith conquers. Faith overcomes all obstacles. Faith digs its heals in and will not be moved. Faith is like concrete, the longer it stands the stronger it gets. Faith makes no sense.
I heard a quote which says, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results”. I absolutely disagree with that statement. In my opinion insanity is doing the same thing over and over then quitting before you see results.

I remember as a child being told by my mom that I couldn’t leave the table until I had all of my porridge. OK, let’s face it folks, there are some things in God’s creation that just weren’t meant to be eaten. For me, porridge was my arch-enemy as a child. And when issued the “challenge” of remaining at the breakfast table until my porridge was finished, I was ready to sit at that table until Jesus returned. As that lonely child seated at the breakfast table, I made the decision that my porridge was not going to be eaten and that was that. Nothing could be said, or done to move me once my decision had been made. Generally I was a stubborn child growing up I would not be pushed around or made to do what I didn’t want to do. Such stubbornness is required in our faith and walk with God.

Faith is stubborn. Faith in God’s Word combined with the human will is an unbeatable combination. Just think about all the amazing things man has done. All the inventions, positive causes, and achievements man has succeeded in. I’m amazed when I hear stories like that of Walt Disney, who was told that his idea of building an amusement park in Orange County CA. would never come to pass. But all it takes is one man with an unstoppable vision to build a legacy that will last forever.

Did you know that Walt Disney was turned down over 60 times for a bank loan to fund Disneyland? Earlier in his life he was fired from a newspaper because he “lacked imagination and had no good ideas”. What if Mr. Disney was easily moved by opposition? What if he allowed what others said about him and his ideas to diminish his vision?
Great men have done great things based on the human will alone. Now just imagine what you can do with God’s Word guiding you, and the Holy Spirit within you! We have within us world overcoming faith (1 John 5:4). All we have to do is apply that faith as a stubborn child who refuses to eat his vegetables.

What vision has God placed within you? What is it in life that you have a burning desire to accomplish? No matter how daunting the vision, God placed it in you for a reason. I urge you, not to leave this earth with your dream unborn. Step out in faith and refuse to be denied. Fight the good fight of faith and develop a testimony for future generations of what God can do in the lives of those who take a stand and refuse to give up.


Finding loveCherished Love
By Herbert Mtowo

Boaz finding Ruth is one of my favorite love stories in the history of humanity. Though many would argue with me and say that finding love is like chasing the wind and an elusive dream and believe you me I am no expert to love and in love, but the few years I have lived on planet earth have been full of countless and precious and worthy lessons on a lot of topical issues to life. Talking about the love of a lifetime many schools of thoughts and theories have been spoken of written when it comes to stumbling on the love that we all cherish and long for. But allow me to approach it from another angle as I open my heart and pour it in black and white, how that life still is the master teacher when it comes to finding true love.

The foundational scripture that I’d like to begin with is 1 John 4:19, “We love God because He FIRST LOVED us.” Do you see the significance of those words? We didn’t chase after God. No, he chased after us. He lured us into a relationship with Him. Romans 3:11 tells us that no one seeks after God without him first seeking after them. It was God who waited at the well to talk with the woman who had already lived with seven men and the man she was with wasn’t even her husband. It was God who asked the questions and then provided the answers that would bring about her deliverance and change her life. That day as she made her way to the well, she wasn’t thinking about whether she would have an encounter with God today, no, she was going to get water. But God knew in advance that she would be there and he waited. Then he wooed her with his words.

To my precious Single women friends, how often is this scenario in reverse for you. You get all doled up and go to this or that event, hoping and praying that Mr. Right will find you? I remember growing up my sister at one time confided to me if she can get just a man to give her children she would be happy because she was getting tired by the day of waiting for love, many have died and lived disappointed but hold on for a while and listen to me as you read through this article. Do you ever leave feeling disappointed, especially if you go to a Christian singles’ event and there are 50 women for every one man. The odds really aren’t in your favor.

But I want you to make a shift in your consciousness today. I want you to see the development of a true love relationship, a godly love relationship in a whole new light. I want you to see a love relationship that mimics the relationship that God had with Israel, a prophet had with a prostitute, and Jesus has with the church.

Did you know that God’s relationship with the children of Israel in the Old Testament shows the love that a man is supposed to have for his mate? Are you aware that over and over and over and over in the Bible that God pursued the children of Israel only to be rejected again and again and again? Passage after passage throughout in the Old Testament is God pleading for the children of Israel to love and follow him because He wanted to bless them. Anyone who says God isn’t patient or merciful hasn’t read the Bible. He never gave up; he still hasn’t. These were his people and He loved them despite their bad behavior. All he ever wanted was for them to return and embrace his love.

In fact, he also used the story of Hosea to further depict his love and faithfulness to his people. God put an unconditional love in Hosea’s heart for a prostitute, Gomer and told him to marry her. In Hosea 3:1, God told Hosea, “Love her as the Lord loves the Israelites.” Hosea took Gomer to his home and gave her everything he had. He was crazy over her. But her old ways and life would lure her back into the streets and the arms of other men. Yet, that did not stop Hosea from finding his woman and bringing her back home. That’s how much he loved her.

Did you know that the relationship between Jesus and the church is our model for marriage? The Bible says that “we” are the bride of Christ. In Mark 2:20 Jesus refers to himself as the bridegroom. And because of his love for us, he stepped off his throne in heaven, lived on earth for about 30 years where he was ridiculed and rejected, and then died violently on a cross to restore our relationship back to God so that we could live eternally with Him. Revelations 19:7-9 and 21:1-2 tells about the last wedding that will take place. We are told that at the second coming of Christ, the official wedding ceremony will begin and the eternal union of Christ and his bride (us) will become a reality.

Well as I continued to prepare my writing of this article the Lord spoke to my spirit and said, that if a man is not as crazy and devoted to you as Christ is to the church and God was to the Children of Israel, he is not your bridegroom but a hireling, a fake. Wow! We loved God because HE first loved us. Ladies you are to love the man in our life because “he” first loved you, not because you manipulated, coerced, seduced, or even threatened him in marrying you. As women, you are to be receivers, not chasers. God created the man to choose, to pursue, and to love you and not the other way around. Ephesians 5:25 tells men to love their wives as Christ loved the church. But unfortunately, a role reversal has taken place and women have begun to aggressively chase after men and use any and all means to get them. Ladies, you may get a man, but he won’t be your bridegroom! When God does the choosing he will send him correct and He will put a love in his heart for you that will last longer than a flicker in the night.

I have personally known of men who waited for a woman for YEARS because they knew that woman was the one God had for them; they had eyes for no other. It didn’t matter how cute someone else was, their hearts were taken. Often times the women couldn’t see it. They just weren’t interested at all, but God began to do a work in their heart as well and these marriages are just as strong today as they were years ago.

I know I’m going to sound a bit out there now, but I’m going to say it anyway. Ladies, if the man in your life is not crazy about you, can’t stop thinking about you, doesn’t nurture and cherish you, doesn’t love buying you little things to see you smile, and if that man in your life wouldn’t die for you, he’s not your bridegroom. He is a fake and he’ll never love you like a true groom would. Now you can settle for him just to have somebody and not be alone, but just be clear what you’re doing. However, if you want God’s best, then wait for God to bring him to the well of your heart. Let him ask you for a drink of water but all along his true intentions are to water you with his love, to woo you, and to take you as his own.

Now married to women, your man may have started out thinking you were the cream in his coffee but because of the little foxes that were swept under the rug and not exposed and dealt with, a wall may have surfaced between you. It’s time to cleansing your relationship from everything that stands between you and your man and get those sparks flying again. So don’t despair, just start doing that mental and spiritual cleaning that is blocking the love between you from flowing freely. However, if you settled for a hireling, you may have to work harder to cultivate love and passion in your relationship, but with God all things are possible.

Now to all the men, I told you that you can glean from this article as well because if the woman in your life doesn’t make you a little “coo coo,” when you think about her then she probably isn’t the one either. I believe that when God presents that woman in your life you will eat, breath, dream, and sleep her. You won’t be able to get her out of your mind. It’s like thoughts about her will haunt you, in a good way of course. And yes, you would give her your all, up to the point of your own life. Your love for her will represent the love that Jesus has for the church and God for his people.

Therefore, single women if you are in a relationship and with a man, in which, you are always questioning whether he loves you, you don’t know his intentions, and you are carrying the bulk of relationship, run away, don’t walk. This man is “just not that into you.” Your bridegroom and your Boaz won’t have any problem showing you and telling you how he feels.

Lastly, be patient and as you learned in life`s lessons, learn to have a relationship with yourself and be fun, confident, and a joy to be around. Then one day when you least expect it, he’ll be right there waiting for you and you thought you were just going to buy some lettuce.

Strengthening your wife…

Making her comfy with you

By Valentine Zhou

Men, imagine your wife achieving everything she desires to do! And when she is interviewed on national Television, they ask her – “What made you do this much greatness?”, then she simply replies, “I can do anything I purpose to do because my husband helps me, supports me, encourages me and backs my every move. Wouldn’t that be just wonderful?

I remember the first days I got married; I used to say, when we had an argument with Shantelle I would pull out heavy artillery just to shoot her down and would make sure she stays down. I would even say hurtful and insulting words just to win the argument. At times I would lie just to emerge the winner. How many men relate with me there?
But as we progressed in marriage I discovered that Shantelle was no longer confident of herself anymore and I wanted to push her into being strong when I wanted her to be strong and shoot her down when we had an argument. Till one day she opened up to me and today me that your word just hurt me and destroy my self-esteem.

After I had written then what did Jesus do? A piece, I was forwarded a scripture that I know and knew very well but now it had a new meaning and a new understanding that came with it. And made me realize how I should have and how I should treat my wife from here going forth.I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.Philippians 4:13

If the bible simplifies a husband and wife relationship to that of Christ and the church, it than means as men our template then is Christ. We draw from Christ as men, we follow Christ as He is the greatest example. I then got an understanding that this has to be Shantelle saying, “I can do all thing cause Vale strengthens me”. Then I thought what did Jesus do to strengthen his church? It then dawned on me that I am not just the King in my house but also a prophet and a priest. I am my wife’s biggest supporter, I am my wife’s biggest encourage r, I am my wife’s biggest financier, I am my wife’s biggest intercessor, I am my wife’s bigger pillar of strength and I am my wife’s greatest fixer (when she makes mistakes I will not shoot her down) – just to mention a few the list is endless.

Philippians 2 says, “….let this mind be in you which was in Christ Jesus….” Meaning we don’t have to think what Christ would have done but focus on what he did. Christ put her bride first and made it His mission to just get the best for her. Philippians further says that insight of Him being God he lowered himself just for His bride’s sake. How much more as husbands should we make our wife’s say you are my greatest supporter? Not in public but in private.

Advice for the unmarried

By Pastor Mark Driscoll

Marry someone who will be a fit for every season of the life that awaits you together. As I’ve mentioned before, Grace and I met in high school, married in college, and then graduated to start Mars Hill Church together a few years later. She then quit work to stay at home and be a mother to our now five children, and we recently celebrated our sixteenth wedding anniversary and a total of over twenty years together including dating. So far, together we have been through high school, college, ministry, and parenting.

One day our five children will be grown, and we will grow old together. Grace does not get to travel with me often, but when she does, we talk often about how great our current season of life is but also how fun it will be when the kids are grown and we can travel together for ministry and enjoy our grand kids. Marriage is about getting old and serving one another in every season of life. So marry someone with every season in mind. Too often, Christians marry only with children in mind and do not consider that one day the kids will be gone, but the couple will be together all the time; as a result, when the kids leave home, crisis hits the marriage because the kids were the glue that held things together.

We love our children, but we also love being together and growing old together.
choice to marry


Making love is A Skill to be mastered.

There are SEVERAL warning signs to alert you to take action to protect yourself and your relationship from ‘emotional infidelity.’Over the years in my practice as a counselor and training consultant on social issues aaaand networking with many other specialist in this field has made me realize that,these are some of the warnings we have to gaurd against.

a. Thinking and saying you’re ‘just friends’ with opposite-sex.

If you’ve been thinking or saying, “we’re just friends,” think again. If it’s a member of the opposite sex, you may be swimming in treacherous waters. The very words are dangerous to your marriage.

This rationale allows you to make excuses, or more plainly, to tell lies (to yourself and others) about something you know in your gut is wrong. Regardless how strongly TV and entertainment promote the idea of opposite-sex friendships (and this is part of the problem!) as not only ‘okay,’ but also ‘right’ to demand unconditional trust, in most cases, an intimate friendship with a member of the opposite-sex that you find interesting and attractive poses risks.

b. Treating them as a confidant, sharing intimate issues.

Sharing thoughts and deepest concerns, hopes and fears, passions and problems is what deepens intimacy; it builds an emotional bond between two people, time better used in marriage relationship. Giving this away to another person, regardless of the justification, is infidelity, a betrayal of trust. This is especially true when you consider that emotional intimacy is the most powerful bond in human relationships, much stronger than a sexual one.

c. Discussing troubling aspects of your marriage and partners.

Talking or venting to a person of the opposite sex about what your marriage lacks, what your partner lacks, or what you’re not getting to make you happy sends a loud message that you’re available for someone else to ‘love and care’ for your needs. It’s also a breach of trust. And, like gossip, it creates a false sense of shared connection, and an illusion that you, your happiness, your comfort and needs are totally valued by this person (when, in truth, this has not been put to the test!).

d. Comparing them verbally and mentally to your partner.

Another danger sign is a thinking pattern that increasingly finds what is ‘positive’ and ‘just right’ about the friend and ‘negative’ and ‘unfulfilling’ about the partner. This builds a case ‘for’ the friend and ‘against’ the partner. Another mental breach of trust, this unfairly builds a physiologically felt case ‘for’ the friend and ‘against’ the partner, forming mental images in the brain that associate pleasurable and painful sensations accordingly.

e. Obsessively thinking or daydreaming about the person.

If you find yourself looking forward to seeing the person, cannot wait to share news, think about what you’re going to tell them when you’re apart, and imagine their excitement, you’re in trouble. This sense of expectation, excitement, anticipation releases dopamine in reward centers of your brain, reinforcing toxic patterns. Obsessively thinking about the person is an obvious signal that something is wrong. After all, you don’t do this with your friends, right?

f. Believing this person ‘gets’ you like no other.

It always appears this way in affairs and romantic encounters at the start. It’s an illusion, and in the case of emotional infidelity, one that is dangerous to a marriage because the sense of mutual ‘understanding’ forms a bond that strengthens and deepens emotional intimacy, with the release of pleasurable neurochemicals, such as the love and safety hormone oxytocin. This focus also puts you in a ‘getting’ frame of mind. It means you are approaching your marriage in terms of what you’re getting or not getting, rather than what you’re contributing.

g. Pulling out of regular activities with your partner, family, work.

Being absorbed with desire to spend more and more time talking, sharing, being with the person, it’s only natural to begin to resent time you spend on responsibilities and activities at home (and work?). As a result, you begin to pull away, turn down, or make excuses for not joining regular activities with your partner and family. Family members notice you are withdrawn, irritable and unhappy.

h. Keeping what you do secret and covering up your trail.

Secrecy itself is a warning sign. It creates a distinct closeness between two people, and at the same time grows the distance between them and others. Secrets create a special bond, most often an unhealthy one. For example, there may be a false sense of emotional safety and trust with the person, and an unwarranted mistrust and suspicion of the partner, or those who try to interfere with the ‘friendship.’

i. Keeping a growing list of reasons that justify your behaviors.

This involves an addictive pattern of thinking that focuses your attention on how unhappy you are, why you’re unhappy, and blames your partner and marriage for all aspects of your unhappiness. It builds a dangerous sense of entitlement and forms a pool of resentment from which you feel justified to mistreat your partner or do what you need to increase your happiness without considering the consequences.

j. Fantasizing about a love or sexual relationship with the person.

At some point, one or both persons begin to fantasize about having a love or sexual relationship with the other. They may begin to have discussions about this, which adds to the intensity, the intrigue and the intoxicating addictive releases of neurochemicals that make the pattern more entrenched.

k. Giving or receiving personal gifts from the person.

Another flag is when the obsession affects your buying behaviors, so that you begin to think about this person when you are shopping, wondering what they like or would show your appreciation. The gift choices are something intimate items that you would not give ‘just’ a friend. Gifts send clear messages that the two of you are a ‘close we’ set apart from others, and that the relationship is ‘special.’

l. Planning to spend time alone together or letting it happen.

This is the warning sign that, when not heeded, most often pushes partners to cross the line from a platonic to a sexual relationship. Despite good intentions and promises to one another that they would not let ‘anything’ happen, it’s a set up, a matter of time, when opposite-sex friends flirt with the availability of time alone.

Affairs are like cancer

Affairs are like cancer


If you’re like a lot of people in today’s world, you have been deeply wounded or betrayed, abused or mistreated and to add insult to injury, it was most likely done at the hand of a loved one or trusted friend. The pain it has caused you will not go away and you are in an emotional prison as a result. It may be that over the course of time, justice has or will be served when or if those responsible are made to pay for the injustice or pain they inflicted on you. If not justice, perhaps, it may be that the consequences of their actions come back full circle to hurt them because of their actions. However, to believe that justice or retribution will bring the healing and peace of mind necessary to move on, is to be deceived and is a set-up for major disappointment.

And, what if justice is never served and those who failed you or inflicted such terrible pain, never pay for it in any way? What do you do then? Like it or not, the only way to true healing and restoration is through forgiveness. Surely, many will cringe at the very thought of forgiving the one responsible for so much pain in their lives. From a human or “rational” perspective, it makes no sense at all. Yet, there is no greater power to release us from the pain, inflicted by another, than to forgive the one who caused it.

Harboring unforgiveness is destructive and can lead to devastating results. It’s like a fire that smolders in the heart and smothers the soul. It is so insidious that one can be totally unaware of the damage it is doing, until it is too late. Unforgiving people live as victims and spend much of their time and energy justifying it. They are obsessed with the wrong done to them and quick to point out, to anyone who will listen, the lack of understanding people have regarding how much they have suffered or the agony they have endured. In truth, they are right. Most people cannot, nor will they ever, truly understand the suffering of another. Yet, what is the benefit of remaining in that misery and attempting to draw others into that misery along with them? Where is the healing in that?

Unforgiving people are quick to claim rights. They can be extremely sensitive to any wrongs done to them, regardless of how small or minuscule. They are obsessed with the bad things that happened to them in the past and are absolutely certain no one’s circumstances were as bad as theirs were. They take pleasure in the power their pain seems to give them over friends and enemies alike, as they require more and more pity and understanding. They are oblivious to the pain their unforgiveness inflicts on others not understanding or caring that dwelling on their pain only serves to make everyone else around them miserable. In short, unforgiving people are some of the most miserable people in the world.

All signs that could, if they were paying attention, alert them to the damage being done to their souls, as they choose to live out their unforgiveness. If unforgiveness is an issue for you, as it is for so many, what can be done about it? The first thing, is to recognize that God Himself has extended an offer of unconditional forgiveness to you, should you choose to receive it. You receive it by believing in His Son Jesus Christ and confessing that He is Lord and then asking for God’s forgiveness. The Bible says we are all sinners and in need of His forgiveness so that we may be reconciled to Him. Once you receive His forgiveness, the Bible tells us that you then receive the power of God, through His Holy Spirit now living in you, to do the things He asks you to do, like forgive others – no matter how awful the violation or abuse.

It does not mean you deny the wrongdoing or pain it caused or that you try to excuse it or justify it in any way. It would be disingenuous and demeaning not to recognize and acknowledge something terribly hurtful and inexcusable was done to you and that it never should have happened. To do so, would minimize the importance of forgiveness and its power to bring healing to a broken heart and a devastated soul. Forgiveness does not mean you forget. However, as the healing takes place, the memory of the incident will no longer trigger the raw emotions it once did. The memories instead will begin to fade and lose their hold. Instead of pushing all your buttons, the memory will be more about the time you forgave or the process of forgiveness you are committed to. Forgiveness is not just some positive feeling or altered emotion towards another. Forgiveness is an act of the will. We have the responsibility, and the authority as children of God, to offer to others the very forgiveness that God has given us. That is what Jesus tells us in Matthew 18:21-35, and be assured He would not tell us to do something we did not have the power to do through Him! Where does forgiveness begin, assuming the one need to forgive has been forgiven by God, is now in relationship with Him and has His power to offer it to another? This may come as a surprise, but the first step is to examine what happened to our heart following the wounding or offense. Did it result in deep-seated anger, bitterness or resentment? Did we speak unlovingly about them to others? Did we retaliate in some way? If so, we are just as guilty before God as our offender and we must confess that to Him. Regardless of what they originally did to us, we must confess our hatred, resentment or anger towards our offender. This does not in any way minimize or affirm their action. Its purpose is to allow our heart to be cleansed from our own sinful reaction to the offense, so that it is free to forgive and be healed.

Another powerful step to add in the forgiveness process is to bless your offender every time you think of what they did and they pain they caused you. I Peter 3:8-9 says; “To sum up, all of you be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted and humble in spirit; not returning evil for evil or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead; for you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing.” When you bless others who have hurt or cursed you, God says, you will receive a blessing as a result.

Blessings promote healing, not only for you but also for those who have offended or hurt you. That is God’s ultimate desire, that all involved be healed, forgiven and restored. You can also write a letter – that you do not send – to the person who hurt you. Tell them everything they did that hurt you and how you feel as a result. If you are angry with them, tell them. Be very honest. Writing touches the emotional side of our brain and allows us to get in touch with what we are really feeling. It has been said that most Christians are stuck in their anger because they deny it exists. Get alone with God, once you’ve written everything you want to say and read it out loud to Him, making sure that no one else can hear you. After you have said (and yelled) everything you wanted to say (and yell), make a conscious choice to forgive, remembering that you can only truly forgive with God’s help and power. Then say, “In Jesus Name (because that’s where your power and authority comes from) I forgive you”. List the name(s of your offender) and what say specifically what you are forgiving them for. Follow that up with “I release you and I bless you.” When you bless them, try blessing them in every way you would like God to bless you. You will soon begin to notice that joy and blessings and love will start to flow in your heart and life again. Be sure and destroy the letter! While Restoration of a broken relationship is a worthy goal, there are circumstances and situations where it is not possible or realistic; like when the offender has died or is no longer mentally cognizant. Or when a person has been the victim of rape. Regardless of the crime or pain inflicted upon the victim, there will be no healing apart from forgiveness and there will be no forgiveness apart from the power of God to do so. God longs for you to be set free from the prison of unforgiveness and promises you the power to do it. Turn the key by asking Him and your prison doors could swing open today.

Let the transforming power of forgives flood your heart and you will never be the same. “And so I discovered that it is not on our forgiveness any more than on our goodness that the world’s healing hinges, but on God’s. When He tells us to love our enemies, He gives, along with the command, the love itself.” – Corrie Ten Boom

What Defines Us is How Well We Rise After Falling

by AM Bishop

Pain, suffering and stress are the admission tickets to the game of life. But what would life be like without them? In a world without hurdles, there are no champions; without suffering, there are no saints; without battles, there are no victories; without rain, no rainbows. Isn’t a world that includes pain is more rewarding than one that doesn’t? Haven’t we all heard of the ‘Refiner’s fire”? Isn’t an intense heat necessary to produce gold, pressure and polishing necessary to produce diamonds and adversity necessary to produce character?Here’s how Henry Ford expressed the same sentiment: Life is a series of experiences, each one of which makes us bigger, even though sometimes it is hard to realize this. For the world was built to develop character, and we must learn that the setbacks and grieves which we endure help us in our marching onward.

Each of us needs to recognize stress and difficulties for what they are: opportunities to lift ourselves to a higher level. Sailors caught in a storm should prayer not for safety from danger, but for deliverance from fear. Why should they accept the storm? Because a smooth sea never made a skillful mariner.

When an eagle believes her eaglets are large enough to learn how to fly, she begins to take apart the nest and push the eaglets out. After this rude awakening, the eaglets discover they have wings! They can fly! The universe is constantly nudging us, pushing us off one cliff after another, in the hope that one day we, too, will discover our wings and soar to new heights.

All of us make will make mistakes that will bring our world to a halt but we need to face our fear and let the circumstance mold our character. We’ll be better because of it.